When I think of traditional or conservative (what ever you want to call it) reasons for not moving in with significant other, I think of a woman who has chosen to abstain until marriage and is waiting for her one and only. If that's the case, then I think it's great. But there's nothing tradional about it if a couple is having s e x, but have chosen to live apart due to 'tradition' Isn't the whole point of this to leave your parent's house.....they're giving you away.....but if the couple has already 'done the deed' I don't understand the whole 'tradition' idea and how it'sbeing defined. JMO
I think this is an excellent point, and I completely agree.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: How can you marry someone...
ive seen this question on here before. I think the reason people got mad was bc of the way it was asked. Whenever you say 'how can you marry someone' and whatever will follow it will come out bad. To be honest, i thought when i was going to open this up it was going to say something like 'how can you marry someone who has cheated before' or is abusive or something. Just from the subject line i thought the worst bc whenever you start a sentence like that it means basically 'you shouldn't be marrying the person'
Whenever you have 2 completely different sides, and 1 side saying that a marriage might not work bc of your decision, and another side saying that what they did was better, of course people are going to get defensive. Theres no way it won't. Its the exact same reason why the bachelor party threads always get heated. Because a person will feel self conscious about their situation and feel the need to defend themselves. Its a normal reaction.
Ill be honest, i personally don't care what anyone else does as far as this goes, as long as you're happy with it then that is all that matters. If someone thinks what i did was wrong then go ahead, again i really don't care. I dont need anybody elses approval. I also am not a person who thinks that whatever i do, others should also bc its the best decision. WHat works for my life wont work for others and vice versa. We are all different people and handle things in life differently. We all do things differently, and who am i to judge anybody else for such a thing. If somebody wants to judge what i do in my relationship then go ahead, i know im happy and like the way things are, at the end of the day thats what really matters
I personally always felt that I would personally want to live with someone first before getting married but things just didn't work out that way. It helped with us saving more money for the wedding. We were looking and hoping to move before the wedding but im STILL in the process of selling my place and its months after the wedding, so i couldn't even do this. And let me say thank god, everything happens for a reason. Dh and I were looking ONLY in queens and we JUST found out he will be in charge of all LI jobs so we have to move to LI now. Would've s*cked to move before the wedding, just bought a place in queens and then having to sell it just a few months later to move to LI.
Not everybody who lives together only after the wedding will have issues. DH and i dont have issues with living together. There were absolutely NO surprises at all, we knew everything already, but then again he basically stayed at my place all the time. Things are fine and it hasnt been hard adjusting.
Like i said, its not that crazy to not live together beforehand, especially with the fact that studies show that theres a higher divorce rate amongst couples who lived together before marriage. Of course this doesnt mean that if you were living together before marriage that your marriage in particular will end in divorce, so dont get defensive about this comment. Its not my own study lol. But just to show that it doesnt always work out that way.
As long as you do what makes you happy, then dont pay attention to what other couples do. Every relationship is different and same theories cant be applies to everyone
Butterfly123
Posted:
Member since
Re: How can you marry someone...
Posted by sassygirl9
I didn't want to move in with DH before we married. It had nothing to do with 'traditional' reasons, although I'm not sure what that means. When I think of traditional or conservative (what ever you want to call it) reasons for not moving in with significant other, I think of a woman who has chosen to abstain until marriage and is waiting for her one and only. If that's the case, then I think it's great. But there's nothing tradional about it if a couple is having s e x, but have chosen to live apart due to 'tradition' Isn't the whole point of this to leave your parent's house.....they're giving you away.....but if the couple has already 'done the deed' I don't understand the whole 'tradition' idea and how it'sbeing defined. JMO Although I know some women that just didn't want to give up their 'freedom' or 'space' until marriage and I don't blame them...lol
This is so true! And thats why it annoys me when people say 'My parents would have killed me' I think they know youre having sex if youve been together a LONG time. Unless parents are THAT naive to think their kids are still virgins So if youve been together YEARS and have been having sex what exactly is so taboo about living together before marriage
I can understand the people who say they wanted to wait because of the HM period but the ones who sau their parents would kill them, Im confused about!
LauraD419
Posted:
Member since
Re: How can you marry someone...
DH and I did not live together before being married. It made getting married that much more special. Like we actually had something to look forward to. Had we lived together before-hand I would have felt like that was one special day, but life would just go back to the way it was. Not living together made the time after the wedding feel that much more special...JMO!
ETA:
Maria31
Posted:
Member since
Re: How can you marry someone...
Posted by LauraD419
DH and I did not live together before being married. It made getting married that much more special. Like we actually had something to look forward to. Had we lived together before-hand I would have felt like that was one special day, but life would just go back to the way it was. Not living together made the time after the wedding feel that much more special...JMO!
