sorry...I know people feel like they have to 'fall in love with their dress,' but come on. It drives me nuts that people look at such superficial aspects of weddings & stress out over the littlest things. It is not like she is wanting you to wear some hidious dress that she wore years ago. It was a dress that you tried on & looked beautiful in.
Most people in your shoes would feel so lucky & happy that a sick mother is able to share in such special things, such as the dress hunting & your wedding in general. She bought you a beautiful dress, and layed out a lot of $. It seems like you are being so ungreatful about the gift she gave you & at how lucky you are that she is well enough to enjoy it with you.
In all honesty, if you really don't want her help...don't pretend that you do. Plan you wedding on your own & just enjoy it when she spends it with you.
I know I will take some remarks on my comments, but I really dont care. I have less than a month before I get married & I am trying to enjoy it as much as possible. It seems that so many people on here forget that weddings are about family & enjoying a special day with the people closest to you. It's not all about spending $ 60K and being nit-picky over every minute detail. Best of luck in your decision!
BKtoLI
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??
I understand what you're saying and it was important for me that my mother love the dress as much as I do. Especially since I am her only daughter, so I know what this means to her.
I know they were generous enough in paying for half the dress. I didn't even ask them to do that, I was fully prepared to pay for it myself, I just didn't have the deposit on me that day. I appreciate the fact that they did that, in fact I was really surprised at their generosity.
What gets me is that I told my mother numerous times while I still had the dress on to let me find it on Long Island, instead of having to travel to Brooklyn in the middle of winter for fittings. My FH wasn't happy about it either because our car has over 95,000 miles on it and it's 100 miles to Brooklyn and back. I feel like she just went and made the decision for me, she didn't even let me try on more dresses, just went upstairs and paid the deposit before I could do anything about it. That, and the way I was treated there was horrendous. I would have paid double to go to another salon. I only picked it because it was close by my mother's house.
In retrospect, I guess there are worse things in the world than to have this dress. Funny thing is, I wanted something original, and now I find out that this dress is only carried at 3 other salons in all of NYS. One of them (Bridal Suite of Patchogue, where I almost went to back then) carried it, but went out of business. THANK GOD I didn't go there!!!
BTW, Christine, don't kill me but leave it to me to fall in love with a Maggie Sottero I found today..... (Capri)
BKtoLI
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??
Posted by imyurfavgirl
I had Pat she got on my last nerve.... she was kissing my a**. She told me that my dress would take a year to come in and then when i went back to leave half of my deposit (i went when she wasnt there)another lady claudette told me it would take about 8-9 months...i dont want to deal with her anymore. If they would have done that too me i would have threw the dress in her face and walked out.
Funny, Claudette was the one who tried to tell me that my dress had 2 inches to play with at the bottom or that it could be shortened at the waist!!! Had they done that, the dress would have been ruined, and according to the manufacturer, I would have had to order a new one or it wouldn't look normal!!!
This may sound like a crazy idea, but what if you wear that dress for the ceremony to make your parents happy, and then wear one that you really love for the reception? Its such a tough situation, I am not really sure what to suggest. The dress is very pretty though.
Thats a great idea, if it is possible for you, wear both dresses and make everyone happy.
otherme
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??
No matter what anyone else says - you have to be happy with the dress. I'm sorry, but its such a big part of the day and you'll be in it all day. You'll be seeing it whenever you look at the pictures. You don't want to be remembering your day and thinking 'if only i wasn't in that dress'. Don't get me wrong, its a beautiful dress, but so what? so many of them are! Its the principal of it all. I understand your mom wanting to be there and help you pick out a dress, but putting a deposit down before you even tried on any other dresses? Come on, thats not fair. I would go try on other dresses and see if you can find something that you're happy with. Then see if you can either switch the deposit or get it back and i would definitely offer to pay your dad back (although its their fault for jumping the gun, its a way to make the peace) Good luck with this one!
Marie0157
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??
I'm a mom.
Why not wear that dress for the ceremony and buy the red dress for the party. Plenty of brides change out of their wedding dress into a pretty dress. This way mom is happy and you are happy.
It is a beautiful dress but you also need to be happy.
tjs
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??
first of all let me say you have great taste capri is my dress!!!!! love it!!!! i actually ordered capri marie the top is different.....but i was going to say the same thing can you wear the dress for the wedding and the red for the reception?
since they have already put the deposit down i suggest wearing that dress for the ceremony and getting the dress you want for the reception. you can even have pictures in both dresses. this way everyone wins.
KerriSteve
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??
If it were me I would stick with the dress my mom picked out.... I know it's your wedding but if your mom is sick & this dress makes her happy... I dunno thats me.
BKtoLI
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??
I am bumping this because unfortunately even with my dress now in, I still pretty much feel the same way. It has been driving me crazy even since back when I originally posted this thread back in August. So it goes to show you how I have been agonizing over this.
Here's a pic of me in the dress since I went to visit it when it came in. I am not happy that my tattoo is showing (something I was looking to cover in any dress I picked) and 2 dresses I am close to buying on Ebay....
i think the dress looks good on you!! but you have to feel comfortable in it and you have to feel like it looks good on you...
as for the tatoo, you can always have your makeup person cover it for you!!
that really stinks that your parents bullyed you into a dress...
BlueTulip
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)
All of these dresses are lovely though I don't think the ones you are looking at would cover your tattoo any better then the dress you already have. I am sorry you are still conflicted-ultimately I think you should wear a dress that you will be happy in. If you've found a dress that you feel better about, and you can afford the additional expense-I would probably get it.
mtdr1106
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)
IMO - i would make my mom happy..especially since they already put down a deposit. it would just cause more stress and anxietyto fight with them over it.
BUT i would see if it is at all possible for you to find another seamstress that could not only alter the dress the correct way - but maybe add a little red into it. (maybe a sash or sequins or something) that way everyone is happy.
this is a sticky situatution - i wish you a lot of luck
weddingbunny
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)
I have to agree that neither of the others you are looking at on ebay is going to do anything better for your tattoo... and that second ebay one looks really similar to the one you already have! What would be the point in that?
While I totally understand wanting to have a dress that you love, I really don't subscribe to the 'it's your day, and your happiness is the most important thing' philosophy. Your parents have already paid a rather substantial amount of money for this dress, and your mother loves it and wants to see her daughter married in it. to me, that's pretty darn important as well - women may dream of their weddings from the time they are little kids, but mother dream of their daughters weddings from before those daughters are born. I don't think it was right for your parents to railroad you into buying the dress, but that's what happened, and judging from your choices on ebay, it seems like it's almost become more the idea of it all than the dress itself that bothers you.
(and about the tattoo thing - they can do wonders with makeup. I wouldn't worry about it, if it bothers you... although if you liked it enough to brand yourself with it for life, I don't see why you shouldn't show it off at your wedding!)
Joyous1995
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)
If you can find the money I would wear two dresses. One for the ceremony and one for the reception.
October Bliss
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)
Janna - I remember when you first posted this dilemna of yours. Not knowing you at the time, I didn't comment. Now, however, I see what you mean about a red dress being you. I also can't help but wonder if your subconcious took over and that is why your dress doesn't zip.
As for the two other dresses you posted, the second one is so close to the one you have, I wouldn't bother. The Maggie is beautiful, but I wouldn't order it from e-bay without going to a store and trying it on. Also, if I'm not mistaken, I've seen that Maggie in red in the bridal magazines.
As for the tatoo, mine is clearly visible in my dress. I am in fact having it touched up in August for the October wedding, since it is so old it is very faded. If you are that concerned about yours - definitely find those dresses and try them on before buying anything off ebay - they don't look like they will hide it.
BKtoLI
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)
I tried on the Maggie (the one on Ebay is a replica) and I fell in love with it. Of course the downside is Andrew saw me in it, because I had it on when he walked in the dress shop!!! This was back in September.
And my dress definitely could have zipped up as displayed by exhibit A below. They just didn't want to take any chances because it was not paid in full at that time.
I still have that Maggie saved on my computer. It's been driving me nuts and nagging me in the back of my head. Makes me wonder if the deposit that is there can be applied to another dress, but I doubt it.
I don't know what to do. Having 2 dresses might be a PITA considering our ceremony is at the hall and there is no break in between the ceremony and the CH.
Hopefully I will have this figured out by the end of the week.
You FM'ed me a while ago telling me how you wanted to wear a red dress and your parents shang-hi you into this one. I will you now what I told you then. I would sell the dress your parents bought you on ebay and with your own money get the dress you want. Pay your parents back and thank them, but you want to wear what makes you happy. Explain that dress wasn't for you, it wasn't what you wanted.
You see your an adult now. A wedding is suppose to be the first ceremony that you are incontrol of. Your starting a new life, your a complete adult. Your ready to be a parent yourself, is now time for your parents to let go and let you be the woman you are. They have picking out what you wear since you were a little girl, but your not any more. You owe yourself this.
EmberLynn
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)
Posted by Marie0157
I'm a mom.
Why not wear that dress for the ceremony and buy the red dress for the party. Plenty of brides change out of their wedding dress into a pretty dress. This way mom is happy and you are happy.
It is a beautiful dress but you also need to be happy.
Because the ceremony counts the most. I'm changing out of my ceremony dress into a more comfortable reception dress. You know what I'm sure my inlaws would rather I wear the reception dress to the ceremony and never even wear my cermony dress, but its important to me. Its my wedding and I'm an adult and I can wear what I want. This is the same for this bride.
I'm sorry her mother is sick and that they disagree. But this is her wedding.
Jaims0603
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Re: Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)
I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I like the idea of wearing two dresses to keep the peace.
