Most of the girls are asleep already. Someone please wake me tomorrow when it starts before it gets pulled!
one of the perks of being one hour earlier and a night owl.... but... until DH's new laptop arrives mine will be sacrificed now to let DH play online poker while we watch tv
i'll check back before i got to bed to see if this thread is gone yet
Its also one of the perks of being an insomniac like me!
Jen & Lea, if it's gone by morning, please let me know what happened.
bluegreen08
Posted:
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Re: How can you marry someone...
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by Songstress
Posted by bluegreen08
Posted by Songstress
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by bluegreen08
i see drama coming!!
I've never used this before.
Most of the girls are asleep already. Someone please wake me tomorrow when it starts before it gets pulled!
i think i qualify as an insomniac after this weekend... sat night I went out with DH and his older bro to the casinos... we got there at 1, left at 5:15am and all came home up $$$
one of the perks of being one hour earlier and a night owl.... but... until DH's new laptop arrives mine will be sacrificed now to let DH play online poker while we watch tv
i'll check back before i got to bed to see if this thread is gone yet
Its also one of the perks of being an insomniac like me!
oops
Butterfly123
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Re: How can you marry someone...
You got it!
bluegreen08
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Re: How can you marry someone...
uh oh.. im delayed bc im uploading more wedding pictures from a CD DH's aunt made
DH started playing poker on my desktop so it looks like the laptop is mine for the night
JoesFutureWife
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Member since
Re: How can you marry someone...
I know this topic is veering off however i want to add. DH and i did not live together before hand. Our parents are very traditional but it was ultimately our choice. Reason being...my friend was married three years ago and when she returned from her honeymoon i said 'Hope, how is married life?' and to me she said 'The same as dating life was, just new last name.' and it stuck with me. Im a firm believe of if it's not hurting anyone else do what's right for you. What was right for us may not be right for others. I will tell you that in our case one of my most exciting moments was when we returned from our honeymoon and set up our new place. And it's definitely exciting to do that whether you are dating or married. For us, we wanted to wait til marriage and our decision worked for us.
Kimbalina
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Re: How can you marry someone...
Well I agree with Jess (preshus) - The ?????????? and !!!! made it seem very judgemental. So that is why you are being 'attacked' as you stated.
I think that living with some one is as important as it is un-important. I think it depends how hard you plan on working at a relationship.
Just because your MOH was dating someone for 3 years and then 3 months into living it didnt work,,, I might think that they didnt try very hard. Or maybe if they would have waited till they were married they might have tried harder and it would have worked- We will never know. But I DO NOT think that you need to live with some one first.
Moving in with some one is about respect and communication- Just like marriage.
ant n tilde
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Re: How can you marry someone...
I am so glad that DH and I did not live together before we got married. When we moved in together AFTER the wedding, our entire life changed and there was a BIG difference between our engaged life and married life and THAT was very important to me. I am also very traditional and it was never an option for me to live together before the wedding.
As a PP mentioned to me, it is sad (for me ) when people say that being married is no change. . .even though to those people they have no problem with it - and thats great for them but for ME I wanted marriage to be an entirely different experience. So, we dated 8 years, were engaged for 2 and then lived together after the wedding - after ten years together. . . we did A-OK with the adjustment and while other girls sometimes say they had NO honeymoon period, we are still living through ours and I don't see it ending any time soon!
JoesFutureWife
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Re: How can you marry someone...
In response to the question then may i ask the OP how do you know your FH will be a good father unless he has kids already? In either case you dont know. You hope you know the person well enough to know that you cannot even imagine what life would be like without him in it. You have faith in him that he will do whatever it takes to work with you and be there for you as your best friend, partner, lover, etc.
SeaMaiden
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Re: How can you marry someone...
I think it is really a personal opinion and choice. I think it is very romantic in a way to do it the traditional way by waiting for marriage. For us, that wasn't an option as we both could not live in our own volatile, unstable homes and had to get out. We knew we would get married within 2 years so making these first 'living on your own' purchases together only made sense. Why buy two of everything, live separately and have roommates who are strangers?
To be honest, life is the same after marriage but i wanted it that way. Some people want for there to be some type of change, but for personal reasons we never thought that was appropriate for us. There definitely IS a honeymoon period feeling (maybe b/c stress of the wedding is over.....). For us, we did things perfectly and are very happy.
To each their own.
JKFris09
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Re: How can you marry someone...
I've been with my FH for over six years, and known him for 8, I know him better than some people who have lived together know each other. Plenty of people do it, I honestly believe to each his (or her) own. I don't agree with living together before marriage but it definitely doesn't mean you can know the person enough to marry them.
FBIL and his FW live in 2 different states and see each other maybe once a week and have only been together and known each other for 1 year, now something like that I don't really get but it's their life and I hope it works out for them.
JoesFutureWife
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Re: How can you marry someone...
Posted by SeaMaiden
I think it is really a personal opinion and choice. I think it is very romantic in a way to do it the traditional way by waiting for marriage. For us, that wasn't an option as we both could not live in our own volatile, unstable homes and had to get out. We knew we would get married within 2 years so making these first 'living on your own' purchases together only made sense. Why buy two of everything, live separately and have roommates who are strangers?
To be honest, life is the same after marriage but i wanted it that way. Some people want for there to be some type of change, but for personal reasons we never thought that was appropriate for us. There definitely IS a honeymoon period feeling (maybe b/c stress of the wedding is over.....). For us, we did things perfectly and are very happy.
To each their own.
Very well said!
cherish83
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Re: How can you marry someone...
Posted by 111508Bride
LIGHTEN UP!!!!!!!!!! I have seen many things on this site....that I may agree with, and I may not agree with...sometimes, I just don't respond if I am in disagreement.
My MOH has been engaged longer that we have. Their wedding was set to be 2 months after ours.. they decided to move-in together after dating for 3 yrs and it just didn't work.......that is the reason for my post....why I have to be attacked for posting on a PUBLIC FORUM is beyond me.....it probably just wasn't meant to be....may have had nothing to do with living together, but she said that she just could NOT live with him!
Even after 3 YEARS of dating she (and he ) just hating living together! That's all....end of story...I apologize to those of you I may have offended....AGAIN, IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION!!!! I was just posting a topic on a website......no need to be so sensitive...
You are not being attacked... I just suggested you rephrase your question because the way you came off is confrontational and all of your responses there after were as well. As is this one. In some cases maybe it is better for the couple to move in together prior to getting married, as in the case of your friends, but i dont think it is a requirement to test out if you can actually deal with the person 24/7 before marrying them
Espo22
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Member since
Re: How can you marry someone...
actually it is not a guarantee just bc you live with your fh beforehand. Studies show that there is a higher divorce rate among those who lived together before marriage.
I dont think either way is wrong or right. I didnt live with FH before marriage, although he stayed at my house 5-6 days a week, so was used to alot of things and wasnt completely new when we did get married.
There really arent any problems as far as us getting used to living together. There were some differences but i knew about them ahead of time and its all worked out. I know the first year of living together can be rough but we dont really have difficulties in regards to this.
2007 Crescent Bride
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Re: How can you marry someone...
FH and I do not officially live together but he started spended the weekend with us so my son could get use to it and now he is up to about 5 nights a week. I did it this way because it has always been just my son and I and I didn't want him to think my FH was taking me away from him. He knows FH for 6 years (since he was 6 months old) and he calls him daddy but it is still an adjustment for him.
Mici n KC
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Re: How can you marry someone...
Very easily. FH and I just bought a house and moved in together 6 weeks ago. Things are great and I love it.
ant090608
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Re: How can you marry someone...
FH and I don't live together, and we are fine with it. I can't wait to live with him (that is actually the most important step for us). I don't think that we would run into any major problems- it is how you deal with things that cause issues.
Maria31
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Member since
Re: How can you marry someone...
Posted by ant n tilde
I am so glad that DH and I did not live together before we got married. When we moved in together AFTER the wedding, our entire life changed and there was a BIG difference between our engaged life and married life and THAT was very important to me. I am also very traditional and it was never an option for me to live together before the wedding.
As a PP mentioned to me, it is sad (for me ) when people say that being married is no change. . .even though to those people they have no problem with it - and thats great for them but for ME I wanted marriage to be an entirely different experience. So, we dated 8 years, were engaged for 2 and then lived together after the wedding - after ten years together. . . we did A-OK with the adjustment and while other girls sometimes say they had NO honeymoon period, we are still living through ours and I don't see it ending any time soon!
I totally agree and couldn't have said it better myself! My FH and I have been together for almost 6 years and have never lived together. I personally don't see anything wrong with it, and the original question sort of implied that it was SOOOOO RIDICULOUS to marry someone you've never lived with before.
futuremrsfab
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Re: How can you marry someone...
Posted by ant n tilde
I am so glad that DH and I did not live together before we got married. When we moved in together AFTER the wedding, our entire life changed and there was a BIG difference between our engaged life and married life and THAT was very important to me. I am also very traditional and it was never an option for me to live together before the wedding.
As a PP mentioned to me, it is sad (for me ) when people say that being married is no change. . .even though to those people they have no problem with it - and thats great for them but for ME I wanted marriage to be an entirely different experience. So, we dated 8 years, were engaged for 2 and then lived together after the wedding - after ten years together. . . we did A-OK with the adjustment and while other girls sometimes say they had NO honeymoon period, we are still living through ours and I don't see it ending any time soon!
perfectly stated and exactly how I feel- if you choose to live with your fh before marriage, its a personal choice- just like its my personal choice not to live with him beforehand. And I can not wait to live with him- it will be an adventure and its something for us to look forward to
cbcf
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Member since
Re: How can you marry someone...
Posted by futuremrsfab
Posted by ant n tilde
I am so glad that DH and I did not live together before we got married. When we moved in together AFTER the wedding, our entire life changed and there was a BIG difference between our engaged life and married life and THAT was very important to me. I am also very traditional and it was never an option for me to live together before the wedding.
As a PP mentioned to me, it is sad (for me ) when people say that being married is no change. . .even though to those people they have no problem with it - and thats great for them but for ME I wanted marriage to be an entirely different experience. So, we dated 8 years, were engaged for 2 and then lived together after the wedding - after ten years together. . . we did A-OK with the adjustment and while other girls sometimes say they had NO honeymoon period, we are still living through ours and I don't see it ending any time soon!
perfectly stated and exactly how I feel- if you choose to live with your fh before marriage, its a personal choice- just like its my personal choice not to live with him beforehand. And I can not wait to live with him- it will be an adventure and its something for us to look forward to
i feel the same way. I mean obviously I cannot live with my FH anyway because he was either stationed in San Diego, Japan or Iraq (so it would be a little impossible ) But I know we wouldn't have moved in together anyway even if he was home and we were engaged. And I love that we don't live together now. I feel like there is so much for us to look forward to when moving in together. We are going to set up our apartment together and enjoy our new start. And we are both very excited. I think we are more excited about living together than the wedding (but that is also because we never see each other haha)
But either way it is definitely a personal prefernce whether you live together or not before marriage. For us we enjoy knowing that we have new challenges, excitements and steps ahead of us after the wedding. But to each their own!!!
FutureMrs.T
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Re: How can you marry someone...
I totally think that this is a personal decision for everyone. Financially, it just made sense for FH and I to move in together. Instead of paying 2 rents/2 sets of bills, we shared an apartment and were able to save enough money for a wedding AND a house. We just moved into our new home and the wedding is two months away. Living at home was not an option for either of us.
However, on the turn side, part of me is kind of upset that there will be no 'newness' after the wedding when we come home from our honeymoon, things will be the same as before the wedding, just with a marriage license adn a new last name.
Then there is my cousin, who has been engaged longer than FH and I. Her FH bought the house ACROSS THE STREET from her parents, and he lives there by himself, adn she lives with her parents across the street still. She wont move in until after their wedding in July 2009. That is the way they prefer it to be, I respect that.
