How can you marry someone...

111508Bride Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:43 PM

How can you marry someone...

Whom you have never lived with??????????

Butterfly123 Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:44 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Plenty of people do it. I lived with my DH beforehand but some people like to keep it more traditional. I wouldnt judge anyone based on that though.

cherish83 Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:46 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

i dont understand the question. FH and I dont live together officially. He stays at my house a lot, but i know its not the same. Why do you have to live with someone before you marry them? I am more traditional and so are my parents, so i was not allowed to live with him until we are married. To me, it will be more special to spend our first night in our place as a married couple. JMO

kori22ny Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:47 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

I personally wouldn't have done it, but I know sometimes people are very tradional and/or religious. I think I would have had a failed marriage if we didn't live for a while before we got engaged. Our first year living together was tough.
It works for some people.

MikeandJess Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:47 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

you might be asking for a teensy bit of drama with your question. There are a lot of girls on here who don't live with their FH's until they are their DH's

cherish83 Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:49 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Posted by MikeandJess

you might be asking for a teensy bit of drama with your question. There are a lot of girls on here who don't live with their FH's until they are their DH's

Thats exactly what I though. I was going to add to it, but I'm sure it isnt meant to start drama. But as someone who doesnt live with FH, i dont think our marriage is doomed because we dont live together... saying so would cause drama for anyone who doesnt live with their FH

111508Bride Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:49 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Never was judging anyone...just posting a question...

FtrMrsV Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:50 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

I'm not sure if me and FH will be living together before the wedding but that would be my choice. There isn't anything wrong with not living together before the wedding. It's everyones personal preference whether they want to move in together before or after the wedding.

Butterfly123 Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:50 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Posted by cherish83

i dont understand the question. FH and I dont live together officially. He stays at my house a lot, but i know its not the same. Why do you have to live with someone before you marry them? I am more traditional and so are my parents, so i was not allowed to live with him until we are married. To me, it will be more special to spend our first night in our place as a married couple. JMO

Exactly. That question may offend some people. Some peopel may say 'How can u live with your FH without being married first' It depends how you were raised. When I was in my early 20's my mother told me I should live with a man before marrying him to see if we could even live together. I appreciate her advice but I dont think its necessary to live with someone beforehand.

Butterfly123 Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:52 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Posted by 111508Bride

Never was judging anyone...just posting a question...

well the way its phrased makes it seem judgemental.

111508Bride Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:55 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

I DID NOT MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE....

Again...I was just posting a question, and apologize if anyone took offense to it.....

It is hard no matter what your first year living together, whether or not you are married!

i forgot how sensitive everyone can be....SORRY!

Butterfly123 Posted: Sep 01, 2008 10:58 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Posted by 111508Bride

I DID NOT MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE....

Again...I was just posting a question, and apologize if anyone took offense to it.....

It is hard no matter what your first year living together, whether or not you are married!

Oh definitely I agree. Honestly, Ive asked myself the same question you asked! I didnt mean to come off rude or anything, I just know questions like these tend to get under peoples skin, especially on these boards.

cherish83 Posted: Sep 01, 2008 11:00 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Posted by 111508Bride

I DID NOT MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE....

Again...I was just posting a question, and apologize if anyone took offense to it.....

It is hard no matter what your first year living together, whether or not you are married!

i forgot how sensitive everyone can be....SORRY!

I understand you didnt mean to start drama. Maybe edit your post and phrase it differently.

PreshusSmurf Posted: Sep 01, 2008 11:00 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

I understand that you didn't mean to start drama, but I think the TEN question marks at the end of your post alludes to And a question like this usually ends in anyway, people tend to feel very strongly on either side of this discussion.

I also understand what you are trying to say, for myself I didn't feel like I could marry someone who I hadn't tried living with first.

But think of all the generations before us .... depending on your age, MOST of our parents, their parents, etc. did not live together first.

111508Bride Posted: Sep 01, 2008 11:01 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Thank you. There should be a sensor for people who can't hack adult questions!

MikeandJess Posted: Sep 01, 2008 11:01 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

I know it wasn't your intention to offend anyone. I'm certainly not offended and to an extent I agree with you. I do live with my FH and I know how hard it was in the beginning. It's a lot of sacrifice, compromise, and changing to meet each other's lifestyles. I just wanted to let you know that other girls who do not live with their FH might be offended by your post because I know you didn't post it to start drama.

kori22ny Posted: Sep 01, 2008 11:01 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Posted by Songstress

Posted by 111508Bride

Never was judging anyone...just posting a question...

well the way its phrased makes it seem judgemental.

I do agree it does sound a bit judgemental, but no need for people to be offended or think it was meant for drama (IMO).

PreshusSmurf Posted: Sep 01, 2008 11:02 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Posted by 111508Bride

Thank you. There should be a sensor for people who can't hack adult questions!

And another censor for those who can't ask a question in a non-inflammatory manner

cherish83 Posted: Sep 01, 2008 11:03 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Posted by 111508Bride

Thank you. There should be a sensor for people who can't hack adult questions!

Okay, i'm sorry but this response is not helping to relieve any drama you did not mean to start. Just because I saw how people, who do not live with their FH or have not before they are married, can take offense to it, does not mean I cannot 'hack' adult questions, thank you,

KiTTeN0819 Posted: Sep 01, 2008 11:04 PM

Re: How can you marry someone...

Posted by 111508Bride

Whom you have never lived with??????????

The question was slightly offensive.. However me and FH do not live together, but we have been together for 7 years. We chose this since both of our parents are traditional and there would have been major drama on both sides if we didnt live apart until the wedding. I know that 'these days' it is not the norm for people not to live together, however this is a modern day thing. In the past couples rarely lived together before marriage and back then the divorce rate was alot lower... I doubt the two have anything to do with each other, however i dont see why its a problem.