FBIL will suffer if this goes down (bach. party)

So FH forwarded an email between a friend and himself with the following in it:

bachelor party will be, i believe, june 10. my brother is organizing it, it will be at a hotel in suffolk.

this was my response and his:
(on aol)
ME-there will be NO bachelor party in a hotel room unless you guys are playing xbox all night. if you want strippers i have to insist that it be at a strip club.
ME- that is my only request
ME-i just can't get around the stripper in a hotel room...that is way too freaky...and too dangerous for all involved
FH-it is already paid for -- just stop. if you think i am doing something there, we should not be getting married
ME- no, i am only making one request and that is that there be no ho's in a hotel room
ME- that is really a very fair request.
ME-do you realize that in the privacy of a hotel room they can do anything they wish????? anything.
FH-just stop
me- this isn't negotiable.
FH-stop it right now
FH-if i said we were having it at the empire state building, you would go off about that
me-NO, THAT'S IN PUBLIC
me-THERE WOULD BE RULES
FH-he's a cop


well big deal?? he'll be drunk like the rest of you....honestly, i've made one request all along...in a strip club, no touching, no hotels. is that sooo hard????

I would FREAK OUT... No way no way no way....

Its not a matter of 'trust' for me, I dont think that my FH would sleep with a stripper, I just hate the idea of a nasty naked lady rubbing her body all over my FH.

I really wouldn't worry....the strippers come to the house with body guards....and most of them are skanky looking...FH had strippers come to the house for his friends bachelor party and he said they were skanky and the strip club was better....

He loves you and you have to trust that he won't do anything.

I would freak out too.

That sounds exactly like an im convo that FH and I would have...especially the 'just stop' - FH always says that

i don't really have a problem with the guys with a stripper in a hotel room--i agree with your FH--you have to trust him...i mean not all strippers are gonna gave 'happy endings' or anything just cause it's a hotel. but that's just me, strippers don't bother me in the least.

BUT i would remind our FH that with all the stuff going on in the media about the stripper at Duke--i wouldn't want to risk anything being misconstrued if you have a stripper in a hotel room with lots of guys. you just never know what might happen that night or the next day (like the stripper could say stuff happened--whether it did or didn't)

Eewwww Stripper in a hotel room.
I gotta agree with you. No way jose!!!

I don't think your request is unreasonable.

This is Just my opinion. There is no right or wrong here.....

I am very open minded and even went to strip clubs with Fh and his friends. I have no problem with it and enjoyed it myself. With that being said, I would not like the idea of a hotel room. It is WAY to personal and would just freak me out. If that means there is something wrong with me..so let it be! FH would not be down for me doing that so it would be a No Go, for me. Paid for or not!

If my Fh would be willing to compromise our relationship and our wedding to have his BP at a hotel with a stripper, then we would have a way bigger problem.

it's really to protect them also- think about it- she can make false allegations about them

and it's her word againt there's


however- I am pretty such most legit - if there is such a thing- strippers travel with bouncers- I would be more freaked out if one showed up alone

I think theres a little trust issue here...I think you should trust him and let him just have fun...did something maybe happen in the past that puts you so on edge about this type of situation???

ETA: And I think if he was to do something, he would do it whether it was in a hotel room or someplace else...

I wouldn't worry about it. Honestly, if you trust him then there's no reason why there should be a problem. I can understand why you would prefer it to be in a strip club, but if he's already made the arrangements then I think you just have to trust him and let him have a good (but not too good ) time.

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Posted by laural2979

I wouldn't worry about it. Honestly, if you trust him then there's no reason why there should be a problem. I can understand why you would prefer it to be in a strip club, but if he's already made the arrangements then I think you just have to trust him and let him have a good (but not too good ) time.

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Agree. are you worried because his friends are shady?

I trust him, I do not trust nasty strippers. sorry if there are any strippers getting married on this site...but i think your profession is dispicable. I don't really like the idea of strippers, but it's a bachelor party....just go to a strip club at least then i can sleep well knowing there's NO chance of anything going wrong at all...a stripper saying something happening that didnt', a stripper touching him in a way that just shouldn't be done.....things like that and his brother the cop, well he's the biggest chauvinstic pig (sp??) ever and i certainly don't feel assured that his drunk brother can keep things in check should things go astray.


now he's trying to covince me that the hotel room is for sleeping....30+ guys in one room???? DOUBTFUL. I'm sorry, but hotel room has to go.

now that I think about my DH had one in his room in AC for his bach party

it was fine- she was GROSS and came with a bouncer

it sounds like a better idea then it is-

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Posted by vixchik

I trust him, I do not trust nasty strippers. sorry if there are any strippers getting married on this site...but i think your profession is dispicable. I don't really like the idea of strippers, but it's a bachelor party....just go to a strip club at least then i can sleep well knowing there's NO chance of anything going wrong at all...a stripper saying something happening that didnt', a stripper touching him in a way that just shouldn't be done.....things like that and his brother the cop, well he's the biggest chauvinstic pig (sp??) ever and i certainly don't feel assured that his drunk brother can keep things in check should things go astray.


now he's trying to covince me that the hotel room is for sleeping....30+ guys in one room???? DOUBTFUL. I'm sorry, but hotel room has to go.

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You're funny...

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Posted by vixchik

I trust him, I do not trust nasty strippers. sorry if there are any strippers getting married on this site...but i think your profession is dispicable.

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why? they are just making money- it's a job

they don't want your husband/boyfreind- they just want to make money

strippers are not hookers- they dance - they entertain- not have sex for money

this whole thing is boiling down to respect...something he is clearly lacking. i respect him enough to NOT allow strippers for my bachelorette party, i think it's very fair to ask that he respect me enough to have this ina strip club.

I figure it's probably better to have it at the hotel anyway. Strip club = unknowns. Hidden rooms, lots more strippers... more booze...

In a hotel room it's a set number of girls for a set amount of time with limited alcohol. There's usually only one bedroom if it's even separate from the main room, and everyone's in one location so the likelihood of anything happening decreases significantly.. Plus those girls are only hired for an hour or two (and they really do cost $$$$ to get them to do private shows). At a regular strip club, he could be there all night long...

I only wish my FH's GMs would have it at a hotel.. knowing my brother... they'll hit every strip club in NY NJ and CT before morning.

And technically he could say he's at a strip club or 'doing the stripper thing' and not tell you about the hotel... so he's being upfront.. I say trust the man..

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Posted by Beth1210

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Posted by vixchik

I trust him, I do not trust nasty strippers. sorry if there are any strippers getting married on this site...but i think your profession is dispicable.

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why? they are just making money- it's a job

they don't want your husband/boyfreind- they just want to make money

strippers are not hookers- they dance - they entertain- not have sex for money

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Exactly MY thoughts! And no I dont strip for a living!

ETA: You have to talk to him and explain to him how this whole situation makes you feel, not order him to not have this bach. party...