Ok girls this may be long so thanks in advance to those who take the time to read it! FH has many Aunts and Uncles but only one he is extremely close with. Originally when we got engaged this particular Uncle was sooo excited for us and was already speaking of reserving a room and looking forward to our wedding day. Well in June FH sent this Uncle an email confirming that he was definitely attending because we wanted him to do a reading during the ceremony. Well we know he received the email since he spoke to his sister (FH's Mom) about the email. HE HAS YET TO RESPOND! Three months later....
So fast forward to last night. FH sent another email to his Uncle asking him why he never responded and felt we were being disrespected and ignored after honoring him by asking him to be part of our wedding ceremony. Jordan(FH) explained that we were both very hurt that he couldn't even email us back and say 'I don't know' or 'no' or 'yes' or 'can I think about it?' WE GOT NOTHING.
So at the end of email FH said we love you very much and pray you will be able to be a part of our ceremony. So this Uncle writes back about 20 mins later and this is what he says:
' I was not ignoring you. I didn't reply because frankly, I don't know what to say. I understand you have to start planning your ceremony and printing your programs. I decline to do a reading and I decline to attend.' Then he signed his name. No I'm sorry. No I love you. No explanation...nothing.
I felt so bad FH immediately started crying. FH doesn't have his biological father in his life so this Uncle was very much like a father to him. Why would he do this? We are so hurt and so confused. I felt awful for FH last night. He keeps saying none of my family is going to be there....what should we do???? Any advice would be appreciated.
Utterhappiness
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
Wow! I am so sorry that this is happeniing to you and FH
Please keep us updated on this... I cant understand why they cant put it aside for one day ( if its the gay thing) and just be happy for you guys... again Im so sorry
Jsquared279
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Thanks everyone! I will def keep you all posted!!
Autumnbride03
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
very strange..I would cut off the emails and have FH try to meet with him in person. Maybe things got miscontrued. His uncle should at least give an explanation!!
Autumnbride03
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
and i'm sorry... he should not have written that on your wedding website. I can't stand when some people are so obnoxious. I understand that he may be upset and hurting about the situation, but why should he make YOU uncomfortable?? Grrr, that rubs me the wrong way.
Is he usually obnoxious like that with the family? Or laid back? If so, maybe this is him acting like a 2 year old, not wanting to see others get married when he can't have that himself?
I don't know, I am just guessing here.
angels914
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All I can say is so sorry that you and FH are going through this now !!!!!!!! Good Luck ... just keep an open mind about this and let him explain and see what happens... but you need to do this so it does not kill both of you inside !!!!!!! I think I would ask FMIL to do it ASAP !!!!!!!!!!!! You guys need to know about this !!!!!!!!!! Please keep us all posted !!!!!!!!!!!!! Give FH a big hug and kiss from all your LIW girls !!!!!!!!!!!
ddnsp618
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
wow i wonder why he did this...im so sorry for your FH, what does FHs mom say?
erika99
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
Sorry you guys are going through this.
That's very strange . Did something happen between the time you guys got engaged and now? I just don't understand why his uncle would react that way.. Was he expecting to be more involved in the wedding. I had something similar happen to me. My aunt, who's like my mom, was hurt when I didn't ask her to be my MOH.
I think FH should call him. He deserves an explanation.
MrsZtoBe
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
Since none of this makes sense, I will throw out one more nonsensical thing...
Could he have a problem with you two not getting married in a church if he is very religious? Could it be something to do with that? My grandma is like that...
*Hugs* and keep up posted...
shell1879
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
is it possible someone else hacked into his email and sent it?
i know people that have done that kind of thing to me and it's hard to explain whty hurtfull things were said even though they weren't from me
jennaandguy09
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
First of all, I am so sorry you and FH are having to go through this. It seems like such a strange thing, so out of the blue, and like why after fh emailed him months ago would it take this long to get a response like that. If he didn't want to do the reading he really should have called FH and told him personally, not through a guest book or an email, to me thats completely disrespectful to both of you, as you both opened your hearts and asked him to be part of the wedding. It's so hard to give advice on something that is just so strange, I think If I were you I would try to not call the uncle, it seems like its something between them and as much as you want answers I would hold off, see what FMIL can do and give the Uncle in question some time to cool off. Hope you both are okay, sending hugs your way!!!!
dazey
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
poor fh... it sounds like something happened that you guys don't even realize. maybe a comment or a gesture that was harmless was misunderstood, otherwise there's really no explanation!! i think that if your fmil is non confrontational like you said, than you should call or email the uncle on fh's behalf, you can't make it worse! this is so sad and i'm sorry you are both going through something so sad at such a happy time. hope it all works out.
beram63
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
Posted by littlepixie12
This just doesn't make any sense... I cant even give you advice because it doesn't make any sense.
that is my exact reaction. there's a missing piece of the puzzle. i say it's time for a phone call to find out exactly what's bother the uncle.
Ann 52409
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Posted by beram63
Posted by littlepixie12
This just doesn't make any sense... I cant even give you advice because it doesn't make any sense.
that is my exact reaction. there's a missing piece of the puzzle. i say it's time for a phone call to find out exactly what's bother the uncle.
Completely agree..... something is up
DonnaPWhite1124
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thats awful....by any chance is your fh's family from a different country?
Fall BZ 2009
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So sorry to hear that............
I feel that its a little strange, I know you must be hurt seeing your FH hurt but I would def talk to FH uncle and see if anything is OK, Health wise? why the change in mind?
GOOD LUCK GIRL!
MrsDrinkh20
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Posted by Ann 52409
Posted by beram63
Posted by littlepixie12
This just doesn't make any sense... I cant even give you advice because it doesn't make any sense.
that is my exact reaction. there's a missing piece of the puzzle. i say it's time for a phone call to find out exactly what's bother the uncle.
Completely agree..... something is up
absolutely agree...im so sorry you have to go through this but i defiitely think you guys need to contact FHs uncle..something is definitely up!
Jsquared279
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Posted by DonnaPWhite1124
thats awful....by any chance is your fh's family from a different country?
No they are from here!
Jsquared279
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Re: FH is very sad and hurt...
Posted by Jsquared279
Posted by Future Mulligan
thats terrible
this uncle better have a good explanation - if he doesnt i'd cut my ties with him - i wouldnt even bother sending him an invitation - but thats just how i am, id cut my nose to spite my face and i know it....
i dont really have any good advice i just feel horrible for your FH, that was rude and uncalled for and it was mean - i dont get it
Hey actually FH said the same thing. Now he doesn't even want to send an invite out. But I told him we aren't sending the invites out till the end of November, so we still have some time to think about it. I don't want FH to make a snap decision now when he is upset while there is still time to work it out. FH did write him an email back and it said 'Wow...I don't really know what to say. Have I done something? Why would you respond in that way?' Of course this email has gone unanswered! Thanks for your response hun!
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So FH got another email from his Uncle in response to the one I mention here. It is one sentence it says:
'No you have not done anything'
FH doesn't want to call him...we are still so confused
WEIRD! something must have happened within th family! Why would he say that it wasnt something you did but not explain what it is? that is sooo hurtful...oh I really feel terrible for jordan!
