Groomsmen Help

Ok, so I have 2 brother in laws. I am close with both of them. FH isn't as close with them because he has obviously only known them for a few years. My mom thinks they should be groomsmen, but FH feels weird asking them. We were thinking of asking them to speak during the ceremony and still escort my sisters back up the aisle. But, I am not sure if that is disrespectful and need to ask them to be groomsmen. I have no idea what to do in this situation because I obviously don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but also can't just tell FH he needs to put them in the grooms party. What do you all think?

Groomsmen Help

So your sisters are bridesmaids? Does FH have siblings?

Re: Groomsmen Help

Yes, my sisters are technically my maids of honor, though I never actually asked them to be (long story) and no FH has no siblings. His groomsmen are his best friends since he was like 5.

Groomsmen Help

I am planning my wedding how my FH and I want it and I know there are going to be people who get upset in the process but they need to get over it! Really it is a personal opinion, many people ask their siblings to be in their bridal parties but I also know people who did not ask. It seems like your mom is the one who is concerned about this but have you had a convo with your brothers? If your sisters are in the wedding party it makes sense to have your brothers but not if it's uncomfortable for your FH. What is your opinion excluding all the thoughts/suggestions people have given you?

Re: Groomsmen Help

My sister had brought it up to me a couple weeks ago and she asked if they were going to be in it. I had told her at the time we weren't sure what we were doing and that we might have them do readings during the ceremony. She had said she thought we would ask them to be groomsmen, but understood if we didn't bc FH isn't that close with them.

Honestly, i am not sure what i want. I know i don't want to force FH in having them as groomsmen, but part of me thinks that they should be. And the other part thinks it is ok if i give them readings to do so they can be part of the ceremony. I am really, really torn and i don't want to too much time to go by before we say/do anything about it.

Groomsmen Help

i COMPLETELY understand and am going through the same thing!! I have 2 sisters and 1 brother, and FH has 6 sisters and 1 brother. All of them are in our bridal party. I also have 1 brother in law, and FH has 4 brother in laws… we are sooo stuck on this because he is very close with one of them (on his side), but all of his 4 had him in their weddings. Also, my sister is being a real pain about pressuring me to put my bro in law in, so it's just added to the stress! I feel so bad for him like if he has to add someone it's going to take away a spot for someone he really wants.

No advice for you lol, I just relate.

Re: Groomsmen Help

I think you should do what you guys want to do. I never wanted to pressure my FH into asking my brother to be a groomsman (they are not close). FH is not even asking his own brother...they're not that close. He also says his brother wouldn't care either way. I asked my SIL to be a bridesmaid but we are very close.

Then again, we didn't have our parents pressuring us either.

But I think having them escort your sisters down (?) the aisle after the ceremony is confusing because that's normally the responsibility of the groomsmen.

Are you going to take some pictures just with them? Maybe that could be your way to show them being more than just a regular guest at your wedding.

Just my opinion, but having them speak at your reception is also a little confusing. And would adding them create a huge list of people giving speeches? Because as a guest, it gets a little tiring to listen to person after person talk. But then again...it's a once in a lifetime thing, so if you want to, then I say do it!

If you don't decide to include them, I think you should just talk to them and explain why. I think any normal, reasonable person would totally understand the situation.

Re: Groomsmen Help

My sisters are a lot older than me and I feel really awkward having my friends escort them back up the aisle. The girls are going to walk down initially on their own.

Yes, I definitely want pictures with them and obviously all of us as a family.

I was thinking on having them say a poem or something at the ceremony. My sisters have already decided they don't want to make a speech so they were going to have one of my brother in laws do it any way.

Yes, we definitely need to talk to them, I just want to try to have a solid plan before doing so. I think they will understand, it's my sisters who are the unreasonable people i am most scared about pissing off....