Had an issue re: one of Debi's friends wanting to bring her baby to Debi's shower

Aw Mary, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to insult anyone with children (I hope to be one of those people some day) but there are some that seem to think their kids should always come first (I've lost a very close friend over this) and that the whole world should stop just because they had a kid.

Either she'll stew over it for awhile, suck it up and find a sitter or she won't come. And in the case of the latter, Debi will know what kind of friend this person is.

oh no mary! that stinks that you had to deal with that. i cant believe that woman was being so pushy! you handled it very well though!

oh and you could never come off as anti-children!!! you are THE mom of the 08s!!!

Im sorry she didnt react postiviely Mary

There are some places that just arent appropriate for a child. One of those could be considered a shower - whether its for space restraints, or adult games or interaction, or alcohol - there are a lot of reasons - regardless that it be adult only - and thats perfectly fine!

I dont have children yet - but I imagine it might be hard when u do have a small child and you start to be invited places on your own, and then having to find a sitter and all that goes with that. But IMO its part of being a parent - something everyone has to deal with at one point.

Alot of times - for example - you see this for a wedding - mine is adult only, bc we just dont have the room! It seems from your post that the space is an issue.

If she gets upset and talks to Deb, Im sure Deb will understand. And her friend has to understand to. It takes a lot of time and hardwork to plan a shower - and if you dont have the space- or just dont want the presence of a baby - thats how you planned it. Im sure its not the first time baby had to have a sitter.

Lindsay Bride to Be.

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Posted by Sharron70

Aw Mary, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to insult anyone with children (I hope to be one of those people some day) but there are some that seem to think their kids should always come first (I've lost a very close friend over this) and that the whole world should stop just because they had a kid.

Either she'll stew over it for awhile, suck it up and find a sitter or she won't come. And in the case of the latter, Debi will know what kind of friend this person is.

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I feel badly, but in this case had to be nice yet firm. Being nice yet firm kinda stinks sometime. Thanks, hon!!! Mary MOB

that is kind of rude of that girl , after you told her nicely no babies and explained the space issues. what about her husband , why can' t he watch his child for a few hours , jeez..

I don't understand people....

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Posted by KK Holiday

oh no mary! that stinks that you had to deal with that. i cant believe that woman was being so pushy! you handled it very well though!

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Thank you, for your vote of confidence, Kathryn!! Well, reading posts on here should have prepared me. It never feels good to disappoint someone. Mary MOB

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Posted by madseason

Im sorry she didnt react postiviely Mary

There are some places that just arent appropriate for a child. One of those could be considered a shower - whether its for space restraints, or adult games or interaction, or alcohol - there are a lot of reasons - regardless that it be adult only - and thats perfectly fine!

I dont have children yet - but I imagine it might be hard when u do have a small child and you start to be invited places on your own, and then having to find a sitter and all that goes with that. But IMO its part of being a parent - something everyone has to deal with at one point.

Alot of times - for example - you see this for a wedding - mine is adult only, bc we just dont have the room! It seems from your post that the space is an issue.

If she gets upset and talks to Deb, Im sure Deb will understand. And her friend has to understand to. It takes a lot of time and hardwork to plan a shower - and if you dont have the space- or just dont want the presence of a baby - thats how you planned it. Im sure its not the first time baby had to have a sitter.

Lindsay Bride to Be.

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Hey, Lindsay!!!! I appreciate what you have to say.
I really am concerned about space issues. If I had it to do again, I would have encouraged Debi to have it in a huge place, but have the tea catered. As it is 20 people will fit into the room, plus there will be a long table for gifts, not to mention shower games. Ahhhhhhhhh, it's making me nervous!! I'm praying it will all work out!! Mary Mother of the Bride

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Posted by debismom

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Posted by madseason

Im sorry she didnt react postiviely Mary

There are some places that just arent appropriate for a child. One of those could be considered a shower - whether its for space restraints, or adult games or interaction, or alcohol - there are a lot of reasons - regardless that it be adult only - and thats perfectly fine!

I dont have children yet - but I imagine it might be hard when u do have a small child and you start to be invited places on your own, and then having to find a sitter and all that goes with that. But IMO its part of being a parent - something everyone has to deal with at one point.

Alot of times - for example - you see this for a wedding - mine is adult only, bc we just dont have the room! It seems from your post that the space is an issue.

If she gets upset and talks to Deb, Im sure Deb will understand. And her friend has to understand to. It takes a lot of time and hardwork to plan a shower - and if you dont have the space- or just dont want the presence of a baby - thats how you planned it. Im sure its not the first time baby had to have a sitter.

Lindsay Bride to Be.

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Hey, Lindsay!!!! I appreciate what you have to say.
I really am concerned about space issues. If I had it to do again, I would have encouraged Debi to have it in a huge place, but have the tea catered. As it is 20 people will fit into the room, plus there will be a long table for gifts, not to mention shower games. Ahhhhhhhhh, it's making me nervous!! I'm praying it will all work out!! Mary Mother of the Bride

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It will work out!! I promise it wilL!!!!!

I'm not sure if this will make you feel better but my supervisor at work is always telling me a story about a shower she went to 10 years ago and brought her then newborn baby. She, to this day, is so embarassed that she did that, in her exact words, Miranda had no business being there that day. Maybe you just saved this girl some embarassment later! I think you did the right thing, stand your ground

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Posted by jessnstu08

that is kind of rude of that girl , after you told her nicely no babies and explained the space issues. what about her husband , why can' t he watch his child for a few hours , jeez..

I don't understand people....

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Hi, Jessica!!!!! Well, they live on a farm, and this gal already told Debi, they can't come to the wedding, because her DH can't leave the farm. I don't know their family situation, as far as people to babysit. Thanks!!! Mary MOB

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Posted by jessnstu08

that is kind of rude of that girl , after you told her nicely no babies and explained the space issues.

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Exactly. It's as though she went into the whole conversation thinking to herself 'she won't say no! Everybody Loves babies!'

Not to mention, some people just don't like being told no. Period.

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Posted by debismom

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Posted by jessnstu08

that is kind of rude of that girl , after you told her nicely no babies and explained the space issues. what about her husband , why can' t he watch his child for a few hours , jeez..

I don't understand people....

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Hi, Jessica!!!!! Well, they live on a farm, and this gal already told Debi, they can't come to the wedding, because her DH can't leave the farm. I don't know their family situation, as far as people to babysit. Thanks!!! Mary MOB

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While I sympathize with their situation, not to sound mean, not your problem.

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Posted by MikeandJess

I'm not sure if this will make you feel better but my supervisor at work is always telling me a story about a shower she went to 10 years ago and brought her then newborn baby. She, to this day, is so embarassed that she did that, in her exact words, Miranda had no business being there that day. Maybe you just saved this girl some embarassment later! I think you did the right thing, stand your ground

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Jessica, thank you!! That really does make me feel somewhat better!! Mary MOB

Have I told you all, lately, how much I love you guys????? I so much appreciate your kindness!!!!!

Mary MOB

it's ok Mary. If you had told her it was ok to bring the baby then everyone else would be upset with you b/c they couldn't bring their kids.

I love the phrasing 'wearing her baby'!

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Posted by debismom

Have I told you all, lately, how much I love you guys????? I so much appreciate your kindness!!!!!

Mary MOB

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WE LOVE YOU MARY!!!!!

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Posted by Sharron70

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Posted by debismom

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Posted by jessnstu08

that is kind of rude of that girl , after you told her nicely no babies and explained the space issues. what about her husband , why can' t he watch his child for a few hours , jeez..

I don't understand people....

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Hi, Jessica!!!!! Well, they live on a farm, and this gal already told Debi, they can't come to the wedding, because her DH can't leave the farm. I don't know their family situation, as far as people to babysit. Thanks!!! Mary MOB

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While I sympathize with their situation, not to sound mean, not your problem.

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Brava!

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Posted by debismom

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Posted by jessnstu08

that is kind of rude of that girl , after you told her nicely no babies and explained the space issues. what about her husband , why can' t he watch his child for a few hours , jeez..

I don't understand people....

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Hi, Jessica!!!!! Well, they live on a farm, and this gal already told Debi, they can't come to the wedding, because her DH can't leave the farm. I don't know their family situation, as far as people to babysit. Thanks!!! Mary MOB

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Hi Mary,

DH can't leave the farm? I guess i don't understand farm life

Do you think debi will be ok with it? If it was my friend and there was no choice but to have the baby there, I would rather have my friend come with the baby then not come at all