Months ago, my MOH told me that she wanted to do a toast at the wedding. I was fine with it -- I've seen it done at other weddings, and I think it's nice...
My plan was to have the BM toast us first, then the MOH...
Well, the BM found out about the MOH's toast, and is all like 'That's unheard of...' and he's annoyed... He's kinda half joking about it, but I think part of him is ****ed...
Should I make the MOH go first? I think his issue is he's going to be 'upstaged'... Should she do her toast later in the night?
Or should I ignore him?
FH thinks it's hilarious that BM is annoyed, and wants to keep it as is, because he thinks BM is being a big ol' baby (which is true)... But my mom was all 'the BM does the toast -- it's not right for the MOH to go after him....' But she's stuck in a time warp...
Opinions please? What have you guys seen at weddings? What are you doing?
Betty
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
He is kind of being a baby
We had the BM give his speech first and then MOH
jennbaby
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
Its YOUR day, not his!
regina2
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
Dont think it matters - it is what you want to do.
Maribelle7777
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
Maybe she can do her toast later after the main meal (or around the time the bride/dad or groom/mom dance). That way there's distance between the speeches. I would have BM do his when they are usually done at the start of the reception.
And it's not 'unheard of'.....but I think it's done in other regions more than in the NY/LI region. I've read it in numerous wedding books that it's done.
coldfeetgirl
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
he should be honored he is doing a speech and not be judgemental...I think the decision is completely up to your fi and u and also think that having a MOH toast is not unheard of...pretty standard these days....
MelTodd604
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
Well I would let the BM make his toast first, cause thats the right thing to do.....then later on maybe before the cake I would have the MOH make a toast. JMO
AtticaQT
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
Of all the weddings that I have been to - the best man and the maid of honor always give toasts one after another-
He is seriously being a baby - tell him it is your wedding and you and your FH are the center of attention - the toast is for you guys - not for him!
JimmysBride
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
I don't see what the big deal is... At the last wedding I went to (last month) the MOH made her speech right after the BM and, yeah, hers was better and she kind of 'upstaged' him (I guess) but nobody really cared. I would separate the speeches by at least 1/2 hour just to avoid the drama.
Kelly9904
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
Another option is for the MOH to give the toast at the RD and the BM at the wedding. I did this when I was MOH in may and it worked out really well! But its really up to you and your FH. The BM probably feels slighted that the MOH speech may be better or whatever...we all know that some men can be such babies!
KathleenG
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
Wow-sounds like he may have issues!! Seriously, it is YOUR decision what you want, not his, period!!!
Nora101004
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
Flip a coin. I went first as MOH at my sis's wedding b/c she gave me the choice. Do whatever you want.
Lisa Rose
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
My MOH did her speak first then our BM did his and everyone thought that they were both fantastic!!
smooch
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
it's no big deal. i guess your BM hasn't been to a wedding in a while. MOHs give toasts all the time!
at our wedding, the BM went, immediately followed by my sister, the MOH.
later in the evening, my two best friends gave their own little toast.
I have been to many weddings where the MOH has a speech...thank goodness my sister gave me the choice...as I did her...and neither of us did one...
but I would let him go last...just to appease him...
Scoop
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
if it really bothers him...maybe your moh can make the speech later in the evening.
Jordan
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
sounds like your BM has some issues! it's been the norm at the wedding's i've been to lately (past 6 years or so). i gave one at my sister's wedding (as their MOH) and then their BM gave one right after me. i don't see why it has to be a seperate thing - i also don't see one as being more of the 'right thing to do'. it's your choice, not your BMs.
LisaT
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
at our wedding, our MOHs (my two sisters) gave a speech together and then the BM. No one was the least bit concerned about upstaging!
Terrier412
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
Thank you so much ladies!!! I think I will have her do it later in the evening...
EvenEdan
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Re: Drama re: MOH/BM toast! Advice please!
I did a toast at V&S03's wedding, then the BM gave one right after me. That way he is still the main event and I was more of the opening act. Although, I was fabulous and a tough act to follow.
