For Brides Being Married In the Catholic Church...

some parishes are more laid back than other about certain rules (covering your shoulders, using only the week's actual readings - not traditional wedding readings -on a sunday, etc). we actually switched parishes for those actual reasons (hello strapless gown and not wanting to use a reading on the lepers).
butttttttttttttttttt...............
i don't think holy days are negotiable...switch days or don't get married in church.

Agreed with everyone (basically). The Church has rules- some can be bent (shoulders, etc) and some can't (Holy days).

The first thing I did when we got engaged was call the church and clear the day (and also get penciled in for the proper time on that day), so that we could move forward with our planning.

Is a Church wedding that important to you? If it is, I think you will have to change the date. But you could call a few parishes to check.

---

Posted by bluehevn22

So are we hearing that you can't have anything on those days...or just the nuptial mass??? i am fine with just a ceremony. I don't need nor do I think I want the mass!

---

I don't think anything...they are holy days. Just like you can't get married on Christmas or Easter.

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by RFutureBegins2day

Ugh, damn catholic church.

---

Why is everyone so anti-Church? Every establishment and religion has rules.

You can't just barge into an RH and demand to be married at that given moment.

---

Its just very annoying when the church wants you to make them #1. And when you do, you cant do ANYTHING. They went from being the place of worship to money money money. When it all comes down to it, its all business.. And from what I hear, it is only the catholic church that doesnt allow anything. Luthern church allows for things. Same as protestint. If it has a RC in the name. Be prepared girls, that you cant have NADA. No runners, rose petals, bird seed,

---

Posted by annnng

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by RFutureBegins2day

Ugh, damn catholic church.

---

Why is everyone so anti-Church? Every establishment and religion has rules.

You can't just barge into an RH and demand to be married at that given moment.

---

Its just very annoying when the church wants you to make them #1. And when you do, you cant do ANYTHING. They went from being the place of worship to money money money. When it all comes down to it, its all business.. And from what I hear, it is only the catholic church that doesnt allow anything. Luthern church allows for things. Same as protestint. If it has a RC in the name. Be prepared girls, that you cant have NADA. No runners, rose petals, bird seed,

---

You are assuming so many things! There are plenty of people involved in the Church for the right reasons. I'm not saying that every person involved with a Church is wonderful, but there are people associated with all types of institutions that are not wonderful.

Do you belong to clubs? Do you have to pay fees? Did you have to pay to go to college? Are clubs and schools only in it for the money? I think not.

BTW: I'm having an aisle runner, bubbles after the ceremony, memorial candle, selected all of my own readings, and am having an Episcopalian Reverend act as a co-celebrant at my wedding, even though neither of us are Episcopalian.

---

Posted by annnng

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by RFutureBegins2day

Ugh, damn catholic church.

---

Why is everyone so anti-Church? Every establishment and religion has rules.

You can't just barge into an RH and demand to be married at that given moment.

---

Its just very annoying when the church wants you to make them #1. And when you do, you cant do ANYTHING. They went from being the place of worship to money money money. When it all comes down to it, its all business.. And from what I hear, it is only the catholic church that doesnt allow anything. Luthern church allows for things. Same as protestint. If it has a RC in the name. Be prepared girls, that you cant have NADA. No runners, rose petals, bird seed,

---

Well, to girls who are getting married in a Catholic church because they want to be married in the eyes of God, the church is #1. That's the reason for the big party afterward...the ACTUAL marriage.

Also, this year All Saints Day was NOT a day of obligation because it fell on a Monday so there may be a loophole if it falls on a weekend as well.

Yes, I have heard that there are holy days where you can't get married. However, some holy days if they fall on a saturday or monday (like all saints day) are not considered holy days of obligation, because the obligation transfers to sunday. your best bet is to just contact the church where you plan to get married. some churches are more conservative than others.

We got married on March 27, 2010, which happened to be the day before Palm Sunday. We had a 5:15 mass which counted for mass for Sunday. My church let us have the mass, but the priest who married us (he's a family friend) said that some churches would not have allowed us to have that mass.

---

Posted by annnng

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by RFutureBegins2day

Ugh, damn catholic church.

---

Why is everyone so anti-Church? Every establishment and religion has rules.

You can't just barge into an RH and demand to be married at that given moment.

---

Its just very annoying when the church wants you to make them #1. And when you do, you cant do ANYTHING. They went from being the place of worship to money money money. When it all comes down to it, its all business.. And from what I hear, it is only the catholic church that doesnt allow anything. Luthern church allows for things. Same as protestint. If it has a RC in the name. Be prepared girls, that you cant have NADA. No runners, rose petals, bird seed,

---

My cousin got married last year in a RC Church and he had an aisle runner, a unity candle, got to pick their readings and they had bubbles afterwards. Same thing for my other friends who got married in the Catholic Church. And one also had rose petals thrown outside, so it's really on a church-by-church basis on what's allowed.

And it's not just the Church that's picky....these RHs can also be picky. There are ones that make you use house vendors or you pay a fee. My hall only allows one particular florist to hang drapery on the ceiling - you use another florist and they won't let them do anything to the ceiling. The RHs each have their own rules about what goes. That's how it is everywhere.

---

Posted by annnng

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by RFutureBegins2day

Ugh, damn catholic church.

---

Why is everyone so anti-Church? Every establishment and religion has rules.

You can't just barge into an RH and demand to be married at that given moment.

---

Its just very annoying when the church wants you to make them #1. And when you do, you cant do ANYTHING. They went from being the place of worship to money money money. When it all comes down to it, its all business.. And from what I hear, it is only the catholic church that doesnt allow anything. Luthern church allows for things. Same as protestint. If it has a RC in the name. Be prepared girls, that you cant have NADA. No runners, rose petals, bird seed,

---

That is absolutely 100% untrue. I got married in a church. We could have runners, petals etc. Part of it is business in that they need money to sustain the church. Of course.

I had a wonderful experience with my church. My priest was absolutely amazing and fun. Our pre cana was one of the best wedding related experiences and continues to be important to us.

A word of advice. Book your church before the hall and before establishing everything else. The churches have rules like the PPs have stated. That should not be a suprise to you. It can be harder to book the church especially if you have one set in mind. This is not always true- I went to go book the church and they told me 'we are open that month so whenever you want to do it, we will put you there' they were totally flexible and a pleasure to work with.

Get your facts straight before you state what you have 'heard'.

---

Posted by annnng

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by RFutureBegins2day

Ugh, damn catholic church.

---

Why is everyone so anti-Church? Every establishment and religion has rules.

You can't just barge into an RH and demand to be married at that given moment.

---

Its just very annoying when the church wants you to make them #1. And when you do, you cant do ANYTHING. They went from being the place of worship to money money money. When it all comes down to it, its all business.. And from what I hear, it is only the catholic church that doesnt allow anything. Luthern church allows for things. Same as protestint. If it has a RC in the name. Be prepared girls, that you cant have NADA. No runners, rose petals, bird seed,

---

I can have an aisle runner, bird seed and rose petals.
When your catholic and its important to you to get married in a church that is #1. It's the part where you actually get married. Everything else is just extra.

I had a wonderful experience with my church too. We had a aisle runner, bubbles, unity candle...no flower petals, but it is what it is. They have rules. If I didnt want to follow them, I didnt have to get married in a church, but we wanted to.

You should book the church first so that you can get the date you want or find out if you cant get married that day.

---

Posted by annnng

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by RFutureBegins2day

Ugh, damn catholic church.

---

Why is everyone so anti-Church? Every establishment and religion has rules.

You can't just barge into an RH and demand to be married at that given moment.

---

Its just very annoying when the church wants you to make them #1. And when you do, you cant do ANYTHING. They went from being the place of worship to money money money. When it all comes down to it, its all business.. And from what I hear, it is only the catholic church that doesnt allow anything. Luthern church allows for things. Same as protestint. If it has a RC in the name. Be prepared girls, that you cant have NADA. No runners, rose petals, bird seed,

---

Not true. My RC Church allows for birdseed, flower petals, or bubbles after the ceremony. I can have an aisle runner and a unity candle. And we are choosing our readings.

I think for anyone having problems with their church... as said here already -- some parishes are more flexible than others.

Try a different one.

I just got married in a Catholic church and they were super flexible about everything.

No, I wasn't allowed to use a runner but it was for 'lawsuit' concerns not a problem with it being a Catholic church.

Whoever said that they didn't like that the church had to be #1. OF COURSE THEY SHOULD BE #1.

If you don't agree with this, you shouldn't be getting married in a Catholic church.

They talked about this at length during our ceremony. You can 'get married' anywhere. At the courthouse, on a beach, at Disney World etc. But you can only have the Sacriment of Holy Matrimony performed one place if you're Catholic.

It's important to them and if you're a practicing Catholic then it'd be important to you too.

Every church tells you to clear the date with them before you do ANYTHING else. So, if you didn't follow the most basic instructions - -that's not their fault.

My cousin in Arizona could not get married on January 1st because it was a holy day of obligation
We had no idea
She got married at the hall because she wanted that date

Just to play devils advocate but one of the main reasons about no bird seed anymore is that noone cleans it up and then the priest and/or a worker has to clean up the mess that all the wedding guests left because they do not want to have to deal with birds- pigeons for a lot of places- crapping all over the steps. Not for anything but who wants to be pelted with that stuff anyway???

And not to come off harsh but the reason you have a wedding at a church is to fulfill the sacrament of marriage - not to throw flowers, seeds, blow bubbles etc,,, that is just EXTRA & like pp have said - if someone cant abide by the rules that are set up - have your ceremony elsewhere.

This whole post just goes to show that people are more interested in the reception then the actual marriage.
My church is letting us pick our readings etc. as well. No rose petals b/c if you step on them you slip and it is a liability.
The reason they are so strick on some rules is b/c they see that some people are more interested in 'getting married' then creating a marriage and life together, which is why there is so much divorce these days.
Don't get me wrong, I am no devout catholic who goes to church every sunday, however it is important to us to get married in the church, so we will do what is necessary to have that.
If you don't like it, get married at the hall.

---

Posted by bluehevn22

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by RFutureBegins2day

Ugh, damn catholic church.

---

Why is everyone so anti-Church? Every establishment and religion has rules.

You can't just barge into an RH and demand to be married at that given moment.

---

I understand what you are saying but I first was dealing with my parish that will not allow a former priest or any other priest for that matter (who also happens to be a very close family friend) back to my church for wedding ceremonies. So that option is out. And second, I am dealing with a budget and time of year...it kind of sucks more that I would have to pay extra just to have my wedding the week before! I understand holy days of obligation and all that but maybe this should be listed somewhere...b/c let's be honest, how is everyone supposed to keep track of every feast day or what have you! I went to catholic school all my life and I don't even know them all...I only remember the ones I got off of school for!

---

Honestly, they assume that you know those things. Don't take this the wrong way but The Church can't be expected to care about our budget or any other secular wedding concerns. They are there to perform the sacramet of marriage and that is the only thing they care about, we can't blame them. I'm getting married the day before Palm Sunday and can't decorate the Church becaue it's Holy Week, there is nothing I can do with it, nor would I even ask them to make an exception.