Frustrated with FH

last night FH and I were talking about tuxes for our very formal wedding. with never having gone to look at tuxes he tells me he is not going to wear a bow tie. and I asked him just to keep an open mind, its a formal wedding lets see how things look when we get there. he still refused. I'm really frustrated because he is hating something he has never worn. I told him that when I went wedding dress shopping I wanted to wear a white dress, upon trying one on realized that I look horrible!!!! so I went with Ivory. and all I want from FH is for him to say that if he looks horrible that he will consider other options, and he wont even do that...... chances are that I will like what ever he picks I've seen pics with ties I kinda like them. so its not that I want him to wear a bow tie, I just don't want him to hate something he hasn't seen. I know it sounds like a silly thing to be frustrated over but he does this a lot.

Just wait till we are ready to get a dog.... he says German Shepard or nothing.... with that choice I'm voting for nothing I want a big dog but I'm not a big fan of German Shepards. (there are reasons) But I'm not gonna fight that battle before I have to

sorry, i have to go with FH on this one
i HATE bow ties and that is not what makes it formal

MANY people are now wearing tuxes with long ties
i like that look much better

I personally have grown to love bow ties. I definitely didn't at first. But it's just such old school elegance! So now I'm a fan of them. But I am NOTTTTTTTT a fan of the cummerbund! ha!

That being said...I'm not telling FH what to wear.

Since FH didn't have a say in the dress I chose, I will not have a say in what he wears.

The only thing we talked about was whether him and the GM should all get the same tux or different ones. That's just us, but maybe just see what he comes up with before you guys make a decision. You want him to feel comfortable on your wedding day too!

could you guys compromise w/ a formal ascot tie?


here is a formal tux w/ regular tie

honestly, my opinion is to not say anything now TRUST ME...He probably feels like ok you are doing most of the stuff for the wedding and this is about what he is wearing and what he likes and it should be his decision and he can't even pick something for himself to wear. I know you said that he can pick what he likes but for him to consider the bow tie just in case but let it be and at the store just have him try both. I had a similar situation with FH, we went to look at tuxes and he tried the wing collar which i think looks great and so does he but he wants to try a collar that is specifically for windsor ties and i kept saying how i think the wing collar will look more formal. Yes i would say of course if you like the windsor collar better then go for it but my opinion is to go with the wing collar. He one day got mad and said its what he likes and why do i have to come in and ruin it for him, as if i dont like his ideas and i try to take control of every part of the wedding. He said he was excited about getting his tux and now i made it into such an issue. Once he said that i felt horrible and i kept my mouth shut.

Its the one thing they really get to pick, PLUS its what hes wearing so he should love it. Just like we wouldn't want to be told what to wear...yes we all know how you have to try everything so you can really see what you like but guys probably just feel we're taking over everything and even telling them what to wear. They want to feel they have some part in this too.

I like the ties and thing they can be very formal...fh's will be tied in a windsor knot and it makes such a big difference. If you look at alot of the wedding reviews you'll see many of the guys wear a tie.
I am not a fan of the bow ties so i wanted fh to get a tie but i never said anything to him

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Posted by Snowflake08

sorry, i have to go with FH on this one
i HATE bow ties and that is not what makes it formal

MANY people are now wearing tuxes with long ties
i like that look much better

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i agree i dont like bow ties at all! i love the way tuxes look with regular ties

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Posted by Melissa313

I do like the tie a lot. I just don't want FH to throw away options before he sees them... but in the end its what he chooses on this one

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Ill tell you one thing now, he is throwing away the option of a bow tie bc its being pushed on him...if you let it go and just have him try it on at the store he will be open to it. But him feeling forced to pick a bow tie is exactly what he won't get...even if he likes it he might not go with it bc it has become an issue and doesn't want to show you are right.

When i had the whole wing collar/windsor collar debate...fh turned and said well i am getting the windsor collar now without even trying it first but honestly i wouldve done the exact same thing

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Melissa313

I do like the tie a lot. I just don't want FH to throw away options before he sees them... but in the end its what he chooses on this one

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Ill tell you one thing now, he is throwing away the option of a bow tie bc its being pushed on him...if you let it go and just have him try it on at the store he will be open to it. But him feeling forced to pick a bow tie is exactly what he won't get...even if he likes it he might not go with it bc it has become an issue and doesn't want to show you are right.

When i had the whole wing collar/windsor collar debate...fh turned and said well i am getting the windsor collar now without even trying it first but honestly i wouldve done the exact same thing

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you're right!!! thanks. I know I am making it a bigger deal than it really is.

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Posted by Melissa313

last night FH and I were talking about tuxes for our very formal wedding. with never having gone to look at tuxes he tells me he is not going to wear a bow tie. and I asked him just to keep an open mind, its a formal wedding lets see how things look when we get there. he still refused. I'm really frustrated because he is hating something he has never worn. I told him that when I went wedding dress shopping I wanted to wear a white dress, upon trying one on realized that I look horrible!!!! so I went with Ivory. and all I want from FH is for him to say that if he looks horrible that he will consider other options, and he wont even do that...... chances are that I will like what ever he picks I've seen pics with ties I kinda like them. so its not that I want him to wear a bow tie, I just don't want him to hate something he hasn't seen. I know it sounds like a silly thing to be frustrated over but he does this a lot.

Just wait till we are ready to get a dog.... he says German Shepard or nothing.... with that choice I'm voting for nothing I want a big dog but I'm not a big fan of German Shepards. (there are reasons) But I'm not gonna fight that battle before I have to

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Yeah, that's frustrating that he won't even give it a shot!

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Posted by Snowflake08

sorry, i have to go with FH on this one
i HATE bow ties and that is not what makes it formal

MANY people are now wearing tuxes with long ties
i like that look much better

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i have to agree on this.

The tuxes with the long ties looks way sexy!

Here's a Youtube tutorial on how to tie a windsor knot for those of you that are wondering lol

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-tie-a-tie-using-a-full-windsor-knot

I completely understand your frustration here -- my FH can be like this too. This is what I have learned (its hard to actually do sometimes but it usually works) -- keep quite until it is time. If you just let it be and when you get there let him try on his things first. Then just ask him nicely to try on your pick so you can see what it looks like. He might do it reluctantly but he will do it. In the end he still may pick something you didn't but at least he will have seen for himself.

FH and I have had minor altercations about the tuxes -- with his argument being I got to pick my dress. But he has now realized that I am coming along and will have some kind of say but ultimately it his decision. I will be there more for supervision and color scheming.

HTH