Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
happytobeabride
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Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
And out of town guests feel that it is more appropriate to give a gift? My FH and I have debated this one. He feels that it is up to the guests to decide. Although, he is very right and that truly is not what the day is about, honestly, I expect to receive most of the essential gifts at my shower. I do not want to be adding items on to the registry just because. Although, I appreciate generosity in ANY form, a Lennox vase will not help us put a down payment on a house.
jilmadison
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
I agree, I expect to get the gifts at the shower, and money at the wedding. I think that is definitely the norm in NY
suven
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
Neither will 3 Lenox vases. 2 of which will probably stay in your closet, like mine.
happytobeabride
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
Forgot to mention that FH never heard of the term 'covering the cost of your plate' in regards to gifts.
ShortBride
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My friend who just got married in Rcohester upstate thinks its strange to give money! We already live together and between the two of us, have too much stuff... I also am hoping for money gifts, although I will of course appreciate any gift!
mooncusp22
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
It is totally a regional thing... I live in FL but am from LI... I also post on the knot boards & asked a question on my local FL board about something to do with gifts. I posted the NY rule of thumb of 'covering your plate'---I got bashed for it!! People saying that checks are so inpersonal...and the wedding is not about how much money your get back, etc etc..... You NYer's are the only ones who understnad
curliegirl
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
I think it's more of a LI thing. Where I am getting married upstate they wanted to set up a gift table, I told her we won't be needing it.....
happytobeabride
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
Is there any tactful way to suggest, without offending anyone?
happytobeabride
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It has more to do with practicality than anything.
JenNeen
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Cash works for me!
mccarm
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I don't know of a tactful way but we're planning on making our registry appear as though most of the items have been purchased and so people end up giving money b/c they can't find anything they like.
Another thing some people do is register at BB&B (I think) because they will give you cash back...
mka06
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
I don't know... if there isn't stuff left on your registry -- that may be enough to send a signal subtly that you are looking for money. Also, you could consider a honeymoon registry for those that you think would rather purchase something. They know they are giving you something tangible, but they really are just giving you $. And, then you and FH can put money you wuold have spent away in the bank.
It is definitely a NY thing. I live in MD and people don't use the same philosophy. I still use the cover your plate philosopy down here (mom ingrained it in my head!) and know I give wedding gifts larger than most of my friends. I also fully expect to get gifts or money potentially not even covering the cost of one plate, much less two, from some of these people when our wedding rolls around!
mka06
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
mccarm is right -- one of my friends told me the BB&B trick recently! She said to definitely have that store on your registry for that reason.
Summer05
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
Posted by mccarm
I don't know of a tactful way but we're planning on making our registry appear as though most of the items have been purchased and so people end up giving money b/c they can't find anything they like.
QUOTE]
Be careful with that... some people feel the need to give gifts and if they cannot find anything on your registry they will come up with their own!
BHW
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mccarm
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Some people are determined to give you random crap - maybe they think they know you better than you know yourself!
As long as it comes with a gift receipt, I guess I'll manage... Here's hoping for no DIY gifts!
coxmandi
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
Posted by mccarm
Some people are determined to give you random crap - maybe they think they know you better than you know yourself!
As long as it comes with a gift receipt, I guess I'll manage... Here's hoping for no DIY gifts!
DIY gifts can be amazingly personal and wonderful. Recently married friends loved some personal DIY gifts. They got photo albums, scrapbooks, and a DVD with videos that their videographer wouldn't have captured.
coxmandi
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
Posted by happytobeabride
Is there any tactful way to suggest, without offending anyone?
Weddings DO NOT = FUNDRASIER for the bride and groom. Don't suggest to your guests that is what you want. Be gracious, take what you get and be happy you had a day surrounded by your friends and family.
carlsbride
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
I view our registry as a suggested list of items that me and FI either need or would like. There is no etiquette rule (that I know of) that requires a guest to buy from it.
We are not planning a wedding that will require us to go into debt, we can pay cash for it all. I would be more upset if my friends and family didn't come to the wedding than if they didn't give us enough as a gift. If we get gifts, that is wonderful, if not-we will be ok. To each his own.
jimmysgrl
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Re: Ever notice that New Yorkers are most likely to give money for gifts?
Posted by happytobeabride
Is there any tactful way to suggest, without offending anyone?
