Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)

BKtoLI Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:20 PM

Help!! Would this be horrible?? (update)

I have a dilemma and maybe it's just me, but it has been bothering me for 2 months now, and I need some advice.

I went dress shopping back in June. I really wanted my mom there with me because this is important to her, and although she is sick, she managed to come out one day.

She picked out a dress and it was the first one I tried on. (Mind you I had fallen in love with another dress, but she didn't like it on me.) She loved the one she picked, and I admit that I did look great in it. Other people were oohing and ahhing. I really liked it, but I didn't have that 'I'm in love with it, this is the one' feeling, you know?

So she was insistent on getting this dress, but I told her to let me check other places. I wasn't crazy about the bridal shop we were at because it's 50 miles from me, and the sales staff was not the best. Plus I didn't want to settle on the first dress I tried.

Well by the time I got dressed and went upstairs, my parents had paid the deposit on that dress!! I was pissed to say the least. She didn't give me a choice. I argued with them for days afterward. My FH said well she is sick, will this dress make her happy, and I said yes, but ultimately I'm the one wearing it. Shouldn't I be happy too?

Fast forward to last month when I went to that same bridal shop for my BM dresses. Again, we were completely ignored and took matters into our own hands. It wasn't until an hour that we finally got some help. Then I figured as long as I was there, I would show them my dress. I tried it on and it was way too long. (I had my shoes on that day.) I asked if it could be shortened. They said I had 2 inches to play with on the bottom, or it could be taken in from the waist. I find out from the manufacturer and another bridal salon that carries this dress that THIS IS NOT THE CASE!!! Doing what they suggested would completely ruin the dress. I made sure then she took a hollow to hem measurement. So now I pray for the best. Although I am tempted to get alterations done elsewhere as I have heard nothing but bad things about this place.

My question is this. I know this dress makes my mother happy, but I can't help but feeling that this is not the one. I originally wanted a red wedding dress, as twisted as that is, but it's what would make me happy. Granted everyone flipped out, but I'm the one who would be wearing it, and those that know me know that a red dress would be completely me.

Would I be wrong to look for another dress and force my father to be out the $700 deposit he placed? Or should I just take this with a grain of salt and be happy that my mother is happy? I mean the dress is beautiful, but I am not ecstatic about it.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:21 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

why would your mom tell you what dress to get? doesn't she want you to pick it out?

jimmysgrl Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:22 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

That is a hard one........could you pay your dad back the $700 because that would probably the fairest and make everyone the happiest.

stephanief Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:24 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

I think that you should get the dress you want. But for your dad to be out 700 bucks? That's not fair for him either. Maybe you should give him back half of his deposit. I don't know, this is a tricky situation.

BKtoLI Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:26 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

She had asked me 'what about this one', and I thought it was pretty so I tried it on. However she forced me to buy it by placing the deposit without consulting me. My name isn't even on the receipt!!!! It's under my mother's name and paid for with my father's credit card!!

I thought about paying my father back the $700 but my FH says I should just take the dress and grin and bear it. If I had the cash right now, I would but looking for a job has my finances on hold.

Blu-ize Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:31 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

It sounds like your parents really don't want you to wear a red dress.

BKtoLI Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:33 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

Posted by Blu-ize

It sounds like your parents really don't want you to wear a red dress.

Tell me about it, actually nobody does except for FH's brother who thinks it's a great idea and some of my friends who know that would be just like me to wear one!!!

ssbride05 Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:35 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

Posted by Blu-ize

It sounds like your parents really don't want you to wear a red dress.

I agree.. but I also think you should get what you want since it's your day

Maybe you can work something out with your dad in paying him back the money... I would seriously talk to them about it. Maybe there is also a way for you to compromise with them in getting the dress you want and making them happy..

Good luck!!

PrincessConsuela Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:39 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

if you are not 100% sure of your dress then you have to do what makes YOU happy.

that is what i am going to do!!!

good luck!

Soon2BeMrs2006 Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:44 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

do you have pics of the dress

ChrissynRicky Posted: Aug 15, 2005 02:55 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

Did you talk to your Dad about this?

I'm sorry, but it's your wedding, and most especially YOU ARE WEARING the dress, not your mother - it should solely be your decision and not your mother's.

I would try to definitely get the deposit back and tell them that the wedding was called off, and that this is NOT the dress you wanted.

BKtoLI Posted: Aug 15, 2005 03:04 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

Here's the dress I currently have.

I spoke to my father, but he asked me 'what do you want me to do?' and my mother kept telling me to calm down and not to worry. Augh!!

ChrissynRicky Posted: Aug 15, 2005 03:08 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

Janna, it's a GORGEOUS dress!

What do you want to get?

imyurfavgirl Posted: Aug 15, 2005 03:09 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

Its your dress and it should be your choice. Why dont you see if you can change the dress and find the one you want. Just tell your parents that you arent in love with it and feel that its not the 'one'. I would hope that they understand. The salon is the same place where i got mine. Who helped you at?

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Aug 15, 2005 03:13 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

This may sound like a crazy idea, but what if you wear that dress for the ceremony to make your parents happy, and then wear one that you really love for the reception?
Its such a tough situation, I am not really sure what to suggest.
The dress is very pretty though.

Suzannebride Posted: Aug 15, 2005 03:17 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

I don't suppose there is any way you could dye the dress red? Best of both worlds?

BKtoLI Posted: Aug 15, 2005 03:23 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

Posted by imyurfavgirl

Its your dress and it should be your choice. Why dont you see if you can change the dress and find the one you want. Just tell your parents that you arent in love with it and feel that its not the 'one'. I would hope that they understand. The salon is the same place where i got mine. Who helped you at?

Rosemarie helped me. As soon as I said I didn't have the cash for the deposit, she threw her hands up and walked away, leaving me to get out of the dress on my own. What kind of service is that?!

imyurfavgirl Posted: Aug 15, 2005 03:29 PM

Re: Help!! Would this be horrible??

I had Pat she got on my last nerve.... she was kissing my a**. She told me that my dress would take a year to come in and then when i went back to leave half of my deposit (i went when she wasnt there)another lady claudette told me it would take about 8-9 months...i dont want to deal with her anymore. If they would have done that too me i would have threw the dress in her face and walked out.