I want to make a special emphasis on including my FMIL in the planning, FH is her only son and I wanted to make sure that she was involved just as my FSILs and my side of the family. I feel like I need to involve my mom as well, but since she's around me all the time, and kind of 'sees and hears' more about the wedding, I feel like I need to really focus on involving my FMIL.
Right now, we just booked our vendors (on our own, really, without discussing much of it with either side of the family), so I was just curious at what point did you involve her or if there were specific things you asked for her input on?
Thanks for any suggestions!
12-3Princess
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
she's doing the rehearsal dinner and helping arrange for shuttle transportation between the church and reception.
that's it. i tried to involve her in the beginning and invited her to look at reception sites with us, BUT ... we won't talk about that day.
On a side note, she's doing great with the rehearsal dinner.
ETA to rearrange my words just in case
jilmadison
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
My FMIL lives in Myrtle Beach so she really has not been a part of the planning. We dont really speak on the phone but when she came up to visit in may i showed her my binder and gave her the details on everything
EmberLynn
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
Posted by Ronkonkomonga
Posted by EmberLynn
I don't want her involved at all.
ditto -
but I'm prepared for the problems it could possibly bring in the future.
You don't understand, I could see her tryihg to make joe wear a pink tux! Mine is very traditional, she wants us married by the justice of the peace, and wait until she finds out its a WOMAN who allows pagan ceremonies. The woman has 1950s style mentality. ewww....
BHW
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
FMIL isn't involved at all. She hasn't asked about anything, but I think it's mainly b/c she and FFIL got divorced about 6 months before we got engaged and did a lot of the planning and it has been hard on her. The only thing she asked of me was that we only put my parents' names on the invitation (I don't think she wanted the divorce advertised on the invitation). I'm ok with her not being involved. I know she's happy we're getting married and really likes me. Besides, I get enough opinions and involvement from my mom.
I'm happy that she's taking part in wedding-related events. She came to the shower and had a wonderful time which made me glad. I'm also happy/relieved that she's coming to the RD since FFIL and new wife are hosting it.
Beth1210
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
I didn't involve her at all- but I am also in a different situation where I lost my Mom 3 months prior to starting to plan the wedding
I don't feel comfortable going places with another women at this point- especailly since I look like I could be her daughter- this was something if I couldn't do it with my Mom was important for me to do with my Dad or alone
also - since my Dad is paying- I don't think it's fair to not include him
mikeshannon
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
Ha Ha...my future mother in law, has done nothing. we have tried to involve her and she has pretty much blatently ignored us. We asked her to come to the tasting for the manor and she said 'I want to be surprised'. When we got home, she asked what we picked. Do the math. FH and I are paying for the RD because they refused to, my mother is paying for the flowers and one of my bridesmaids parents is giving us their beach house for a week for our HM. They are not doing a damn thing and I hope that the future in laws dont expect a big thank you speech at the reception.
tanielle5k
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
I have tried to be very open with FMIL through the whole planning process. She has not been as involved as my side of the family but is deifnitely aware of what is going on and helps out, and offers to help. That has been great, she is very thoughtful. However, the few things that she got very involved in, I have to be honest, she said some things that really hurt my feelings and that I felt were extrememly disrespectful to my family. Maybe she didnt mean them quite so harshly, but to have said them I know its her true feelings. Anyway, I am still trying to include her, but I feel like it has gotten more difficult as the wedding draws closer, and I don;t want to put additional stress on her. She is more stressed than I am.
LuvMyFH
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
MissingTheBGene
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
Wow, thanks everyone for your comments! I think when it comes down to the specifics, I'll be asking her opinions on things. I definitely want her involved on the readings for the Mass, asking if there is any specific music they like to hear to give to my DJ, traditions or special acknowledges and so on.
soontobemrsd325
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kam29
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
I want to include her by my FMIL doesn't care. I try so hard to, but whenever it turns to wedding chats with her she cuts me off and tells me that she should be doing something else instead of having these 'girl conversations'.
tracy2246
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
Not at all...FMIL could careless that we are getting married and has no input what so ever-in fact even when we are around family and friends who are asking questions and getting excited she basically sits and roll her eyes.
I feel bad because that is all FH has but what can you do...
CalJoe0124
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
FMIL is great!!! I include her in telling her how the planning is going and of course asked FH's parents to see the reception hall. They are great, I feel so lucky!
PegaLega
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
My mom is in Michigan and cant be a HUGE part of planning-so I am taking my FMIl shopping and asking her if she has any ideas...thats it really
October Bliss
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
At this point, I haven't included her in the planning at all. FH thinks she is a little wacko. I think she is very sweet. He keeps her completely informed of what we are doing, and she asks lots of questions, but she hasn't really shown an interest in being involved in the planning. Besides, he has three sisters who have all been married in the past.
My own mother was active in the beginning, but has since dropped out of planning and asking questions. She hasn't even seen the hall we booked - just pictures, and the only reason she has seen more pics that FMIL is because my mother is computer savvy and his isn't.
akaMrsT
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
FMIL is not involved in the planning. She's deceased
We are putting her name on the invite though and probably doing a memorial candle or dove release to honor her though.
nferrandi
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
My MIL wasn't really involved in any of the decisions, but I did make it a point to tell her everything we had done. I brought her all the info from the hall, showed her pictures of my gown and the flowers I wanted, etc... But to be honest, even though we're close, she didn't seem to want to be overly involved. I even invited her to one of my fittings and she said she'd rather see me in it the day of the wedding.
070306
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
FMIL could care less. Wants nothing to do with it except presenting large guest list. She has been an absolute horror.
DUCKS2001
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Re: How are you involving your FMIL in the planning?
I have involved her in EVERYTHING! from the start. Her and I have a special bond, like a maturnal bond and her and my mom and I have all been together with the planning and it means so much to me. I am so lucky and happy i have a FMIL as caring, loving and special as her.
mendara
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