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Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Original post by bride2bebe

First of all- I am still stressed about registering. It was supposed to be something fun and it was at times but I definately DO NOT recommend going with FMIL. That was my mistake because I have a problem saying NO.

Luckily, I was ble to say NO to things she suggested and registered for everything I wanted and loved.

Ugh- Then yesterday...FMIL's best friend calls me up like 'oh you have mistakes on your registry and oh you didn't add this and why would you add that and I want to buy you this, it's not on your registry but what do you think' bla bla bla WHO DOES THAT? I wanted to say- I think it's disgusting and stick to registry but I politely told her to stick to the registry and told FMIL to tell her the same.

This woman had nerve. I show up to work this morning and this woman's younger sister (who's daughter is one of my flowergirls) sent me an email saying 'I heard you found an FG dress' (which I didn't) What about this one, I like it.

The dress was ugly, tacky and cheap looking.
IMO it's not fair to my other FG and my 2 other junior BMs to spend 200$ and for this woman to suggest a 30$ dress.

I also know some people can't afford more but, they can. Otherwise, I wouldn't ask that of anyone.
What nerve do they have to do this?

FH agrees with me and sees they are crossing all kinds of lines with their 'suggestions'

It may not sound so bad but, it is and it's even worse because I have never really had to be so stern about saying NO.

It's just not fair to everyone else in my Bridal Party if I make an exception for these people.


I just found this in my inbox and I am so disgusted at how rude they are being, I can't believe someone can send this email:

About the dress you sent me, I hope you won't get me wrong here but we really don't like it. First the color is too pale, those sleeves like butterfly wings and the thing that goes over it with the flowers looks like an old dress, old fashioned not something for a little pretty girl. Maybe it looks ok without all those things and if the color would be white but I don't want you to waste so much much money on something that won't look good for Giuliana. She never liked flamboyant dresses, she just takes them off! Also, regarding the size please keep in mind that she will definetely grow until August so any fitting is useless at this time, I would most likey go with size 4 toddler.We are going to Europe for 2 months in April so definetely there won't be any time for fitting, honestly everything I buy is

online because I don't have time to go to the stores. I'm sure your time is valuable as well so if you consider that someone else would fit and like this dress I really don't mind at all. We will enjoy anyway your wedding and be a part of it with great love!





KRISTIND Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

crasher....tell her to do us all a favor and stay in europe

Brat23 Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

OMG here is a line that works well

* Thank You I will Take that into consideration*
AugustBridein09 Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

I would 'politely' write back that she can no longer be in it, if she won't wear and will 'tear off' the dress you picked out.

bride2bebe Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

This is the dress:


I spoke with FMIL and although she can be opinionated and not always agrees with me- It sounds like we are on the same page.

She explained she is embaressed by this woman's behavior and will have a talk to her to explain the honor of being a flower girl and that the parents pay for the dress, not me!


I just dont know how she expected me to pay for her daughter's clothes- I don't know her like that!
AugustBridein09 Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Posted by bride2bebe

This is the dress:







OMG That is SUCH A CUTE DRESS!!!! I LOVE IT!
bride2bebe Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Thank you!


What do you girls think- should I respond to that email?


Basically say- this is the dress- you hurt my feelings, I'm offended and if you didn't understand the responsibility here is an explanation.

If she wants to wear it fine, if not, fine.
AugustBridein09 Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Posted by bride2bebe

Thank you!


What do you girls think- should I respond to that email?


Basically say- this is the dress- you hurt my feelings, I'm offended and if you didn't understand the responsibility here is an explanation.

If she wants to wear it fine, if not, fine.



This is just me and my opinion but I would let FMIL talk to her and see what she says....THEN send an email that goes something like what I sent you.

HTHs

bride2bebe Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

WOW- I could not have said it better myself! I guess when it's yourself in the position than your at a loss for words.


THANK YOU!
AugustBridein09 Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Glad I could help.
bride2bebe Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

This is the other dress for my five year old flower girl (mini bride) who is a lot less shy and kind of a superstar waiting to be discovered:

2009Bride2Be Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

I am just curious though, maybe I missed something in the original post. If you dont know this woman like that, then why is her daughter your FG?

And honestly, IMO, if I EVER got an email like that I wouldnt WANT her daughter or her to have anything to do with my wedding and I would simply reply ya know what Thank you for your honesty and youve shown me that I should be just as honest as you. I dont need your daughter any longer to be my FG and I dont need you at my wedding. My wedding is a day for love and happiness and I dont need any negative people, such as yourself being there. Thanx anyway.

PS: DRESS IS ADORABLE!
AugustBridein09 Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Posted by bride2bebe

This is the other dress for my five year old flower girl (mini bride) who is a lot less shy and kind of a superstar waiting to be discovered:





taginty Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

OMG---I can feel your pain. I had similar issues with my FSIL today about flowergirl dresses. Her 2 daughters are our flowergirls. She was supposed to order the dresses this weekend and hasn't done so yet I spoke with her today and she told me that her mom (my FMIL) didn't like the dress, too much brown, and her husband (my FBIL) was complaining about the price.

I politely told her that I love the dress and it matches the bridesmaids dresses perfectly, I didn't want them wearing white.

She went on about trying to please everyone. So, my reply was ' Well, I am very happy. And that is what is important since I am the bride!!!'

It is so frustrating---she knew since last may that she would have to pay for these dresses. She had plenty of time to do what was necessary. I know she was just trying to get me to say, ok we will get a cheaper dress but I wouldn't back down.

Good Luck!!!!
bride2bebe Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Reason why she is my FG is because most of the BP is my family and FMIL doesn't have a lot of family that would be in the bridal party. This little girl is her goddaughter so she was pushing for her...


Honestly, since Monday all this woman and her sister have done is make my life hell! I was at work about to cry after reading that. OK, so she didn't like it....who tears apart a dress like that!
bride2bebe Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

I emailed her this-




I'm sorry you and Giuliana do not like the dress I picked. I was really excited about it and think it is very princessy and cinderella-like making it very appropriate for a little girl. Alex and I are a little offended and hurt by your previous email. I also want to make sure you understand that Alex & I are not responsible for the cost of the dress which is why I asked you if she would be part of the wedding party. I also wanted to ask if you think maybe Giuliana might not be right for being in the wedding if you mentioned she would rip the dress off.

I hope you understand, there is a lot of planning dedicated to this day and I would like to have everything work out the way we want it, the way we think is best for our wedding. Please let me know your decision so that we can plan accordingly. As you said, time is valueable and I hate to spend more time talking about a dress and looking for another one when I found one that I love.
MrsJuneB2B Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Posted by twoifbysea

Holy C RAP!!! She has a set made of steel!!!! I can't believe she had the nerve to criticize the FG dress you picked out! 'old fashioned' ??? ohh I'd be FUMING!


ITA!! and you must be made of steel to not have just screamed at her by now! OMG!
MrsJuneB2B Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Posted by bride2bebe

I emailed her this-




I'm sorry you and Giuliana do not like the dress I picked. I was really excited about it and think it is very princessy and cinderella-like making it very appropriate for a little girl. Alex and I are a little offended and hurt by your previous email. I also want to make sure you understand that Alex & I are not responsible for the cost of the dress which is why I asked you if she would be part of the wedding party. I also wanted to ask if you think maybe Giuliana might not be right for being in the wedding if you mentioned she would rip the dress off.

I hope you understand, there is a lot of planning dedicated to this day and I would like to have everything work out the way we want it, the way we think is best for our wedding. Please let me know your decision so that we can plan accordingly. As you said, time is valueable and I hate to spend more time talking about a dress and looking for another one when I found one that I love.


PERFECT!!!! that's exactly what i would have said. and btw, you did an awesome job of being very polite and tactful!!!

PS- both of those dresses are ADORABLE!! i've said it before...i wish i had a FG!! lol
Suzanner Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

From that 'woman's' email, I took the following:

She has no idea how weddings work. She has clearly never been invited to be in a bridal party- no wonder, considering her social skills- and completely expected you to purchase the dress for her daughter.

From the last line, it seems to me that she was suggesting that it was best that they not participate in the wedding. I could be wrong, but I think that's what she was saying.

If she doesn't have 'time' to get a dress for your wedding, then obviously it's not a priority for her. I understand our weddings are not as important to other people as they are to us, but at the same time, I don't think it's asking anyone too much to take a few hours out of her life to get a dress for your wedding.

If it's that unimportant, then perhaps her resources would best be spent at home. Her funds, I'm sure, will be very limited after TWO MONTHS in Europe.

But seriously, that dress you chose is absolutely gorgeous. To also say that her daughter should be wearing white is beyond rude. And finally, if she realizes her daughter would just rip the dress off, then why doesn't she get a babysitter and leave her at home?

The dress you chose for the other FG? Nicer than my wedding dress. Both are absolutely stunning. Best of luck- I hope it all works out.
KPetekie Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

give us the update when she responds to your e-mail- hopefully she'll remove her daughter from your wedding and then the headache will be gone!

bride2bebe Posted:

Re: Does everyone have to put their 2 cents in? WOW UPDATE

Thank you I am so upset by this- def not made of steel but, what can I do. Ignorant people say ignorant things...it's definately not the smart people with respect and courtesy that say offensive things like that.

I have to give credit to AugustBride, she really helped me and basically wrote the entire top portion of the paragraph. She's very good.

Honestly, I am too overwhelmed by her words to have replied back so tactfully.

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