Honor attendant question

My sis and best friend both will be matrons of honor at my wedding. They're actually my only attendants. My sis is paying for the cake and florist for my wedding. My best friend just announced that she was paying for my honeymoon. Is it safe to assume that it would be a little bit too much to ask for a bridal shower from either one? Or should I just throw myself one? Should we all pitch in? At this point I wouldn't even care if I didn't get one. With all the help they're both giving me, I'm already deeply appreciative of their efforts. I don't want them to spend more money than they have.

Re: Honor attendant question

That is very sweet and generous of them. You are lucky to have them in your life. If I were you, I would suggest that the three of you jointly throw a house shower so you can save on costs - but I would preface it by telling them that if they don't want to, they don't have to.

Re: Honor attendant question

agreed- a joint venture at a low key place or someones backyard would be a nice way to solve the problem.

Is there another realtive who may step in to help with the shower? I know aunts like to do things like that also...

Re: Honor attendant question - sorry long

From what I've heard, it is usually in poor taste to host a shower for yourself, since it's akin to demanding gifts for yourself. JMO - but I've heard that's why your bridal party throws it - it's your friends' and family's opportunity to 'shower' you with gifts, if they want to, to set you up in your new home. Your friends and family may want their own opportunity to be as generous as your BP.

Do you have family outside your BP who could do it? Talk to your close family and your BP and see what they would like to do. Usually, your BP expects to give a wedding gift and throw a shower when they agree to be a BM. Your BM are very generous (and you are so lucky to have such supportive people in your life ), but paying for items for the wedding seems like a wedding gift, and the shower is different. (Although by throwing it, they should not give you a gift, too.)

I think as long as you're honest, and make no demands, you should be fine. Just talk to them - it seems they love you so much, they're would listen to anything you have to say. Good luck!!!!

Re: Honor attendant question

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Posted by Bunnymonkey

agreed- a joint venture at a low key place or someones backyard would be a nice way to solve the problem.

Is there another realtive who may step in to help with the shower? I know aunts like to do things like that also...

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Here's the thing. I only have one aunt that is close to me and she is paying for my wedding attire. Pretty much everyone in my family is contributing something to the wedding itself. As for FI's family, that's a whole different story and they wouldn't know where to begin. Put it this way: One of FI's close cousins is pregnant and she asked ME to host her shower. Not her sister. Not her mother. Not any of her other close relatives. I'm not even that close to her. I'm honored to host her shower but it just shows what type of family I'm marrying into.

Re: Honor attendant question

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Posted by morales066

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Posted by Bunnymonkey

agreed- a joint venture at a low key place or someones backyard would be a nice way to solve the problem.

Is there another realtive who may step in to help with the shower? I know aunts like to do things like that also...

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Here's the thing. I only have one aunt that is close to me and she is paying for my wedding attire. Pretty much everyone in my family is contributing something to the wedding itself. As for FI's family, that's a whole different story and they wouldn't know where to begin. Put it this way: One of FI's close cousins is pregnant and she asked ME to host her shower. Not her sister. Not her mother. Not any of her other close relatives. I'm not even that close to her. I'm honored to host her shower but it just shows what type of family I'm marrying into.

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That definitely puts a twist on it since you cannot count on FI's fam to do it and your family is being extremely generous. Maybe your fam already discussed this and accounted for it when they offered to contribute elsewhere.

Re: Honor attendant question

Well if she asked you to host her aby shower, return the favor and ask her to host your bridal shower hehe

Re: Honor attendant question

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Posted by jesslangen

Well if she asked you to host her aby shower, return the favor and ask her to host your bridal shower hehe

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there's an idea. i like that!

Re: Honor attendant question

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Posted by stacy&joe

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Posted by jesslangen

Well if she asked you to host her aby shower, return the favor and ask her to host your bridal shower hehe

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there's an idea. i like that!

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That's a joke!!!!

She's only 20 and can barely take care of herself. I wouldn't trust her with my shower or anyone else's for that matter.

Re: Honor attendant question

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Posted by morales066

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Posted by stacy&joe

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Posted by jesslangen

Well if she asked you to host her aby shower, return the favor and ask her to host your bridal shower hehe

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there's an idea. i like that!

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That's a joke!!!!

She's only 20 and can barely take care of herself. I wouldn't trust her with my shower or anyone else's for that matter.

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Whoops!!! Ok - bad advice from me. my bad. so, i stick with my original advice - talk to your BM - they know you best and love you so much! good luck!

Re: Honor attendant question

Okay, this is totally off the topic, but I have to ask you: I'm considering having my wedding at the Renaissance of Astoria, and I would really love to know how things have been with the venue so far. Are you happy with them? Are they answering all your questions and being as attentive as you want them to be? Have you had any surprises? I met with the banquet manager once and had a hard time telling...
Thanks!