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Hi ladies...
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Re: Hi ladies...
OMG that is TERRIBLE!!!!!!!
Everything you have done, moving out ring off ect, I probably would have done myself!
GUYS STINK!!! Just when you think something is good, something bad happens!
I tell FH all the time he is too perfect & he's going to wind up turning into Tiger Woods or something!
I'm glad you vented. You need it! Get it all off your chest. We are ALL here for you. You do not deserve this. Maybe he was TOO DRUNK to remember what he did. I don't know you or him to judge your relationship.
Keep your head up & only you can decide what to do next! GOOD LUCK & remember we are ALL HERE FOR YOU!!!
Everything you have done, moving out ring off ect, I probably would have done myself!
GUYS STINK!!! Just when you think something is good, something bad happens!
I tell FH all the time he is too perfect & he's going to wind up turning into Tiger Woods or something!
I'm glad you vented. You need it! Get it all off your chest. We are ALL here for you. You do not deserve this. Maybe he was TOO DRUNK to remember what he did. I don't know you or him to judge your relationship.
Keep your head up & only you can decide what to do next! GOOD LUCK & remember we are ALL HERE FOR YOU!!!
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Re: Hi ladies...
Jillian I am soooo sorry to hear that and feel so bad!
I don't even know what to say or what advice to possibly give.. My opinion is I think you're making the right choices right now you need some time to step back and work this out for yourself before you can work it out with FH.
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Keep us updated, and let us know if you need anything!
I don't even know what to say or what advice to possibly give.. My opinion is I think you're making the right choices right now you need some time to step back and work this out for yourself before you can work it out with FH.
Keep us updated, and let us know if you need anything!
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Re: Hi ladies...
hey, sorry for crashing but i read your story and feel like i need to chime in.
only you know what's best for you guys. you may be able to work things out. If you do, i think you should set up limits for his drinking though to ensure this doesn't happen again (since his excuse was that he was so drunk he didn't know what he was doing, then he shouldn't be able to get so drunk anymore!).
if you want to work it out, it's definitely do-able and you will move on from the anger you're feeling right now ... but if you don't want to work it out, that's totally understandable as well and you will move on from the sadness.
good luck with whichever route you take and i'm so so sorry that happened to you!
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only you know what's best for you guys. you may be able to work things out. If you do, i think you should set up limits for his drinking though to ensure this doesn't happen again (since his excuse was that he was so drunk he didn't know what he was doing, then he shouldn't be able to get so drunk anymore!).
if you want to work it out, it's definitely do-able and you will move on from the anger you're feeling right now ... but if you don't want to work it out, that's totally understandable as well and you will move on from the sadness.
good luck with whichever route you take and i'm so so sorry that happened to you!
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Re: Hi ladies...
well I'm sitting here thinking of what to say and really I have nothing helpful :(
I'm just so sorry this happened.
Take your time deciding what to do.
I'm just so sorry this happened.
Take your time deciding what to do.
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Re: Hi ladies...
Member since
Re: Hi ladies...
Sounds like he is sorry & knows he did something wrong.
But if it were me, I would get SOOO worried everytime he drank from here on out!
You do whats best for you. Only you know FH
But if it were me, I would get SOOO worried everytime he drank from here on out!
You do whats best for you. Only you know FH
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Re: Hi ladies...
I am so sorry to hear this. I say do what you feel is right. It may be a while, but you have to rebuild trust, and maybe he should see someone to discuss the excessive drinking. The drunkeness should not be used as an excuse, but as you explained he did seem to be pretty out of it. Good Luck
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Re: Hi ladies...
I'm so sorry Jillian, and I don't mean to be insensitive when I say this but in a nutshell, men are stupid. That's my summation for the ridiculous drunken behavior at the e-party!
Ok, my FH and I are already married. Before we got married, I looked in his phone once by mistake (we have the same phone) and a text message from some girl greeted me. I won't go into details, but after a much heated argument and severe punishment from me, we have never had this type of problem again. I'm not telling you what to do, but men make stupid mistakes. I could not see punishing him forever!
Think about how much your relationship means to you and the risks involved with forgiving him. Then, think about how you'd feel if he was out of your life forever. Is it worth it?
If you don't think this is repairable, then you will have to start the emotional separation process now (HARD)! If you think somehow this is an isolated, drunken (though not excusable) incident, and you want to forgive him, do that. Do NOT let anyone influence what you choose to do. No one knows what's best for you except you.
Sidebar: I hate to say this, but women can be very catty and jealous, and I'm a woman! That being said, that heffa knew dam well what she was doing, so don't blame her. She's jealous and catty. Always deal with your FH for his crap! He should not have allowed himself to get to that point and in the future (if you choose for there to be one) he would be on extreme liquor probation.
Do what your hearts wants you to do...![]()
Ok, my FH and I are already married. Before we got married, I looked in his phone once by mistake (we have the same phone) and a text message from some girl greeted me. I won't go into details, but after a much heated argument and severe punishment from me, we have never had this type of problem again. I'm not telling you what to do, but men make stupid mistakes. I could not see punishing him forever!
Think about how much your relationship means to you and the risks involved with forgiving him. Then, think about how you'd feel if he was out of your life forever. Is it worth it?
If you don't think this is repairable, then you will have to start the emotional separation process now (HARD)! If you think somehow this is an isolated, drunken (though not excusable) incident, and you want to forgive him, do that. Do NOT let anyone influence what you choose to do. No one knows what's best for you except you.
Sidebar: I hate to say this, but women can be very catty and jealous, and I'm a woman! That being said, that heffa knew dam well what she was doing, so don't blame her. She's jealous and catty. Always deal with your FH for his crap! He should not have allowed himself to get to that point and in the future (if you choose for there to be one) he would be on extreme liquor probation.
Do what your hearts wants you to do...
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Re: Hi ladies...
Posted by S00n2beWifey
I have been with him for 4 1/2 years now and know he isnt an alcoholic
i didn't mean to make it sound like he's an alcoholic. but he def drinks more than he should at times. it might be just once a year, but if he blanks out and 'forgets about you' (your words, not mine) then it's too much for that day.
his willingness to change himself and do anything in order to win you back is definitely a good sign. you can definitely work things out and get past this .... but only if you want to, obviously
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Re: Hi ladies...
I would be worried if what if he gets drunk again? what if you weren't there? what if you didn't catch him? would he have ever said anything? what other drunk incidents has he had? those would be all the things running through my head right now.
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Re: Hi ladies...
First off, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It seems as though he is genuinely sorry, which is good.
However, my concern would be that if he gets this drunk again (lets say his bachelor party) and ends up doing something with some girl, and lets say catches something and goes back to you and gives it to you- then how would you feel? It seems as though you would have to babysit him all the time when it came to alcohol and that is not fair to you. You deserve to be happy and feel that you are in a safe and stable relationship. If he is blacking out to the point where he doesn't even know where he lives- I would be very concerned. I would follow your heart in this matter and you already probably know what that is.
However, my concern would be that if he gets this drunk again (lets say his bachelor party) and ends up doing something with some girl, and lets say catches something and goes back to you and gives it to you- then how would you feel? It seems as though you would have to babysit him all the time when it came to alcohol and that is not fair to you. You deserve to be happy and feel that you are in a safe and stable relationship. If he is blacking out to the point where he doesn't even know where he lives- I would be very concerned. I would follow your heart in this matter and you already probably know what that is.
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Re: Hi ladies...
I am so sorry this happened!!! I really don't know what else to say but you really have to decide what is best for you!! I think everything you did so far is the right thing to do but only time will tell ya know!! We are here for you!!!! ![]()
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Re: Hi ladies...
You gotta do what your heart tells you.
And if you can forgive him and move passed this incident.. then maybe couples counseling will help. I would take some time and think this through and not make any decisions out of hurt and/or anger.
And if you can forgive him and move passed this incident.. then maybe couples counseling will help. I would take some time and think this through and not make any decisions out of hurt and/or anger.
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Re: Hi ladies...
I'm so sorry this happened... this is my absolute biggest fear and number one reason I'm terrified of getting married (I really am and FH knows it).
There is absolutely nothing I can say to make it better, but you need to look at yourself and know that if you do take him back, are you going to question everything he does at all times, when he goes out for the night without you, are you going to trust him? Because even though he lost your trust, he will have to get it back for your relationship to go on. And it may get better with lots of counseling, I know I would never be able to do it without counseling, but I don't know if I could even get that far in your shoes, I really feel for you and I'm glad you felt you could open up to us.
I read a line in an article yesterday and I've been thinking about it since I did...'Marriage is a leap of faith... in fact, that may be the best thing about it.'
When you get married and commit to someone for the rest of your life you are going on faith that they will hold up their side of the bargain.. it may take you some time before you know whether or not you can, don't rush it, its your own personal decision.
There is absolutely nothing I can say to make it better, but you need to look at yourself and know that if you do take him back, are you going to question everything he does at all times, when he goes out for the night without you, are you going to trust him? Because even though he lost your trust, he will have to get it back for your relationship to go on. And it may get better with lots of counseling, I know I would never be able to do it without counseling, but I don't know if I could even get that far in your shoes, I really feel for you and I'm glad you felt you could open up to us.
I read a line in an article yesterday and I've been thinking about it since I did...'Marriage is a leap of faith... in fact, that may be the best thing about it.'
When you get married and commit to someone for the rest of your life you are going on faith that they will hold up their side of the bargain.. it may take you some time before you know whether or not you can, don't rush it, its your own personal decision.
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Re: Hi ladies...
If I may chime in and maybe offer some feedback from a man?
Around the age of I'd say 23 - 25 depending on the guy/girl it becomes apparent to some of us that it's time we settle down and really take a look at our lives. We realize we have to save money for a wedding, want a nice house/apt etc, and basically start looking for someone to spend the rest of our lives with. The idiots sleeping with a different woman every night and going out partying arent men, they are boys, still looking for a college lifestyle and pornographic persona.
With that said, some of us even when we get into the marriage and husband mind set do still have our vices and toys. I for one drink occasionally and get drunk and I also have a weekend muscle car that I tinker with. BUT... I respect my fiancee and would never do anything to embarrass her or put our relationship in harms way. Granted there were times I may have behaved like a drunken fool and my fiancee probably wished she didnt know me. There is a certain line as men we know not to cross when we are drunk. We know that no matter how drunk we get there is no excuse for hitting on, or behaving the way your fiance' did Jillian. I will jokingly hit on my friends and my best girlfriends but its unacceptable to have a girl in your lap or her hands around your neck.
It's in my sincerest and personal opinion that there is an issue your fiance' is not sharing with you. No happy man is going to behave the way he did at his engagement party or in general. Without knowing David it's hard to say how he is or what u should or shouldn't do. I can only say that if you decide to try and work things out you make sure all the cards are on the table. I'd rather everything be clear as day now and any resentments or issues be brought to light while they can be fixed than later on down the road when/if they become too far gone to fix.
/rant
Around the age of I'd say 23 - 25 depending on the guy/girl it becomes apparent to some of us that it's time we settle down and really take a look at our lives. We realize we have to save money for a wedding, want a nice house/apt etc, and basically start looking for someone to spend the rest of our lives with. The idiots sleeping with a different woman every night and going out partying arent men, they are boys, still looking for a college lifestyle and pornographic persona.
With that said, some of us even when we get into the marriage and husband mind set do still have our vices and toys. I for one drink occasionally and get drunk and I also have a weekend muscle car that I tinker with. BUT... I respect my fiancee and would never do anything to embarrass her or put our relationship in harms way. Granted there were times I may have behaved like a drunken fool and my fiancee probably wished she didnt know me. There is a certain line as men we know not to cross when we are drunk. We know that no matter how drunk we get there is no excuse for hitting on, or behaving the way your fiance' did Jillian. I will jokingly hit on my friends and my best girlfriends but its unacceptable to have a girl in your lap or her hands around your neck.
It's in my sincerest and personal opinion that there is an issue your fiance' is not sharing with you. No happy man is going to behave the way he did at his engagement party or in general. Without knowing David it's hard to say how he is or what u should or shouldn't do. I can only say that if you decide to try and work things out you make sure all the cards are on the table. I'd rather everything be clear as day now and any resentments or issues be brought to light while they can be fixed than later on down the road when/if they become too far gone to fix.
/rant
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Re: Hi ladies...
I'm so glad there's a groom in here. I've always been so bummed there weren't any in the 2011 group.
Thanks so much for chiming in. Honestly, I agree with you but I didn't feel comfortable saying anything. I've seen my FH so drunk he didn't know his name, but yet, he came looking for me to molest.
I hope she hangs in there and realizes that this isn't her fault.
Thanks so much for chiming in. Honestly, I agree with you but I didn't feel comfortable saying anything. I've seen my FH so drunk he didn't know his name, but yet, he came looking for me to molest.
I hope she hangs in there and realizes that this isn't her fault.
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Re: Hi ladies...
I just created my account and this is the first chain I saw. First I would like to say that I am a groom. For any groom to really share their opinion is pointless. Spicymeatball looks like a great guy and really calls out this FH, but in reality what do you expect spicymeatball to say. His fiance is obviously going to read this. Do you expect him to say guys make mistakes sometimes or maybe the girl who was in between his legs just arrived there on her own accord and in FH's drunken state he was trying to push her away but when you're drunk, you have slow reaction time. Jillian, you need to make the decision yourself. My uncle did something similar on his wedding day! I know it is horrible and he knew too, but now, 15 years later they are probably the happiest married couple I have ever seen. I can honestly say I have been out to bars and clubs with him and he would never even talk to a woman, let alone touch one. So in summation, people make mistakes, such is life, if you truly love him then you know what the right thing to do is.
