Engagment Parties

MRSJLK Posted: Apr 14, 2004 09:59 AM

Engagment Parties

How does everyone feel about Engagment Parties???

jfabbride Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:01 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

We didn't have one because my mom and dad hate each other and it's a struggle just to get them to go to the wedding!!! :)

But, I think they're OK..2 of my friends had them and it was a great opportunity for the bridal parties to get together and both sides of the famlies to meet each other. Plus, we had a great time!!!

marymoon Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:02 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

I think they're cute. It's definitely something to celebrate. If our families could afford it, we'd have one! My parents were gonna throw us a small dinner for immediate family only, but I don't know if they can afford it. maybe we'll eventually have one!

What are your reservations about it? I think party=good idea!

darly Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:04 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

I had one and FH thought it wasn't a good idea...but we had an open house at my parents.
It was alot of fun and everyone could come and go when they wanted so they didn't have to fell obligated to stay all day!

suven Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:09 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

I had one. My mom hosted it at a hotel because a family member works there and got us a good deal.

It was nice because my father is remarried and his wife's family was able to meet my mom's family. And, the bridal party all got to meet.

We had a two year engagement, so our party was in July 2002. My bridal shower was a couple of weeks ago and it was really fun because everyone already knew each other from the engagement party!

KarenB Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:11 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

I am only in favor of them if you say 'Your presence is presents enough.' A lot of people feel people have them to receive gifts and money. Not to say this is true, but it is some people's perception. I do not like to feel obligated to give engagement presents and I feel parties do obligate people.

september2004 Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:11 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

i have always found them strange, just another way to collect gifts...

bridzilla Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:14 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

Posted by september2004

i have always found them strange, just another way to collect gifts...

That's why I wanted to have one. But no one wanted to throw me one.

darly Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:16 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

i guess everyone is entitled...i think the fashion used to be that people had them to get gifts to start their home...but since I lived in Manhattan for about 10 yrs. there was nothing left to get me!!

we had the party basically to send my dad off for surgery (the party was the day before) and for everyone to get together...
to wish him well!

the fh thought the party was great and everyone called the next day - i guess it's what you make it...

at 34 i never thought i would get married! so i wanted to celebrate!!

nj42305 Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:17 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

I'm happy to read this post because I have been wondering about an E-party as well. FH and I have been engaged for over a year and my mom would like to give us an e-party sometime in early summer. At first, I was opposed feeling like I've been engaged for so long already. However, I've started to have a change of heart and am now leaning towards the e-party idea. I think it will be a great opportunity for our families and the BP to all meet. What do you girls think? Is it ok to have an e-party at this point?

darly Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:21 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

why not??
do something less-formal
everyone call mill around eating and talking and reconnecting...sometimes I feel like our lives are so busy that it's great to have a day just to get everyone together...it's not just about gifts!

KarenB Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:22 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

NJ: I think if you want to have an E party it isn't too late. Again, my issue w/ E parties is the gift part. In my opinion, if you let people know you want to celebrate and no gift is wanted than I think it is a great idea. Many people, including myself, view E parties as that people want gifts. I never liked attending E parties, so I didn't have one. Now, if someone would have made it clear they wanted to celebrate not collect, my attitude would be different. Also, if you are the type to always throw a party, I would view it differently too.

Ang&Rich Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:25 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

I have mixed feelings about engagement parties. I think they are a fun way for families to meet each other and to celebrate the good news but on the other hand I think it's a lot to ask these same people to bring a gift for the engagement party, bring a gift for the shower and then a gift for the wedding. It can be too much sometimes.

JMO - please don't take this personally if you had one or you like the idea. I just got invited to one and the invite mentioned where they were registered meanwhile I was told this was going to be an informal dinner. So I may be biased right now.

MRSJLK Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:30 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

I feel the same way as some of you do about the gift giving part...that is why I am hesitant about having one. I don't want people to feel like they have to bring us a gift...we really just want to have a very informal BBQ with our closest friends and family...no gifts....just a gathering for people to get to know each other.....but I wasn't sure if that was odd...but I guess it is not...thanks!

KarenB Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:33 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

Also, my FI had 2 friends get engaged plus FH and I. All around the same time. 2 of them had e parties. One we attended and gave a gift. The other we didn't attend and sent a gift. NOW, we didn't even receive a card for our engagement. I found this extremely rude. Just needed to vent about that. Does anyone think I am wrong to be offended and not even receiving a card from these people for our engagement. I don't mean with any type of gift, just a simple card.

september2004 Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:33 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

Posted by Ang&Rich

I have mixed feelings about engagement parties. I think they are a fun way for families to meet each other and to celebrate the good news but on the other hand I think it's a lot to ask these same people to bring a gift for the engagement party, bring a gift for the shower and then a gift for the wedding. It can be too much sometimes.

i feel the same way...

i am actually telling people not to bring gifts to a shower (if i even have one, currently the logistics are proving to be a nightmare) as i find the whole damn thing so uncomfortable. i envision a bridal brunch at my godmother's house where we just spend an afternoon eating, bsing, and just catching up!

darly Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:35 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

I would put on the invite please no gifts...
If that makes you feel more comfortable...

I am not having a shower - this way I don't have to worry about people feeling obligated...
My friend had a ladies tea for her shower at her mom's which was really nice -
no gifts...

August2004 Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:37 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

personally, we did not have one because I really think it gets to be to much between the bridal shower, an engagement party and the wedding.

My friend got engaged and married within a year and had an engagement party. It is to much and people at my table were talking about it and how expensive it is. If your just have an informal meet and greet with the families, that's one thing, but most engagament parties turn out to be something else.

belle22274 Posted: Apr 14, 2004 10:39 AM

Re: Engagment Parties

We're having one this September. Primarily because we've only been together 10 months and the familes and friends, for the most part, have never met. Although we are having it at a 'catering facility', it's on the beach and we're making every effort to make it casual and relaxed. Plus it's on September 11th, so we're trying to find a creative way to mention that not only do we not want gifts, but that those who feel the need to do something, make a donation to a 9/11 fund.