Gift vent : I'm about to sound spoiled

So don't flame. I know it's not about the gifts, but I am seriously shaking my head at some people.

A couple, coming to the wedding, friend of both of us for 15 years ...sent us a $50 registry gift.

A couple, FH's first cousin, coming to the wedding, several years older, well-established, wealthy, gave us a honeyfund gift of over $100 LESS than we gave them when we got married and we were still in college. Their wedding was OOT and we had to stay 2 nights at a Hyatt and travel. They don't have to even travel for ours.

A couple coming to the wedding, we just went to their wedding 2 months ago and wrote a generous check, bought us registry gifts, NOT off our regitstry but from a different store (I guess to use a 20% off coupon), totaling like $150 LESS than we just gave them for their way downscale OOS wedding. REALLY....really? I mean, you could say they can't afford it, but if I were in that position, I'd seriously save the money from the gift I got and send it right back.

some people just don't know any better and if they do know better that's on them for being rude and cheap.

even though it's frustrating, just let it roll off of your back...all you can control is how you handle it

i thnk you just need a hug - i feel your pain

---

Posted by leighlo1226

some people just don't know any better and if they do know better that's on them for being rude and cheap.

even though it's frustrating, just let it roll off of your back...all you can control is how you handle it

---

I think I'm going to entertain myself by writing overly effusive thank you notes for the cheapest gifts. The more cheap the gift was, the more I'll go on and on about how generous they were. LOL.

Are these wedding gifts or shower gifts? Either way don't sweat it too much. A gift is a gift at they end of the day and you can't compare what you gave someone to what you recieve although I understand it's sometimes frustraiting because it seems they don't appreicate you as much as you did them.

Girl I had a family of 5 not give me present in the wedding bc they assumed that bc they gave me a present for my shower...they were OK. ***??????

I wanted to kill myself.

---

Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali

I think some people are just clueless. I'll admit I was clueless about it before I came to this site.. I just figured I'd give what I could afford and that's it.

---

This is what you should do! You should never over extend yourself. Just give what you can. You have to be generous according to your standards. If people don't appreciate it well then screw them.

---

Posted by Jennielee15

Are you sure these people won't bring money the day of the wedding?

---

I don't know. I'm assuming that these gifts I'm getting are THE gifts.

I didn't expect to get so many registry gifts for the wedding. I've gotten a ton so far from FH's family and from friends. My family always gives cash for weddings. It's fun getting all of these packages though

I had a family of 5 give us a cake cutting set at the wedding that was valued at Macy's for $40.

I just feel like it's insulting if I made the effort to go to your wedding right before mine and give a gift and then you give less? It's like a slap in the face. We couldn't afford all of that before the wedding, but we did it for family

And the other cousin, we must have spent close to $1000 between travel and the gift for that wedding, and they're well-established. I feel like we've WAY over extended ourselves to be generous and these people couldn't care less.

---

Posted by 2010BTB

I had a family of 5 give us a cake cutting set at the wedding that was valued at Macy's for $40.

---

Nice! And you couldn't even use it at the wedding..LOL

But some people DO know better

We have a friend who is from NY, lives in DC now....she and I are quite close.

She is coming to the rehearsal dinner and the wedding and gave us a $50 gift off of our honeymoon registry

PS she is staying at her parents' house for the wedding

We have a few younger single frien that gave $50 or $60.... But they are 23 and really just started their lives, and I think that is totally appropriate

But a 29 year old with a job should know better. She will just get the same from me when it is her turn, you know?

I think the one friend...who is 29, BTW, who gave the $50 gift and also gave me well a strane shower gift legit doesn't know better, but these cousins really should/do.

It;s on top of everything..like all of the people not coming, and thegifts, it's like one more insult.

---

Posted by 2010BTB

I had a family of 5 give us a cake cutting set at the wedding that was valued at Macy's for $40.

---

Just curious what state are they from? That's harsh.

---

Posted by HSsweethearts

---

Posted by leighlo1226

some people just don't know any better and if they do know better that's on them for being rude and cheap.

even though it's frustrating, just let it roll off of your back...all you can control is how you handle it

---

I think I'm going to entertain myself by writing overly effusive thank you notes for the cheapest gifts. The more cheap the gift was, the more I'll go on and on about how generous they were. LOL.

---

i LOVE this idea! don't let ppl bother you, sometimes they just don't know any better. you would think ppl would at least give you back what you gave them!

---

Posted by quirkybride

Yeah, it's lame. Unless they CANNOT afford it, there's no reason you should be paying for their seat. I know it's harsh, but it's true. If everyone did that you'd be f***d.

---

agreed!

---

Posted by cait625

---

Posted by quirkybride

Yeah, it's lame. Unless they CANNOT afford it, there's no reason you should be paying for their seat. I know it's harsh, but it's true. If everyone did that you'd be f***d.

---

agreed!

---

I know it's criticized a lot, but in my family I was taught to cover your plate if you can afford it. If someone has their wedding at the Plaza, I don't feel I should take out a loan, but I feel like in NYC/LI if you give a certain minimum to anyone you at least know you're not totally cheaping out. FH's family and our friends are like totally going the other way. So far the largest gifts we've gotten from couples have been $240, $170 and $120. All are less than I would give for just about any wedding I'd go to.