Brides Helping Brides ™ - Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 27, 2004 12:34 PM

Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

My husband and I are very very interested in adopting..we have been looking on websites and every place we contact has a different price..its amazing how nothing is consistent! We found two sisters, ages 6 and 7 in Eastern Europe and just completley fell in love with them..but dont know how we could ever afford them..I hate to put a price on a child, but arent they less expensive if they are older? Does anyone know of any reputable agencies..or does anyone have any info on how to save money or finance such an expensive alternative??? Thank you soooo much!!

Maribelle7777 Posted: Sep 27, 2004 12:39 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

Hi Alicia

Friends of my best friend adopted 3 children (they saw a brother and sister (twins) and fell in love with them but didn't want to adopt them and not their older sister so they adopted all 3). They are Eastern European. They are so sweet! I think the older the children are the 'price' is less since it's harder to adopt as the prices goes up. But I don't think you necessarily have to pay, do you?

Contact the NJ Archdiocese - they have charities that may deal with adoption agencies.

Good luck!!!

Oh wait a minute - the same best friend I know was adopted herself! I'll find out the information for you and FM you tonight.

usuk2004 Posted: Sep 27, 2004 12:47 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

My grandmother adopted my aunt through a convent in Queens. It was 30 years ago, so even if I knew a *price* I don't think it would be relevant.

A gay couple I know just adopted a baby boy. They spent about $10,000 in newspaper classified ads in an attempt to just contact a willing mother. but, their adoption was private and they paid her medical bills (plus anythign else this crazy woman claimed was 'for the baby') I think that's the type of situation you would want to avoid. I agree, it's probably safest and most affordable to go through a church organization.

Also, I just want to say that it's so wonderful that you and your husband are so interested in adopting a child. My grandparents had foster children for many years. They had my aunt as a foster child since she was 4 days old and when her parents decided to finally put her up for adoption, she was nearly 2 years old. My grandparents were just in love with her and couldn't let her go. My aunt (who is only 2 years older than me and like a sister and was my MOH) and my grandmother ahve a great relationship and my aunt is so content with the way her life worked out that she has no desire to contact her birth parents. She truly feels that my grandmother is the only mother she'll ever need.

It takes a special kind of person to adopt but it's such a wonderful thing to do for a child. Good luck!!!

Lisa Rose Posted: Sep 27, 2004 01:06 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

My husband and I have been looking into it and depending on the country, the total cost can range from $25-$40K!!!

Someone I work with just adopted a baby from China. It took them 2 years and $40K later but they have their boy!!

Of course a private adoption would be much more $$$$

Good Luck!

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 27, 2004 01:08 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

Thanks so much you guys!! We are working on having our own children...but experiencing some problems..so I started looking into adoption..and now i cant stop looking..I want to adopt even if we are able to conceive ourselves. I should be studying..(grad student)..but all I can think about is adopting. I will make decent money once I graduate..so money wont always be an issue..but for now to try and get two sisters in Eastern Europe seems impossible. It doesnt seem fair that these kids need good homes but they come with a 17,000 price per child. I keep praying that I will win the lottery..I would adopt a bunch of children and be so good to them. UGH>..I am going to go through the home study process and then see what my options are. I found some places that offer grants..and maybe Ill have alot of garage sales..theres gotta be a way I can do this!!!
Thanks again for your advice!!!

eogara Posted: Sep 27, 2004 01:10 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

I don't have any info to share with you. I just wanted to let you know that I think that adopting, especially an older child, is one of the most amazing things a person can do. I would absolutely love to adopt but FH is very set on having our own kids (providing, of course, we're lucky enough to be able to), at least first. I think there are special places held for people who adopt a needy child.

Janice Posted: Sep 27, 2004 01:24 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

just a side note, they saw that adoption is the best way to increase fertility. I know of 3 instances!!!!

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 27, 2004 01:26 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

Thankyou!! I saw these two sisters and they are just so cute..I dont mind the age..I think it would be great!! Im in the right field (Family therapy) that if they were abused as children..I know exactly who to take them to for help. I cant stop thinking about this..I wish it could happen now!!!

goingtobemrs Posted: Sep 27, 2004 02:09 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

My friend at work adopted 2 boys from Russia. You do get a lot of the money back in your taxes. I think she got back $10,000 per kid. She tried adopting in the US but they took her money and screwed her and she didn't get it back.

nov04LIbride Posted: Sep 27, 2004 02:13 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

My aunt adopted two sisters from Boston--10 and 11. It is hard--they had many issues stemming from abuse and neglect during their childhood--but she treats them so well they must think they died and went to heaven! Best of luck to you!

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 27, 2004 02:14 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

Thanks for that information!! I did read about that tax break..thats awesome!!! Do you know what agency your friend went through? I am terrified of having someone take what little money we have and ripping us off..I want to be sure its a reputable place!! Thanks so much!!

goingtobemrs Posted: Sep 27, 2004 02:16 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

I will ask her. She doesn't come into work until Wed. Can you FM me and remind me on Wed.? I know in the US she had to pay the girl's bills while she was prego and the girl was totally taking advantage of her. That is when she wanted a newborn though. She got the cutest little blonde boys from Russia!

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 27, 2004 02:16 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

I did read about alot of abuse..its so sad..many kids are in orphaneges because of neglect abuse, many parents have died. It is so terribly sad. I am surrounded by excellent counselors ona dialy basis..so hopefully if there were issues of abuse I would be able to get them the help they needed to grow in healthy direction.!!

goingtobemrs Posted: Sep 27, 2004 02:16 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

BTW - That is so great of you to have the heart to do that!

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 27, 2004 02:18 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

Thankyou!! I will FM you..I really appreciate it!!!! Im so excited!!!

Kelly9904 Posted: Sep 27, 2004 02:48 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

My BIL & SIL just adopted a beautiful baby from China! She is such a pleasure to have around!!!!
They went through New Beginnings Agency The website has a lot of information!

http://www.new-beginnings.org/

My niece Emily (13 months old when adopted, now 16 months old) is amazing! And she has 2 adopted cousins who came through the same agency (one from China, one from Korea.) It took about 18 months for the whole process, but China is much more strict with their rules and whatnot. I believe they aslo require that you spend 7-10 days in China when you get your child. You spend the time touring the country before you meet your child.

My cousin just adopted an 11 year old boy from Russia, but they are in MO. Anyway, from my BIL going through the process, I would just say be careful with some of the countries. Some dont have very strict rules regarding adoption and often times lie about the medical needs/history of the child. I believe that Russia has been in the news in the past for this happening.

Good Luck. Its an amazing thing to save a child and give them a good home!!!!

nferrandi Posted: Sep 27, 2004 02:51 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

Why don't you look into foster care in this country. You could be a foster parent and I don't believe you have to pay anything. As far as I understand, I even think that they give you money to help care for the child. That may be the most cost effective way for you and DH to get a child. Otherwise, you really need to be able to spend somewhere in the range of $25-40K

ETS: call your insurance companies, because some will give you money towards adoption.

takeoutcook Posted: Sep 27, 2004 03:04 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

a friend of mine and his wife just adopted a young girl from China. . . money was very much of an issue for them and he said (i didnt ask for the amount that they paid) that it wasn't as much money as he thought it would be originally. They adopted their daughter on her first birthday.

Good luck to you and your husband - I'm sure any child would be very very lucky to have you two as parents.

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 27, 2004 03:25 PM

Re: Has Anyone adopted? How expensive is it?

Oh wow!!! Thanks everyone for your information and suggestions. I did look into foster care..but there is the huge chance that the child is there temporarily and that would kill me. A friend of mine a supervisor for DYFS and the goal of fosetr care is to reunite the child with their boiologival parents..its a great thing..but I dont think I could take care of achild and then watch them walk out my door. It would be heartbreaking and I dont think its a risk i could take. I will check out New beginnings..thank you everyone for all of your information!!!! Im very excited!!!