FH is a jerk (UPDATED)

Original post by jteach711

Dec 08, 2007 12:30 PM

I have been growing my hair for almost 2 years. It is sooooo long and although it looks beautiful it is a pain in my assss.

So I decided that I would chop it the day after the wedding so I dod not have to be bothered with it on the honeymoon. Here is the cut I really want.

Well last night I brought it up again to fh and he said 'Please DO NOT cut your hair, I really love it long and I don't like short hair on girls.'

I tried explaining what an inconvenience it is for me with all this hair, but he kept just saying 'Do not cut it'

Now what, should I do what I want or think about how he feels, what would all you women do?

******************************************************
Update: I sat FH down and explained how fed up I was getting with my hair and how I really want to donate it after the wedding. I also showed him the pic of the haircut I want and explained that my hair groows really fast. I also told him how it bothered me that he told me not to do it.

Well, he finally said that he doesn't really care and that I should do whatever I want and he is sure any haircut I get will look great.

ChristineAaron08 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 01:52 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

You can compromise and keep more length in the back and keep the shorter choppy layers in the front and up top.

jjk1007 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 01:52 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

Posted by jteach711

I have been growing my hair for almost 2 years. It is sooooo long and although it looks beautiful it is a pain in my assss.

So I decided that I would chop it the day after the wedding so I dod not have to be bothered with it on the honeymoon. Here is the cut I really want.

Well last night I brought it up again to fh and he said 'Please DO NOT cut your hair, I really love it long and I don't like short hair on girls.'

I tried explaining what an inconvenience it is for me with all this hair, but he kept just saying 'Do not cut it'

Now what, should I do what I want or think about how he feels, what would all you women do?

This is like dejavu (sp?) for me. I was in the exact same situation. My hair was really really long and I couldn't wait to cut it after the wedding. I made the appt for a couple of days after the wedding, but before our HM because I wanted it all to be gone for the HM. I told DH my plans and he was so upset that I was planning to cut it all off. He said the exact same thing your FH did, about not liking girls with short hair and looking so good with it long. I told him I was cutting it shorter no matter what, and I asked him what's the shortest he could deal with? He showed me on my back which was fine, and then I went a little bit shorter. He didn't even notice.
So the moral of my long winded story is, just compromise with him. Ask him how short he would be comfortable with and see what you guys can come up with. I was just gonna cut it all off and say 'F dh's opinion' because honestly, they don't understand what its like to take care of long hair! But I spoke to my Mom about it and she told me 'you don't want to start off your marriage fighting, just come up with a compromise' and that's exactly what we did. GOOD LUCK!!

2007 Crescent Bride Posted: Dec 08, 2007 01:57 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

I feel your pain! My FH doesn't want me to cut my hair either. So I am growing it for the wedding. It's the least I can do for him. He is a wonderful man. I asked him if I could chop it after the wedding and he said sure you can get a trim!! haha

LnF0405 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 01:59 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

The only thing that my FH ever ask me not to do is to cut my hair to short, he said my hair was the 1st thing that attract him of me... But everytime I complain that i dont have time to do my hair b/c is long and it would be easy if is shorter he give me a sign check and send me to the hair salon (I usually add to the bill mani and pedi) so it work for me...

BoxOfRocks Posted: Dec 08, 2007 02:04 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

I understand how you want to appear attractive to FH, but it's your hair, your body, and you're the one caring for it. Cut it the way you want. The photo you showed wasn't even that short!

Posted by hannahshim

my FH only like long straight black hair...
my FH is worse.... he wont let me do anything we fight when I tell him I need a haircut.. he complains if i cut my hair to my bra strap!! soo annoying!!! we use to fight alot because I wanted to try something different.. (a perm, highlights,bangs... etc) I just gave up..

I really want BANGS (like chantal in ANTM) but he wont let me...... SOOO ANNOYING!!

in my avatar pic I cut my hair mid lenght and he wouldnt talk to me for like a week!!

I find this extremely troublesome. He wouldn't speak to you because you cut your hair? He won't 'let' you make normal changes in your appearance?

Smiley7092 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 03:39 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

I think this is DEF a guy thing. They just seem to love long hair for some reason. I LOVE LOVE that picture that you want to do though!!!! It looks awesome! I love short hair, I've gone even shorter than that picture and FH says he doesn't really like short hair but it is MY hair and I will do it like I like! He doens't make a big deal about it though. He just says he likes it longer. I'm also trying to grow it out a little bit for the wedding, basically I'm going to keep it as short as I can and still be able to do an updo! Good luck!

binx214 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 03:41 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

i go through the same thing with FH my hair is all the way downt to my waist and i go through my moods where i want to cut it all off and he tells me know he loves it long and im just like well help me brish my knots out then lol

SoontobeMrsH Posted: Dec 08, 2007 03:44 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

Hmmn Tough call I've almost always has long hair. When FH & I started dating I said In conversation that I was cutting it, his responce was really? Well I did. i went from having hair down to my tailbone to my having it Chin length. I found it was harder to manage b/c theit were less options. I also hated it. I felt un-sexy. I thought it would be a liberating cut, and not having to spend an hour blowing it out would be great, I didn;t realize how my hair impacted my own self image.

HTH

bluegreen08 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 03:57 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

I just asked FH what he would think if I wanted to cut my hair to chin length (I posted a pic of my current hair on the first page of the thread).

He said I should do whatever I want and he is sure it will look great no matter what... as long as I don't shave it.

He said there's plenty of time to have really really short hair when I'm OLD

My hair has been past my shoulders since 4th grade and I look awful with super short hair, but I'm always impressed by those who can pull it off!

kimnsteve Posted: Dec 08, 2007 03:59 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

my FH is the same way ...he only likes long hair ...but most of the time i like it too

jteach711 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 04:26 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

Thanks girls for all your responses. I think I am going to wait a bit and then discuss it again with him and explain all the things that you girls mentioned. I'll keep ya updated. Thanks a bunch

FutureMrsLehmann Posted: Dec 08, 2007 05:14 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

Posted by hannahshim
in my avatar pic I cut my hair mid lenght and he wouldnt talk to me for like a week!!

wow that's pretty controlling of him isn't it? it's your hair, you shouldn't give up control over to him that easily (IMO)! I would just cut it, and if he can't deal with it, then he's got big vanity issues that he needs to work out on his own.

fl2008 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 06:16 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

he says that now and then when u do it he will love it. ive had blonde hair brown hair higlighted shoulder length and now real long. each and every time i asked fh how he likes it the most and its always the way i have it when i ask him lol. he loves long hair too, and its not that much of a pain, u just put it in a pony. i have angles and a long bang off to the side. i curl it, straighten it, do the poof on top. u could do different looks.

but bottom line u want to cut it, do it, suprise him and get a new outfit, and wear something new under it. im sure hell love the change and the new you!!!1

MikeandJess Posted: Dec 08, 2007 06:20 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

FH is the same way! He hates short hair. I'm doing it anyway. It's my hair, not his

ant n tilde Posted: Dec 08, 2007 06:23 PM

Re: FH is a jerk

this is a tough one
i know i am supposed to say 'do what YOU want to do' and all that but honestly, FH only likes long hair and i wont cut my hair for that reason. . . i figure, he is the only person i really want to find me attractive and since that is the only thing he has ever given his opinion on (LOL) i might as well just go along with it!

GL with your decision!

beachbum05 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 07:59 PM

Re: FH is a jerk (UPDATED)

YAYYYYYY! I'm glad he's ok with it.

Snowflake08 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 09:03 PM

Re: FH is a jerk (UPDATED)

personally i dont like short hair and sometimes i get upset even when FH cuts his too short and i get upset that he doesnt take my feelings into consideration so - i try to take his into consideration when thinking of doing something with mine

hope that makes sense

i wouldnt cut it if i were you
mine grows SO slow i wish it was longer like it used to be

Toucan311 Posted: Dec 08, 2007 10:56 PM

Re: FH is a jerk (UPDATED)

I have almost that EXACT hair cut, and I've regretted it every day since I got it. It might LOOK easy, but its TONS of work to get it to look choppy and nice like that. Plus, when you get it cut that short there's no more throwing it up in a pony tail.