Hi ladies...

First of all, I am SO sorry you are going through this.

I am not trying to defend your FH at all by any means, but if he was really as drunk as you say he was, to the point of blacking out, then it is safe to say he had no idea what he was doing... I am sure he didn't consciously make the decision to cheat on you or even to hurt you. I know this is hard to understand, and obviously as an adult, he should have been more responsible and he should NOT have been drinking to that point, especially at his own engagement party, but I am sure he is HATING himself right now. The bottom line is that people make mistakes, and that is not just an excuse. He made a huge mistake, one that he will be regretting for as long as he will live. I think that if you really love him and think that he will make a good husband, then you need to think about what you need to do. You are the only person that can make this decision.

If you do decide to give him another chance and to work things out, then he needs to make a serious change in his habits.. it's ok to go out but it is not ok to drink to the point of blacking out, because things happen that are beyond our control when we do. I also think you need to ask him if anything like this has happened before... like when he was out with friends.

You are going to have so many people telling you that you don't deserve this, which you definitely don't, but keep in mind that this man loved you and proposed to you and obviously loves you. Don't just throw that all away without really thinking about what it is that you want.

I think you did the right thing by moving out, give yourself some time to think things through and decide what it is that you want. If you can find it in you to forgive him and move on, then you will have some work to do but you can definitely make your marriage work. If you cannot see past this and if you can't trust him, then you might decide that the relationship cannot be repaired. Bottom line is, you have to decide what it is that is going to make you happy. If he makes you happy, and if you can see yourself making a family with him, you might decide to give him another chance.

Good luck, you will make the right decision in the end.

Alcohol is no excuse for something that was done. whether he doesnt remember anything, or remembers everything.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Whatever choice you make I wish you the best.

I am very sorry to here this happened to you.

I dont know what to say, but take this time to get your thoughts together and do what is best for you.

11er crashing....

I think the most important thing to FORGET here is this other person (the girl). Right now your issue isnt w/ her.. you arent engaged to her and this didnt happen at her party...This is strictly and issue between you and FH... so the whole he said she said stuff is really irrelevant.

You and FH need to have a larger conversation about the future. I think some space is great for the 2 of you to figure things out. We all know booze can do some damage and I kinda believe the whole 'i forgot about you thing' b/c maybe it all really hit him that hard BUUTTTT, why would he even think to drink that much at your e-party?!?! That part worries me the most - i had a HUGE e-party and even though we were pulled a million different directions FH was next to me at all times. Why wasn't he with you??? Why was he with other people in the dark with shots?? Wasn't this a celebration for the 2 of you??? So why did he even decide to put himself in a compromising position int he first place??

And that leads to some bigger issues that i think the 2 of you need to work out.

No one can make the decision for you - you gotta follow your heart and only you know how comfortable you can be later on knowing this situation happened.

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Posted by S00n2beWifey

Thank you so much for all of your input, I was hesitant to put this out there on here but I am now so happy I did. I got a lot of good feedback from all you brides & GROOMS! Which I am so happy you grooms out there spoke out because I need a guys point of view, BADLY. FH and I have been talking breifly, I have yet to move back into our apartment but I really feel he is being honest when says 'that was not him'. I don’t know why but I do. Maybe because I have seen him this way before and people laugh but I call him 'Derek' (his name is Dave) when it gets to that point (it rarely does, but it has happened before). I havent seen it in him in a long time but I guess it was the wrong night. As I recapped the night with other they explained to me they never saw Dave flirting, talking or touching anyone (even this girl) throughout the night at all. They also said there were shots lined up at the bar downstairs constantly. FH also has had surgery on his stomach and his stomach does not re-absorb alcohol the way someone's normally would. This is all neither here nor there. I would love to forgive him at some point but I just don’t think I am there right now. How could he forget about me even at that point? I guess only time will tell now. I want to move back home but I don’t want to forgive him because I know if I do right now I can never bring it up again. I guess what bothers me the most is that this girl is basically saying that it was all him and none her and that just really bothers me because she is so unattractive its not even funny. Actually it is funny. And I don’t want her thinking he had some kind of 'thing' for her. That shouldn’t matter to me but it does and it is difficult to get over. Thank you all again for your input and I will update you on what happens, time will tell. Thank you again and love to you all!

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I hope you really yelled at her. what kind of a girl goes to an engagement party and does that? karma is a b*tch. I can't ever imagine if I was single going to an e party and if the future groom even tried anything me actually going for it. she has some balls on her lol. I would have been like are you serious? and walked away. I just hate those kind of girls. like she is so innocent.

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Posted by allornil

want me to go find her and rip her hair out? I will ya know!

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I'm not doing anything, I can come help too

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Posted by jetersgirl216

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Posted by allornil

want me to go find her and rip her hair out? I will ya know!

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I'm not doing anything, I can come help too

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Me too.. get the whole LIW crew on her!

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Posted by FutureMrsGTL

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Posted by jetersgirl216

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Posted by allornil

want me to go find her and rip her hair out? I will ya know!

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I'm not doing anything, I can come help too

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Me too.. get the whole LIW crew on her!

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Count me in! It'll be a lesson to future heffers!!!

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Posted by sjr385

I'd be in too, if there wasn't a small ocean in the way...

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No small ocean can save her! LOLOL

Wow!! I'm so sorry to hear about this terrible situation. My heart just sunk into my stomach as I read your first post. My only advice would be to really take your time in processing your own thoughts and feelings before you make a decision to forgive. Because you may forgive, but you'll never forget. And you need to decide if you can live with that memory for the rest of your life. FH and I had a similar situation come up about a month after we got engaged and it's still hard sometimes, but we've moved past it. Feel free to FM me any time if you want to talk. Again, I'm so sorry! Just know that you're not alone and we're all here for you.

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Posted by sjr385

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Posted by FutureMrsGTL

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Posted by sjr385

I'd be in too, if there wasn't a small ocean in the way...

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No small ocean can save her! LOLOL

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Haha true... but a small ocean plus Earl might!

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LOL Earl could pose a problem... ok... after Earl

HAHAHAHH omg first time i laughed in days.. you girls are great ...No need for physicality but I did day dream about throwing a break through her windshield haha .. and GET THIS.. she lives around the block from our apartment! HA

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Posted by S00n2beWifey

HAHAHAHH omg first time i laughed in days.. you girls are great ...No need for physicality but I did day dream about throwing a break through her windshield haha .. and GET THIS.. she lives around the block from our apartment! HA

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tell her you want to make up and let this all go and bring her brownies or cookies...with ex lax in them! :)

I just have to say...sorry i have a big mouth..

Not to excuse your FH behavior because Alcohol is NOT an excuse to act like a complete jerk..

But does this bimbo forget that she was at an ENGAGEMENT party and he was the GROOM???

Seriously- out of all the single guys in the room did she need to sit on the GROOMS lap????

She KNEW what she was doing in my opinion..some women love the game!!!

You have to follow ur heart- because only YOU know what your FH is and isnt capable of.. IMO..make his arse squirm a bit!!!

Good luck to you