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Your list is perfect, everyone on it should be invited, I would invite the readers as well. I would scrap the invites and do it by word of mouth, everyone will be at the rehearsal anyway...also, I wouldn't offer to pay a dime for the RD, and tell your FMIL that this is your list, and that's the end of it, just like how your family didn't tell her who to invite to the reception, she shouldn't be telling you who to invite to the RD.
Posted by LFitzy79
just like how your family didn't tell her who to invite to the reception, she shouldn't be telling you who to invite to the RD.
Just wanted to add, we did invitations, but they were fill in ones I got at Target for a couple of bucks. I have been in several weddings and never received an invite for a RD - just told when & where to show up. I sent the invite mainly to give directions to the restaurant.
I'm the last one who says you should side with FIL. But here is a way to you make this process smoother. One you can go to a dollar store and buy cheap invites, they come in like 8 in a pack. its a one to three process. As for the RD and the BP bf and gf, offer to help pay for their plates. I don't know if your FIL are short on money or if they are just being cheap. I personally can't handle most of my FIL's so we're doing all the parties ourselves, that way th ey can't complain its not done their way.
Posted by halfpintny
I guess the sticking point here is that FHs parents have paid for nothing...not a dime and I made it a point to let FH know that if they didn't not throw the RD my mom was going to disinvite his side of the family. Needless to say this would not be a good start to the wedding. I'm trying very hard to keep my mom in check especially after she found out FMIL was planning on re-gifting my engagement present as a shower gift....meaning the woman bought us NOTHING which has totally pissed off my mother. FH is so embarassed but he insists that there's nothing he can do. If you recall a past post regarding FH birthday...FMIL wouldn't let me order a $5 appitizer because it was too much money. Half of me wants to not get involved in the RD at all because then EVERYONE will see what cheapos they are but I feel bad for FH because they are ultimately a reflection on him. No I'm pissed off because they refuse to take any interest in the wedding whatsoever and anytime they do mention something it has to do with something negative. You'd think these people were on public assistance or something...they live in POQUOIT (setauket's version of Belle Terre)
Posted by katieshope
We are just having my parents, his parents, and the bridal party with their dates or significant others. We can't have the OOT guests because it would be way too many.
I say invite everyone you said, including the readers and BPs significant others, (not some chick that one of the groomsmen met last week, you get my point), and all out of town guests. Just ignore FIL and do what you want. I know it may seem childish, but that's what I'd do, and probably will do.
Thank you ladies for helping me keep my sanity. I don't know why FH's parents are so negative and difficult. As far as us paying and them not having a say, they don't see it that way either. From the moment we got engaged, it has just been one battle after another with them. My parents are paying for 90% of the wedding and still FILs feel they have a right to say we're spending too much money on everything and that we should just get married by the justice of the peace. The same people that told us we didn't need a photographer and that we could just put the disposable cameras on the table....the same people that said we don't need a dj...that we can just hire a kid to play cds....and the list goes on and on. It's to the point that I'm disgusted to be in the same room with either of them because all they have is negativity to share....but I know I have to suck it up and try to keep the peace so I don't upset FH. I wish I could trade in the FILs!!!!!!!
