Does your FH help???

Original post by Margarita

Mar 27, 2009 07:32 PM

Okay so I'm just wondering how much help you girls are getting from FH??

Mine is completely useless. He keeps promising to help and does NOTHING!!!

How do I motivate him to do more???

bride2b57 Posted: Mar 27, 2009 11:20 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

Ha Ha I love that...he only cares about the quality of the steaks. That sounds familiar. My FH started off super involved. It is dwindling. I find that the more he knows about how much it costs the worse off we are lol. It might help if you pick and choose your battles. I asked FH to be involved in picking the RH, photos, and DJ. Everything else that involves decor, invitations, favors etc...I am doing. This way the things that mean the most he is a part of. No sense in listening to whining over trips to pick flowers lol.

frannygirl75 Posted: Mar 28, 2009 12:10 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

ummm i feel ya on this one i always ask him what he thinks or some kind of opinion and the response i get is its ok honey it doesnt matter to me you pick!

BeLissa Posted: Mar 28, 2009 12:34 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

Posted by valthom426

He doesn't really help but there are some decisions he insists on being made a part of, such as music, menu choices and choosing our officiant. I wish he'd help but then again it's just not who he is.

This week I'm grateful because we tooka ballroom dance lesson with John from BallroomdanceLI and it's done wonders for us. We actually practice!! But of course that was me again, doing the research, setting up the appt and dragging his butt to go dancing.

you literally took every word out of my mouth - right down to the whole situation with John from Ballroom Dance (isnt he great??) But no, FH was not involved in most of the planning, but as much as there were times i would have liked him to care a little bit more, i have to say that i am completely content that i got to make a lot of decisions on my own. but as its getting closer he definitely wants a say in some things - including all the things you named above.

grkbarbie Posted: Mar 28, 2009 10:41 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

he has his opinions, but i preffer to do everythign myself. i boked the hall and then took him to see it lollll

he trusts me and we both have the same taste..esp after living together for over 3 yrs. so i dont care. he is sooo into making a monogram though. and he'll go to anything that involves food. other htan that.. its all on me. i like it that way

bride2bebe Posted: Mar 28, 2009 10:54 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

FH is involved in coming with me to all apts. and he also always makes sure the things I buy online are good before I buy them.
I give him the options and does the research to choose the best one. I don't expect him to do anymore but, I do wish he would help with making phonecalls to our friends and family that are in our bridal party.

Be careful what you wish for because when the FH gets involved it can open up a new can of worms with extra opinions and it can cause some arguments...

I guess it's a double edged sword...

Celeste617 Posted: Mar 28, 2009 05:37 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

I've been lucky - FH is super helpful. A lot of it comes due to the fact that I don't drive so he has to bring me places But he really does seem to enjoy some of the wedding stuff. He definitely has lit the fire under my a$$ a few times when I was being a procrastinator.

caligirl87 Posted: Mar 28, 2009 08:45 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

FH lives in NY where we are having the wedding and I don't, so he has to be my hands and feet. I've of the appts myself via phone and tell him what I plan to do. He puts in his input but for the most part just tells me it sounds great. He did the DJ and HM all by himself, met with the RH and signed the contract. I told him our caterer and he set up 2 appointments to go over menus, see who they recommend for bakeries, etc. He's taking a billion pics of RHs for me so I could 'see' them. Overall, I say he's been great! I can't expect him to do much more because if this was about a car or one of his crazy hobbies, I probably wouldn't even be as enthused as he's been about the wedding.

lolalovesacroat Posted: Mar 29, 2009 06:17 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

Posted by KerriJohnS

FH is involved by coming to every appt we have. I pick that places and book the apointments and he takes me there.
I like it that way too! His involvement is somewhat minimal... so that gives me free reign to do whatever I want!
He is interested in everything, even though he forgets all the details all the time!

OMG this is us to the T!! I call find, make appts, find the prices and he drives/shows up, says it is up to you meaning lets get the F out of here ASAP!!

asg450 Posted: Mar 29, 2009 06:31 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

FH is very helpful. At first, I was doing everything and just showing him what I chose to get his opinion. But then he started making appointments and doing research, which was a big help. He's gone to every appointment; except dress shopping, of course.

LanaB Posted: Mar 29, 2009 07:14 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

No at all I feel like i am all in by myself. Its kind of upsetting

hogie2be Posted: Mar 29, 2009 07:16 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

He went to almost all of the appointments with me and pipes up for his say in random things, like the font on the invitations he did some DIY projects (even initiated his own!)
but we have had some recent tiffs over him distracting me or worse not listening to what I need him to help with projects... we're only getting like this in the final week though, I think that's normal

If I can speculate.. I noticed a lot of the gals who are having the fading or lack of interest with FH are getting married in 2010...maybe they just don't see the immediacy in planning yet? FH was like this with some of our planning, like tuxes

lissylissa Posted: Mar 29, 2009 07:31 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

i make allll the appointments we go together he asks a lot of questions but when it comes down to it he lets me decide on everything i want!!!!

MrsDigger Posted: Mar 29, 2009 08:27 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

We are doing the planning together. I love to do my research & he is so easy going. If he feels strongly about something, I have no problem letting him have that one & he does the same for me. I think we are looking forward to the wedding, but both realize that it's more than just the one day. We plan on throwing a great party, but celebrating for the rest of our lives.

cbathyy227 Posted: Mar 29, 2009 08:49 PM

Re: Does your FH help???

I do all the research and come up with the possibilities and he gives his input from there. I'm usually the one who plans everything so it's no surprise that I'm in the driver's seat as far as the wedding is concerned. He comes to any appointments but again, they are appointments that I have set up. I don't mind, I enjoy planning. I'm very particular so it works out for us. Good luck. :)

BrooklynGroomzilla Posted: Mar 30, 2009 09:33 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

Look at my name. It'll tell you how much I am involved.

My FW is along for the ride. She accompanies me to the appointments but she basically just hangs back and pipes in when something might catch her interest. At least she's picking out her own dress and stuff!

Don't get me wrong, she's very enthusiastic about the wedding. She watches all these wedding shows all the time. She just hates organizing stuff. It puts her right to

MrsSoto Posted: Mar 30, 2009 09:58 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

Posted by grkbarbie

he has his opinions, but i preffer to do everythign myself. i boked the hall and then took him to see it lollll

he trusts me and we both have the same taste..esp after living together for over 3 yrs. so i dont care. he is sooo into making a monogram though. and he'll go to anything that involves food. other htan that.. its all on me. i like it that way

I am so with you on this one! I really like doing it by myself. If I am dead set on something...he can tell and usually agress because our taste is very very similar so I know if he will like something as well. He puts his input in and if he feels strongly about something will let me know. Other than that, Im a one woman show and love it!

lori7570 Posted: Mar 30, 2009 11:02 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

FH is involved just enough. I set up the appts, and when he goes he asks questions and gives his opinions. He asks me about things when they pop into his mind, but not to the point when it's overwhelming. He is taking care of booking the HM.

beebs341 Posted: Mar 30, 2009 11:05 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

FH was involved for like the first 20 minutes then he got over it REAL quick. IMO I think its better that way, because now I can do things the way I want to do them. Whatever you do, don't try to make him be involved - they just won't budge!

AdriandSteve Posted: Mar 30, 2009 11:13 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

My FH is like that too...

The problem is.. either he's not involved at all or overly involved and basically takes over lol.

Try to get ur FH interested in things that he might be interested in anyway....

My FH likes photography so i let him take the lead with picking out photographers.
Some FH's might be able to take a big role in picking out the DJ also and any additions with that such as lights, plasma's etc.
Limo's are a big thing i think FH's can get involved in.

emc282rjm Posted: Mar 30, 2009 11:16 AM

Re: Does your FH help???

I do all of the research and then he comes with me to appointments and helps to make final decisions. Which is nice because I do get his input. It stinks that I have to do all of the research by myself, and then he complains I'm not doing it fast enough!