honestly.

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Posted by Jesses Girl

how abotu this..i understand we disagree...some of us.

so we can just end it
i feel like im defending myself but i, too, am allowed to have an opinion...and i just was completely in shock and insulted for my brother..

i kno deep in my heart i still want them there..i just think that it was rude that they gave me more at an eparty...which was important but like..i didnt expect gifts


i just dont want u all to think thats what im about bc im not..TRUST ME! im not mean spirited or greedy or anything of the sort...

edit:
and i too was raised the same way. i wasnt raised any different than u.

---

I, for one, do see both sides. Nobody is right or wrong......

Yes, you shouldn't expect ANYTHING from ANYONE..... BUT, when something like you described DOES happen, being surprised/upset/shocked is a normal reaction, IMO.

I'm glad this thread was able to not be DRAMA!! And you girls could express your different opinions w/out fighting!

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Posted by Shell84

I don't know why people gets upset really.
You choose where to have your wedding and who to invite. You don't do it hoping to get your money back. Maybe it's just me, but I'll be more than happy if anyone decides to give me an envelope, but i am not waiting on it.

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when i read this, the thought that popped into my head wasn't OMG will someone do this to me, it was about me going to a wedding and giving a gift, personally i just couldn't go and give $50 for 4 ppl...yeah its not about money but if i went along with 3 members of my family and i know these ppl paid a couple of hundred dollars for all of us to attend i'd feel uncomfortable...Yes they decide where to have their wedding but i dont know any places that are $50 for 4 ppl.

For my own wedding i always tell Fh dont expect to make money back and im talking about reception only. I said everyones situations are different so dont even focus on the money at all

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Posted by loislane

I totally understand where you are coming from. My cousin baptized her baby and my grandmother gave her 25 bucks for her and my grandfather, she knows how much things cost and she didn't even cover her own plate let alone my grandfathers. Plus she had the nerve to invite someone with out asking just practically showed up with this friend. They literally are having ZERO financial difficulties. When some posters are saying that weddings are not being about presents etc. they don't understand that when you have family that you are generous with and you KNOW THEY AREN'T hurting financially you take it as a personal insult. It's NOT a matter of wanting prestents etc. For years on holidays my family would get other family members thoughtful gifts and my parents hardly had any money and there my other aunts and uncles would be getting us dollar store coloring books. We've had family members hit hard times and for weddings many people have refused gifts from them because they knew that they couldn't swing it, that's one thing but to be snubbed is another.

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u said it perfectly.

i think we were raised in the same family.

THANK YOU.

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

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Posted by Jesses Girl

how abotu this..i understand we disagree...some of us.

so we can just end it
i feel like im defending myself but i, too, am allowed to have an opinion...and i just was completely in shock and insulted for my brother..

i kno deep in my heart i still want them there..i just think that it was rude that they gave me more at an eparty...which was important but like..i didnt expect gifts


i just dont want u all to think thats what im about bc im not..TRUST ME! im not mean spirited or greedy or anything of the sort...

edit:
and i too was raised the same way. i wasnt raised any different than u.

---

I, for one, do see both sides. Nobody is right or wrong......

Yes, you shouldn't expect ANYTHING from ANYONE..... BUT, when something like you described DOES happen, being surprised/upset/shocked is a normal reaction, IMO.

I'm glad this thread was able to not be DRAMA!! And you girls could express your different opinions w/out fighting!

---

haha yah. im not going to fight bout it.. i like all u girls...different opinions or not.
i hope no one takes my words the wrong way...i wasnt tryin to start...

---

Posted by Jesses Girl

---

Posted by loislane

I totally understand where you are coming from. My cousin baptized her baby and my grandmother gave her 25 bucks for her and my grandfather, she knows how much things cost and she didn't even cover her own plate let alone my grandfathers. Plus she had the nerve to invite someone with out asking just practically showed up with this friend. They literally are having ZERO financial difficulties. When some posters are saying that weddings are not being about presents etc. they don't understand that when you have family that you are generous with and you KNOW THEY AREN'T hurting financially you take it as a personal insult. It's NOT a matter of wanting prestents etc. For years on holidays my family would get other family members thoughtful gifts and my parents hardly had any money and there my other aunts and uncles would be getting us dollar store coloring books. We've had family members hit hard times and for weddings many people have refused gifts from them because they knew that they couldn't swing it, that's one thing but to be snubbed is another.

---

u said it perfectly.

i think we were raised in the same family.

THANK YOU.

---

I think so too, I totally understood your point.

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Posted by Jesses Girl

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

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Posted by Jesses Girl

how abotu this..i understand we disagree...some of us.

so we can just end it
i feel like im defending myself but i, too, am allowed to have an opinion...and i just was completely in shock and insulted for my brother..

i kno deep in my heart i still want them there..i just think that it was rude that they gave me more at an eparty...which was important but like..i didnt expect gifts


i just dont want u all to think thats what im about bc im not..TRUST ME! im not mean spirited or greedy or anything of the sort...

edit:
and i too was raised the same way. i wasnt raised any different than u.

---

I, for one, do see both sides. Nobody is right or wrong......

Yes, you shouldn't expect ANYTHING from ANYONE..... BUT, when something like you described DOES happen, being surprised/upset/shocked is a normal reaction, IMO.

I'm glad this thread was able to not be DRAMA!! And you girls could express your different opinions w/out fighting!

---

haha yah. im not going to fight bout it.. i like all u girls...different opinions or not.
i hope no one takes my words the wrong way...i wasnt tryin to start...

---

BWT - I don't know if you posted this and I missed it, so, sorry if that is the case.... but, just out of curiosity, what was your brothers reaction?

ok i always say it's not about the money, you should invite people b/c you want them to be there on your day and i still say that...

BUT...

what about looking at it from the other side?! i would NEVER EVER give less than $100/person as a guest at someone's wedding, and usually i try to give more than that if i can.

i don't know what people think sometimes?! i just can't imagine giving a gift of $25 for a wedding. it's so weird.

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by FutureMrs.T

I think we should all agree to disagree. It is my opinion, that you should never really discuss the gifts or the amount of money you receive as a gift. That is personal between the person that gave you the gift and you. Still to this day, I dont know how much my sisters 'made' on their wedding day. It is just not something that is discussed. A gift is a gift no matter how you look at it. Be grateful, send a thank you and move on....dont hold grudges. Just my opinion...I know people probably hate me for it, but it is what it is, it is how I was raised.

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actually you make think this is horrible but its the opposite in my family - we have lists of what everyone gave for my sister's and brother's weddings and my parents consult that list before going to other weddings to see what people gave. . . so they will see what their friends gave and then give that amount when THEIR kids get married. . . half is just pure laziness bc they dont want to figure out what to give . . . but it is also about returning the generosity that was shown to their kids

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Tilde..... my family does the same thing. I'm the first family member to be getting married (immediate family), but, it happens for everything, grad. parties, my sweet 16...... etc. Maybe it's an Italian thing...

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yep my parents do the same thing and now I've started doing it myself so maybe it's an Irish thing too!

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Posted by AmandaLynn04


BWT - I don't know if you posted this and I missed it, so, sorry if that is the case.... but, just out of curiosity, what was your brothers reaction?

---

my mom said he just sounded shocked.

he was actually more angry with my uncle who said hed come but didnt show up with the family.

believe me...no one will say anything..we are actually not like that at all..altho i think it..ill never say it

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Posted by Jesses Girl

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Posted by AmandaLynn04


BWT - I don't know if you posted this and I missed it, so, sorry if that is the case.... but, just out of curiosity, what was your brothers reaction?

---

my mom said he just sounded shocked.

he was actually more angry with my uncle who said hed come but didnt show up with the family.

believe me...no one will say anything..we are actually not like that at all..altho i think it..ill never say it

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That's really crappy that your uncle didn't show.

And, yeah, I wouldn't say anything either..... but I would definitely think it!! LOL

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Posted by MiciB115

I don't want to start trouble so I erased mine lol

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haha believe it or not...no trouble is startin..im not going to do that. i understand everyones point even if it doesnt reflect my opinion.

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Posted by MPAS

AWWWWW yeah some people are like that, what are you going to do. Are they your first cousins? close family?

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they are my parents first cousins but my family...we are all like first cousins..extremely close. like..people are shocked how close my family is and has remained.

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Posted by Jesses Girl

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Posted by MiciB115

I don't want to start trouble so I erased mine lol

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haha believe it or not...no trouble is startin..im not going to do that. i understand everyones point even if it doesnt reflect my opinion.

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lol I agree with what Denise said. I feel uncomfortable going to a wedding and only giving $50 knowing that the bride and groom spent a lot more. I know there are many people that don't think this way and that's fine. I'm not planning a wedding to make money, but I can totally see the frustration in getting a gift like that.

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Posted by Jesses Girl

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

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Posted by Jesses Girl

how abotu this..i understand we disagree...some of us.

so we can just end it
i feel like im defending myself but i, too, am allowed to have an opinion...and i just was completely in shock and insulted for my brother..

i kno deep in my heart i still want them there..i just think that it was rude that they gave me more at an eparty...which was important but like..i didnt expect gifts


i just dont want u all to think thats what im about bc im not..TRUST ME! im not mean spirited or greedy or anything of the sort...

edit:
and i too was raised the same way. i wasnt raised any different than u.

---

I, for one, do see both sides. Nobody is right or wrong......

Yes, you shouldn't expect ANYTHING from ANYONE..... BUT, when something like you described DOES happen, being surprised/upset/shocked is a normal reaction, IMO.

I'm glad this thread was able to not be DRAMA!! And you girls could express your different opinions w/out fighting!

---

haha yah. im not going to fight bout it.. i like all u girls...different opinions or not.
i hope no one takes my words the wrong way...i wasnt tryin to start...

---

I know you were starting trouble. Sometimes I think because we're writing and not talking to each other face to face people misunderstand how something is being said, which is where drama comes in.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Shell84

I don't know why people gets upset really.
You choose where to have your wedding and who to invite. You don't do it hoping to get your money back. Maybe it's just me, but I'll be more than happy if anyone decides to give me an envelope, but i am not waiting on it.

---

when i read this, the thought that popped into my head wasn't OMG will someone do this to me, it was about me going to a wedding and giving a gift, personally i just couldn't go and give $50 for 4 ppl...yeah its not about money but if i went along with 3 members of my family and i know these ppl paid a couple of hundred dollars for all of us to attend i'd feel uncomfortable...Yes they decide where to have their wedding but i dont know any places that are $50 for 4 ppl.

For my own wedding i always tell Fh dont expect to make money back and im talking about reception only. I said everyones situations are different so dont even focus on the money at all

---

You are right Denise, but i have to correct you on something. You can go somewhere for $50 for 4 people...THE DINER...lol (but only if you stick to burgers and chicken fingers)