FILs have LOST IT! - Update
This is really long...sorry in advance. I feel absolutely horrible right now...FH is beside himself, he didn't even go to work today...
As many of you know, we have a lot of problems with FSD. She has many behavioral issues and has had a lot of abandonment and mistreatment in her 7 years. Things were actually going pretty well, we had her on a schedule and she had structure and was getting better (though still not great yet)...then she went to England for FH's sister's wedding. She was out of her routine and allowed to run crazy and came back worse than EVER...stealing money from us, stealing my hair bows, lying in the face of a mountain of evidence against her, being completely defiant...it was terrible. Neither of us had ever seen her like this before or had ever dealt with a child as bad as her (and that's saying something since I grew up with a brother who has Autism). Because of all these developments, we realized that taking her out of her structured environment was really a bad idea. Originally she was set to go spend the time we were on our honeymoon with FILs in Ohio, but due to all these events we decided it was best for her to stay here with my parents and continue to go to camp. Obviously we didn't want to have to do this...we knew it would be disappointing for everyone, but that sometimes being a parent means making the hard choice and making nobody happy for the betterment of your child.
So...last night we told FILs our decision over the phone. They seemed pretty calm, and then they tell us that they're only going to drive in late on the Friday before our wedding and then leave early the day after. They were supposed to come out on the 12th and stay until the 20th...now they are talking about getting in late the 16th and leaving early the 19th. FH told them that's not what he wanted, that he wanted them there and that it wasn't fair to FSD for her to not be able to see them at all. It got so bad that this morning I actually called and spoke to them myself. All FMIL could do was say 'I told you so', that moving FSD out here was a mistake, that she knew this would happen, blah blah blah. I told her we could go back and forth on blame all she wanted, she could go running down the street saying she was right, but that it wouldn't change what is happening now. They said they'd 'discuss' it and let us know.
That was 9am this morning...we've yet to hear anything. FH is really depressed. I am so angry at FILs. We told FSD that she would not be going to Ohio, that we thought that's what was best and she actually took it really well...but she was saying that she wanted to show FILs all these things here, she wants to share with them where she lives...I didn't know what to say to her. I just said 'We'll see what happens'. I HATE THEM for doing this...they are selfish and ridiculous. We aren't doing things their way so they have to throw a fit and think of nobody but themselves. I am worried that they are going to go the other way and not come to the wedding at all. FH keeps saying 'Fcuk 'em, I don't care' but I know that in reality if they do this he will be beyond devestated.
If you read to the end of this, you are amazing...please send prayers our way. Obviously everyone knows how I feel about FILs and it wouldn't bother me to not have them there except that it would kill FH.![]()
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UPDATE: Almost 9:30pm and still radio silence from them...FH has been beside himself all day and just got finished eating a bunch of apple pie straight from the box. I HATE THEM FOR DOING THIS TO HIM...I sent them an email telling them that FSD expressed a desire to show them around and that FH has been inconsolable all day and that them dropping in for the weekend and hightailing it out of her on that Monday would be terrible. They need to stop being JERKS and answer their only son!!!!!!
As many of you know, we have a lot of problems with FSD. She has many behavioral issues and has had a lot of abandonment and mistreatment in her 7 years. Things were actually going pretty well, we had her on a schedule and she had structure and was getting better (though still not great yet)...then she went to England for FH's sister's wedding. She was out of her routine and allowed to run crazy and came back worse than EVER...stealing money from us, stealing my hair bows, lying in the face of a mountain of evidence against her, being completely defiant...it was terrible. Neither of us had ever seen her like this before or had ever dealt with a child as bad as her (and that's saying something since I grew up with a brother who has Autism). Because of all these developments, we realized that taking her out of her structured environment was really a bad idea. Originally she was set to go spend the time we were on our honeymoon with FILs in Ohio, but due to all these events we decided it was best for her to stay here with my parents and continue to go to camp. Obviously we didn't want to have to do this...we knew it would be disappointing for everyone, but that sometimes being a parent means making the hard choice and making nobody happy for the betterment of your child.
So...last night we told FILs our decision over the phone. They seemed pretty calm, and then they tell us that they're only going to drive in late on the Friday before our wedding and then leave early the day after. They were supposed to come out on the 12th and stay until the 20th...now they are talking about getting in late the 16th and leaving early the 19th. FH told them that's not what he wanted, that he wanted them there and that it wasn't fair to FSD for her to not be able to see them at all. It got so bad that this morning I actually called and spoke to them myself. All FMIL could do was say 'I told you so', that moving FSD out here was a mistake, that she knew this would happen, blah blah blah. I told her we could go back and forth on blame all she wanted, she could go running down the street saying she was right, but that it wouldn't change what is happening now. They said they'd 'discuss' it and let us know.
That was 9am this morning...we've yet to hear anything. FH is really depressed. I am so angry at FILs. We told FSD that she would not be going to Ohio, that we thought that's what was best and she actually took it really well...but she was saying that she wanted to show FILs all these things here, she wants to share with them where she lives...I didn't know what to say to her. I just said 'We'll see what happens'. I HATE THEM for doing this...they are selfish and ridiculous. We aren't doing things their way so they have to throw a fit and think of nobody but themselves. I am worried that they are going to go the other way and not come to the wedding at all. FH keeps saying 'Fcuk 'em, I don't care' but I know that in reality if they do this he will be beyond devestated.
If you read to the end of this, you are amazing...please send prayers our way. Obviously everyone knows how I feel about FILs and it wouldn't bother me to not have them there except that it would kill FH.
UPDATE: Almost 9:30pm and still radio silence from them...FH has been beside himself all day and just got finished eating a bunch of apple pie straight from the box. I HATE THEM FOR DOING THIS TO HIM...I sent them an email telling them that FSD expressed a desire to show them around and that FH has been inconsolable all day and that them dropping in for the weekend and hightailing it out of her on that Monday would be terrible. They need to stop being JERKS and answer their only son!!!!!!
