FBIL will suffer if this goes down (bach. party)

---

Posted by Sunrise813

My piece of advice is this:

This topic is so controversial on this board. Everyone is always trying to change everyone elses mind. Its so weird.

So don’t let anyone on this site tell you how to feel. There will be people telling you that there is something wrong with your relationship and that it’s a matter of trust if god forbid you don’t want your FH in a private hotel with a stripper, then there will be the other side telling you that they hate stripper and /or strip clubs .

I just think that this is a personal preference or choice if you don’t want your FH in aroom with a stripper, then speak to your FH and resolve it in a manner that makes you both comfortable. Remember NO ONE here has to home with you & your. They just give their two cents worth and go on with their lives, they don’t have to live your life.

You know how you feel trust your instincts. Do what feels right to you. Its your relationship and your marriage. Good luck.

---

Very well said

ok, very touchy subject...here's opinion...so i personally don't like strip clubs. FI is not going to one for his Bach party, he choose to go to AC for the night. being that i obviously wont be there, he promised no strippers or any of that, this was his choice b/c he knows i dont like them. While i am still alittle nervous b/c i know his friends who are going can get wild, i trust Fi and really have no choice but to believe that if he is put in the situation he will make the right choice. and on top of everything else, his brothers keep teasing me about the kind of women they are going to meet, luckily they are both older, married with children and their wifes would have their heads!! What it all comes down to, is trusting him. If I had to choose b/t a strip club and hotel room, def strip club, i have been to one before and while it was skeevy, i think more can happen at a hotel, that being said...

Before FI, i dated a guy who went to a bachelor party somewhere and they had two stripeprs come to them, he said it wasnt a big deal, that yes they had bouncers and that most of the guys just talked and hung out with them, while i dont know if this is true i also want to put your mind at ease, that if you Fi decides to do the hotel thing, it also may not be bad

Good luck :)

I don't blame you for being upset. I would be, too. I don't think anything is going to happen, but I would rather either I NOT know anything about it or they don't do it.

I just have to add a male to female translation:

'STOP' means... I know you're right, but if I tell my friends we can't do this, I will look like a pu$$y.

---

Posted by laural2979

I wouldn't worry about it. Honestly, if you trust him then there's no reason why there should be a problem. I can understand why you would prefer it to be in a strip club, but if he's already made the arrangements then I think you just have to trust him and let him have a good (but not too good ) time.

---

perfectly said, I agree

---

Posted by kittythestray

---

Posted by Sunrise813

My piece of advice is this:

This topic is so controversial on this board. Everyone is always trying to change everyone elses mind. Its so weird.

So don’t let anyone on this site tell you how to feel. There will be people telling you that there is something wrong with your relationship and that it’s a matter of trust if god forbid you don’t want your FH in a private hotel with a stripper, then there will be the other side telling you that they hate stripper and /or strip clubs .

I just think that this is a personal preference or choice if you don’t want your FH in aroom with a stripper, then speak to your FH and resolve it in a manner that makes you both comfortable. Remember NO ONE here has to home with you & your. They just give their two cents worth and go on with their lives, they don’t have to live your life.

You know how you feel trust your instincts. Do what feels right to you. Its your relationship and your marriage. Good luck.

---

Very well said

---

I agree! VERY well said.
For me, FH going to a strip club would bother me and upset me. It bothers some girls and doesnt bother others.
Everyone is different and I think if you really dont want ur FH to go to one, he should respect that.
And vice versa!!!!

Here is my take.

There is something that you don't want him to do. You've told him that you don't want him to do this thing. It's not out of this world request. It's simple.

I don't think anyone on this site should tell you to 'get over it' or anything. Because it's something you believe; it's something you don't agree with. He should respect that and change the plan. Enough said.

Another thing I have to put out there ... I was sooo cool about strip clubs until I got this ring placed on my finger. I sat here for a year dieting, trying to make myself beautiful for March 25th. 3 weeks before my FH goes to Vegas and it was the worst weekend of my life. I am body concious, at my lowest, so worried about looking pretty...and he goes TO VEGAS?

It's not uncommon or crazy for a girl going through planning a wedding to NOT like strip clubs and the idea of them. It's not nuts to not want your husband getting a lapdance in a hotel room while sitting on a bed. It's something you aren't comfortable with and that's ok.

Plain and simple. Tell him to change his plans and that's it.

---

Posted by JeanineHubert

NO way in the hotel room.
I feel that is so personal-and it disgusts me.
I dont want hime ven going to a strip club-so I know exactly how you feel

---

Exactly!

this is the worst.........but imo the boys will do what they are going to do......they may agree and eventually tell you that they arent going to be in the hotel room and they might be anyway......i know this must be hard for you but you should just trust him

---

Posted by babybug631

I have heard horrible stories about hotel rooms and strippers. There is NO justification for what goes on in those situations. I would be FREAKING OUT!!! These girls will do anything for extra money and that's just a fact. I would not let it happen. Has nothing to do with trust, it's called class. Even if FH has no intention of doing anything, you know his friends are going to pressure him, of at least one of his friends will f*** her and then it turns into one of those raunchy bachelor parties that you hear about where everyone watches. NO WAY would I put up with that. JMHO

---

I agree, there is no way in HE!! I would let FH do this. Those girls are out for $$ and will do pretty much whatever it takes to get it. Every woman 'trusts' their man, but I think some girls are very naive and like to keep there eyes closed about certain things. Men + alcohol + private stripper = BIG trouble!!

i wouldnt like that either! i agree, there is NO reason to have a stripper(s) in such a private setting! hey look at the DUKE lacross players.. they are all screwed for a possible few who might have done something...

to me it is not a trust issue, it is just not necessary!

---

Posted by TheBigDay

i wouldnt like that either! i agree, there is NO reason to have a stripper(s) in such a private setting! hey look at the DUKE lacross players.. they are all screwed for a possible few who might have done something...

to me it is not a trust issue, it is just not necessary!

---

exactly.

I dont like my fh going to strip clubs cuz i went to a strip club twice and i thought alot of the strippers were hot and i am jealous. yup that is right i am jealous. they have pretty nice bodies especially the boobs and they can swing around on a pole and they give the illusion of being able to perform alot of sexual acts that i am either too shy or physically incapable of performing. i dont want fh coming home to me expecting me to look like that/act like that.

i think your fh feels like he has to go along with his friends' plans and does not want to be a party pooper, especially when they are all getting together for him.

tough situation

---

Posted by Sunrise813

My piece of advice is this:

This topic is so controversial on this board. Everyone is always trying to change everyone elses mind. Its so weird.

So don’t let anyone on this site tell you how to feel. There will be people telling you that there is something wrong with your relationship and that it’s a matter of trust if god forbid you don’t want your FH in a private hotel with a stripper, then there will be the other side telling you that they hate stripper and /or strip clubs .

I just think that this is a personal preference or choice if you don’t want your FH in aroom with a stripper, then speak to your FH and resolve it in a manner that makes you both comfortable. Remember NO ONE here has to home with you & your. They just give their two cents worth and go on with their lives, they don’t have to live your life.

You know how you feel trust your instincts. Do what feels right to you. Its your relationship and your marriage. Good luck.

---

This is so true! If something bothers YOU enough to feel uncomfortable, then I'm sorry, but your FH should be supportive, the same way he would want you to hear him out if you were about to do something that would freak him out.

There are women that are cool with their bf's going to hotels, and even strip clubs, and more power to them! But that's not for me, and I'm not cool with that. If something bothers you, you not only need to 'trust' that he won't fool around with them, but you need to 'trust' that he loves you enough to compromise or talk through things with you. The whole 'oh stop' response doesn't show an effort on his part to think of you, the future marriage, and evinces only selfishness. What's worth more, your fiancee's peace of mind, or a $200.00 hotel room? Give me a break.

i agree with you 110%!!!! a strip club is do-able, but i'd put my foot down on the whole hotel room thing! just the thought makes me angry and uncomfortable at the same time!!!!

My FH's guys are joking that they are going to rent a party bus with stripper poles and take it down to AC...over my dead body!!!! This is not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride!!!!

---

Posted by clarity

I see his point, and I thikn you should trust him, hotel room or not. jmo,

---

I agree with clarity. Here is why. The stripper isn't going to want to sleep with your FH. She isn't going to steal him away either. She is there to do a job. She wants money, and thats it. The Bachlor party is an excerise in trust. I know its hard, BUT you have to be able to trust him no less than a 100%. My FH BM is taking him to Canada for his Bacholar party and although I'm not happy that he'll be away, I'm aware that the Bacholar party is for my FH and I have to trust him. I'm going to miss him more than anything. But I know hes coming home. I know hes not going to do anything that would upset me. This is the man I'm marrying and I honestly am not even worried about it. (except for missing him!) What I suggest honestly is to put your faith in your FH. If he is worth marrying, then you have nothing to worry about. Please try not to let this upset you.

---

Posted by vixchik

So FH forwarded an email between a friend and himself with the following in it:

bachelor party will be, i believe, june 10. my brother is organizing it, it will be at a hotel in suffolk.

this was my response and his:
(on aol)
ME-there will be NO bachelor party in a hotel room unless you guys are playing xbox all night. if you want strippers i have to insist that it be at a strip club.
ME- that is my only request
ME-i just can't get around the stripper in a hotel room...that is way too freaky...and too dangerous for all involved
FH-it is already paid for -- just stop. if you think i am doing something there, we should not be getting married
ME- no, i am only making one request and that is that there be no ho's in a hotel room
ME- that is really a very fair request.
ME-do you realize that in the privacy of a hotel room they can do anything they wish????? anything.
FH-just stop
me- this isn't negotiable.
FH-stop it right now
FH-if i said we were having it at the empire state building, you would go off about that
me-NO, THAT'S IN PUBLIC
me-THERE WOULD BE RULES
FH-he's a cop


well big deal?? he'll be drunk like the rest of you....honestly, i've made one request all along...in a strip club, no touching, no hotels. is that sooo hard????

---

Seriously you have to trust him.. you are marrying him.

Also he will appreciate and love you more and be more inclined not to do anything disrespectful to you if you do not give him a hard time...saying have fun honey you deserve it ,as much as it bothers you will make a huge differance in yoiur relationship..

I planned a surprise bachelor party in vegas for my FH.. he found out because of one of his friends. .. and let me tell you i overheard him talking to his friend how lucky he was that he is marrying someone who trusts him..and was going on and on about how great i am ....It made me feel good..but i really trust him and wanted to do something nice for him.. I went to Vegas plenty of times and he never did.

Instead of worrying about his bachelor party.. worry about yours and what you are going to do to have fun.. plan it the same night as his. AND HAVE FUN!!