Girls with FH's in law enforcement

So allow me to vent ( i dont do it very often).. but how do you girls do it! My FH just started a job as a corrections officer in May and his hours are ridic. He works days and nights and weekends and apparently all holidays this year! (thanksgiving, christmas eve and day etc)... I just feel like its really starting to bother me because we live together and honestly see eachother (longer than a hello or goodbye kiss) maybe twice a week if we are lucky! Also, since he just started his pay is low and he is working alot of OT so we can save for this wedding!

Anyone else's FH have crazy hours, how do you guys deal with it? i dont want it to cause us to fight so I am trying to stay positive!

ok venting over. Thanks girls

My FH is NYPD too and never has the same hours. I will not lie, it is very difficult sometimes and planning a wedding with him is not easy. Yesterday was the first time I saw him where we were both awake in 3 days and we do live together too.

All I can tell you is your going through a rough part now..but he is too. He is feeling the same way you are, plus stress of a new job and trying to make enough money.

The only advise I can give you is to try what FH and I try and do. Make a time each week where you take no phone calls, don't go out with friends, and you just have some time with each other. It makes it feel like dating again.

You will get through this and other rough patches. And if you want to discuss this with him, don't fight about it. Talk...cause like I said...he's going through this too.

If you need to vent, you can always FM me!

Thank you girls

sorry you're going thru such a hard time. My FH kinda had a hectic schedule too. He was usually outta the house by noon and wouldn't get back home until 1am. (he has classes and work). We basically made this work by getting up a little earlier than we would usually want to. So after staying up till 3 or 4am (sometimes later) , we'd also be up by 8 or 9. We were VERY tired, but it still gave us the chance to relax and hang out, which was very important to both of us. It was hard though. Broke my heart every time he left me for the day. I think I made him feel guilty for it with my sad face, but I didn't mean to! He already felt bad enough. awww. Try not to do this to YOUR man. I'm sure he loves you, and he's trying. But if it's really bothering you, don't hold it in either, because when I, personally, do that I end up blowing up about things later down the road. Just talk it out with him (if he's the type you feel you can talk to about this sorda thing without getting into an argument, of course)

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Posted by jen919ifer

I am in the same position. At first it bothered me a lot more then it does now, but I have become used to it. It actually gives me more 'me' time, and I know eventually he will be on a day shift so I just look forward to that. I figure if we can make it through this then there wouldn't be much we coudln't make it throuhg. Some days I get more upset then others, like this week I am going through an 'I feel alone' stage, but I always snap out of it, and sometimes want him to go to work LOL.

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lol... that's true actually. Even with as sad as it made me to have him gone all day, I actually did come to enjoy the 'me' time I wouldn't normally have So I guess there's a little good and bad in everything.

Even though my FH is not in the law enforcement, he is a nurse, his hours are terrible. He works teh 11-7 and sometimes 7-to whenever then need him to. We dont live together, so its harder to see each other, and plus he lives in Medford and im in LIndenhurst. We dont really see that much of each other and it *****, but i really dont know what else there is to do. We see each other the nights he is off, and then sometimes on the weekends. It stinks, i understand where you girls are coming from.

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Posted by gporka23

I will def talk to him about it. I just dont want to make him feel bad cause I think he kind of does already. We have completely opposite schedules and I go through a 'i feel lonely' phase too! We just moved to suffolk and all my friends are in Nassua/ Queens so I get very lonely and restless easily lately. I also know me, I will get mad on Holidays when he is not there even though he cant do anything about it!! But yes yes it will get better and you guys are right, we can get through it!

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Try starting a 'Holiday any day'. If he can't mak it for holidays, just make the celebration on another day...invite everyone over. Hey, everyone would love Christman in July lol

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Posted by thelastMrsG

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Posted by gporka23

I will def talk to him about it. I just dont want to make him feel bad cause I think he kind of does already. We have completely opposite schedules and I go through a 'i feel lonely' phase too! We just moved to suffolk and all my friends are in Nassua/ Queens so I get very lonely and restless easily lately. I also know me, I will get mad on Holidays when he is not there even though he cant do anything about it!! But yes yes it will get better and you guys are right, we can get through it!

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Try starting a 'Holiday any day'. If he can't mak it for holidays, just make the celebration on another day...invite everyone over. Hey, everyone would love Christman in July lol

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Great Idea!.. makes me feel alot better. i know its just going to take me time to get used to.

my FH is NYPD and his hours and days constantly rotate. Some weeks are really good for us and some weeks we are totally off schedule with each other. In the beginning it was really hard but we make it work. To be honest, not seeing him as much doesn't really get to me as much as the worry I feel of him being out in the streets putting his life on the line. Only thing I can really say is that with any relationship there will be a sacrifice, but its the ability that you have to get through it that makes the good time even more meaningful. Hang in there, everything will work out.

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Posted by gporka23

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Posted by thelastMrsG

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Posted by gporka23

I will def talk to him about it. I just dont want to make him feel bad cause I think he kind of does already. We have completely opposite schedules and I go through a 'i feel lonely' phase too! We just moved to suffolk and all my friends are in Nassua/ Queens so I get very lonely and restless easily lately. I also know me, I will get mad on Holidays when he is not there even though he cant do anything about it!! But yes yes it will get better and you guys are right, we can get through it!

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Try starting a 'Holiday any day'. If he can't mak it for holidays, just make the celebration on another day...invite everyone over. Hey, everyone would love Christman in July lol

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Great Idea!.. makes me feel alot better. i know its just going to take me time to get used to.

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It does take time. hey, I still go throught the lonly times. Going to bed is my hardest. But like I said, it keeps the spark going even more when you don't see each other for 3 days and you finally have 2 hours before bed to sit and talk, argue, have dinner, whatever. Yes, I look forward to arguments sometimes.

My FH is not NYPD, he's in the Army and he's stationed in Alaska. We see each other every two months if we're lucky. I've been doing a lot of the actual leg work for our wedding on my own and it's not easy. We stay in touch via phone (text) or through the internet. It's a four hr difference (they are 4 hrs behind us) so when he gets home I'm already getting ready for bed. I usually stay up late so I can see him on web cam. So I definitely know what you're going through. I'm just glad that he's not in Iraq or something. It will get better with time, at least he's there eve if it's for a little bit. Hope you feel better!

My FH isn't in law enforcement but I know how you girls feel. My FH works from 7am until 7-8pm at night (sometimes till9:30) and the only two days he has off is Tuesday & Sunday.

It's hard to try to see halls & vendors when he wants to be includded in these things. The only common day we have off is Sunday and it's hard to see the halls since weddings are going on that day normally. I work Tuesday so that's never good unless I want to rush out of work and get him then go out somewhere...

I only get to spend Saturday night & sunday with him I rarely see him during the week cause he has to work late. He works for FedEx so he always have a nutty schedule, works most holidays, never knows what time his route will be done with etc..

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Posted by LvnMrT

My FH is not NYPD, he's in the Army and he's stationed in Alaska. We see each other every two months if we're lucky. I've been doing a lot of the actual leg work for our wedding on my own and it's not easy. We stay in touch via phone (text) or through the internet. It's a four hr difference (they are 4 hrs behind us) so when he gets home I'm already getting ready for bed. I usually stay up late so I can see him on web cam. So I definitely know what you're going through. I'm just glad that he's not in Iraq or something. It will get better with time, at least he's there eve if it's for a little bit. Hope you feel better!

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Well now i cant complain! Thats is really rough...

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Posted by gporka23

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Posted by LvnMrT

My FH is not NYPD, he's in the Army and he's stationed in Alaska. We see each other every two months if we're lucky. I've been doing a lot of the actual leg work for our wedding on my own and it's not easy. We stay in touch via phone (text) or through the internet. It's a four hr difference (they are 4 hrs behind us) so when he gets home I'm already getting ready for bed. I usually stay up late so I can see him on web cam. So I definitely know what you're going through. I'm just glad that he's not in Iraq or something. It will get better with time, at least he's there eve if it's for a little bit. Hope you feel better!

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Well now i cant complain! Thats is really rough...

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Yeah it is, but it makes you appreciate the time you do have together that much more. I'm going to see him in October so I'm super excited! He will be moving much closer (North Carolina) in November so I'm sooo happy!
It does take time to get used to it, but it makes your time together that much special and just think of it this way...if you can get through this now, then other hurdles won't seem as bad.

At least you have a really positive attitude about it. I would be on here whining abotu it 24/7 I am sure!.. Thats awesome that he is moving closer!!