Do you find that your wedding has put a strain on your relationship with friends?

Original post by glinda_goodwitch

May 31, 2006 10:59 AM

My MOH hately has made me a little annoyed. We originally decided silver shoes with the dress, but when one of my BMs went for her fitting, the lady at the shop suggested black. Black actually looked better with the BM dresses. Everyone was willing to change. My MOH has a different color dress and when I first told her, she said she could get black if necessary. At the fitting she was very rude and acted so mad that I thought black was better. She said she didn't have any black shoes, and then went and wore black the next day to my bachelorette party So she finally said black was okay at the fitting. I think she was just playing nice. So last night she IMs me and says she tried to find black shoes and she can't find any and has spent so much money already. Can she wear her silver ones? I don't care any more, so I said fine. I don't want to fight. But I didn't think it was that big of a request.

Then at my bachelorette party a few weeks ago she yelled at me in the bathroom of the club because I told her I didn't want her driving home drunk. She's like ' You know, you're really pissing me off! If I say something you need to trust me on it.' She has control issues. But it hurt to be yelled at during my bachelorette party. Even the bathroom attendant felt bad for me.

I don't know, I've tried to be SO accomodating, and now with the wedding so close, I need my MOH to be supportive, not wrapped up in shoes. I know she's having a hard time with her ex, but I feel like she can't be happy for me fully. It's times like this when I really really wish I had a sister.

glinda_goodwitch Posted: May 31, 2006 03:49 PM

Re: Do you find that your wedding has put a strain on your relationship with friends?

Posted by soon2bcopswife

I think my wedding made me see who really loves us and who could care less. My DH's sister won the award for 'WORST BRIDESMAID OF THE YEAR'.

1. She wouldn't get measured because Davids Bridal is in Yonkers and that is beneath her. So she called in her measurements and they ordered her what they thought would fit. I had to pick it up and drive it to her in the city.

2. For my shower, my BM's and my Mom did everything. But my one BM didn't call, didn't assist financially and didn't send a gift until 3 weeks after the fact. She is a millionaire, but now we see money doesn't buy class.

3. She didn't come to my bachelorette party because she didn't feel like it (all we did was have a coed dinner party at my house).

4. All I asked for the wedding was that the girls wear their hair up, no particular style. I even asked that we could all go together and have breakfast (my treat). She wouldn't come to the Bronx, beneath her. She shows up in a ponytail, telling us how some famous hairstylist came to her house to do her hair. Ummmm, you paid for that??

5. And finally, leaves our wedding, 1 1/2 into the reception, trying to sneak out and me and DH catch her, since we were outside taking pics.

And we haven't heard from her since.....Some sister, huh?

That is HORRIBLE! I'm sorry that happened to you

soon2bcopswife Posted: May 31, 2006 03:53 PM

Re: Do you find that your wedding has put a strain on your relationship with friends?

I think she is just living in her own little world. She is just evil. When she had her baby, we were all so excited. I went out and bought all of the favors for her baby shower, bought all of these gifts and when it came time for me, she just couldn't be bothered.

Her loss....

Dina Posted: May 31, 2006 10:53 PM

Re: Do you find that your wedding has put a strain on your relationship with friends?

i find myself regretting having any BM at all honestly. i have 7, 2 are OOT (MOH and my cousin) so i understand that they can't be around to help much. the other 5 have done nothing to contribute, i found out this week that my mom planned and paid for my shower all by herself which kills me bc she owns a business and works 7 days a week, plus doesn't speak english well and doesn't really understand the 'american' wedding customs to boot. i swear, if i dont plan my own bachelorette party, i know i'm not having one. it really makes me sad

EJSD2006 Posted: Jun 01, 2006 09:33 AM

Re: Do you find that your wedding has put a strain on your relationship with friends?

Posted by BEANS

No strain really, just made me realize who my REAL friends are. And I do regret having one girl in the wedding.

same here...no problems with any of the BM's, they've all been great thus far. but i had a problem with a girl that is now an ex-BM. she was not responsive at all to any emails or calls about dresses, get togethers, etc. things just got very awkward between us after a while and she was very negative about decisons i made...i realized that i didn't even like this girl anymore, so why should i have to look at her face in my wedding photos for the rest of my life? so i made the decision to give her the boot! it was one of the best wedding decisions i made, no more headaches. everyone said she was acting that way because she couldnt deal with the fact that i had gotten engaged before her. call me crazy, but a real friend is supportive and happy when you get engaged. not jealous and bitter!

you really learn who your real friends are when you are planning a wedding

soon2bcopswife Posted: Jun 01, 2006 10:15 AM

Re: Do you find that your wedding has put a strain on your relationship with friends?

Posted by alnem

Posted by BEANS

No strain really, just made me realize who my REAL friends are. And I do regret having one girl in the wedding.

same here...no problems with any of the BM's, they've all been great thus far. but i had a problem with a girl that is now an ex-BM. she was not responsive at all to any emails or calls about dresses, get togethers, etc. things just got very awkward between us after a while and she was very negative about decisons i made...i realized that i didn't even like this girl anymore, so why should i have to look at her face in my wedding photos for the rest of my life? so i made the decision to give her the boot! it was one of the best wedding decisions i made, no more headaches. everyone said she was acting that way because she couldnt deal with the fact that i had gotten engaged before her. call me crazy, but a real friend is supportive and happy when you get engaged. not jealous and bitter!

you really learn who your real friends are when you are planning a wedding

That is so true! I thought that my engagement should be like it is in the movies, where the girls are all so giddy and happy for you, 3 of my 4 BM's were. But it really made me open my eyes too.