How can you marry someone...

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Posted by Espo22

actually it is not a guarantee just bc you live with your fh beforehand. Studies show that there is a higher divorce rate among those who lived together before marriage.

I dont think either way is wrong or right. I didnt live with FH before marriage, although he stayed at my house 5-6 days a week, so was used to alot of things and wasnt completely new when we did get married.

There really arent any problems as far as us getting used to living together. There were some differences but i knew about them ahead of time and its all worked out. I know the first year of living together can be rough but we dont really have difficulties in regards to this.

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This is soo true..living together guaruntee's nothing and in an era where more people live together our divorce rates are the highest they've ever been. I think something like this is a personal decision that should be discussed and made with your FH, solely based on what you both think would work best for your relationship. Ultimately, it's about the two of you whether you live together or not. It's about respect, communication, and love in either living situation whether a marriage makes it or not.

FH and I technically don't live together but spend 5-6 days a week together also either at my place or his place.

Personally I don't know how people don't live with each other either! too risky if you ask me!
my parents are traditional and so they were not happy but I am an adult and at 32 I am not going to let my parents make my decisions.

Don't worry about asking the questions you have every right!

seriously, who cares if she's being judgemental. Does anyone really care what she thinks anyway. I don't understand why everyone gets so offended on these boards...it seems like OP is trying to stir up drama but whatever...you know what they say....

Opinions are like @ssholes....everyone's got one.

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Posted by anamaree77

seriously, who cares if she's being judgemental. Does anyone really care what she thinks anyway. I don't understand why everyone gets so offended on these boards...it seems like OP is trying to stir up drama but whatever...you know what they say....

Opinions are like @ssholes....everyone's got one.

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You make me smile

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Posted by anamaree77

seriously, who cares if she's being judgemental. Does anyone really care what she thinks anyway. I don't understand why everyone gets so offended on these boards...it seems like OP is trying to stir up drama but whatever...you know what they say....

Opinions are like @ssholes....everyone's got one.

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This just cracked me up...but you're right.

Hi Kimbalina!!

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Posted by anamaree77

seriously, who cares if she's being judgemental. Does anyone really care what she thinks anyway. I don't understand why everyone gets so offended on these boards...it seems like OP is trying to stir up drama but whatever...you know what they say....

Opinions are like @ssholes....everyone's got one.

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My thoughts exactly..if your offended..just ignore the post. Obvously she wanted people to get up and arms about her posts....

Anyway to answer the OP FH and I live together for financial reasons..just makes more sense...However I agree with another post that said after the wedding there will be no newness. I've always wanted that but b/c of situations beyond my control....that couldn't happen... but personal choice....everyone's got to do what's best for them ..and that's that.

If it's any consolation...there is still 'newness' after you get married, even if you've been living together. I have always believed you shouldn't live together until you're married but LIFE HAPPENS and I ended up living w DH for 2 years before we were married. Now that we finally are married, there is still a honeymoon period and an adjustment of calling him HUBBY!!!! It's wonderful and I feel like I fell in love with him all over again.

I do not take offense to that question. FInancially FH and I are not able to live together before the wedding. We are paying for the wedding ourselves and have both lived in our parents homes our entire lives.
We know it will be a big adjustment when we first live together but just like moving in together for the first time when you're dating/engaged it will all fall into place!

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Posted by anamaree77

If it's any consolation...there is still 'newness' after you get married, even if you've been living together. I have always believed you shouldn't live together until you're married but LIFE HAPPENS and I ended up living w DH for 2 years before we were married. Now that we finally are married, there is still a honeymoon period and an adjustment of calling him HUBBY!!!! It's wonderful and I feel like I fell in love with him all over again.

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awww that is so nice!!

2010 bride here:

FH & i are living together for almost 3 years now. we have been together for 8 years & it was very important to FH that we did live together prior to getting married.
after his parents got married, they lived together for after about two years & they couldn't deal with living with each other anymore. they both got seperate apartments in the same building and lived happily ever after. they stayed married just lived seperatly. they celebrated every anniversary, every holiday, every birthday-they just couldn't live with each other.

i personally feel that we have worked out alot of difference during this time & that if we would of had the stress of being newley married & just starting to live together all at the same time i totally would have lost it.
it especially was a life saver when FH's dad past away & he needed to take time off from school & work to accept something so life changing.

i think that there will be a 'newness' for us after the wedding even though we have been living together for 3 years - after he proposed there was def a feeling of 'newness' b/c we were engaged and it was very exciting and fun, and i think there will be the 'newness' of being a newlywed as well...just because our routine may not change i dont think that will make me any less excited to be his wife - i think thats kind of a silly way to think of things.....we moved in together 3 years ago and moving in together was so exciting - but so was when we moved into a new apartment and i think moving into a house will be even MORE exciting and that is something we are both looking foward too - i dont think my feelings about living together would have been any 'greater' if we waited until we were married b/c it was such a fun and exciting time (and a little stressful, but a good stress, kind of like wedding stress )....if we didnt live together by now, omg i would be dying to move in with him hahahahaha......i guess everyone is different wants different things, for me, i take comfort in knowing how compatible we are together - meaning things just flow, we just kind of settled into everything and it was great, it made me realize that this is def the person i want to be with, it made me have no doubts, and it made us really get to know eachother in a different way than just dating or sleeping over eachothers houses all the time - and it made me see what kind of man he is - what kind of husband he would be.....other people feel more comfortable doing the opposite and that is fine too - for me living together was a good test of the relationship - it made us stronger, more in love, i feel like my feelings toward him were validated because i loved him even MORE after living with him

like its been said before, to each his own, different strokes for different folks.....

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Posted by Espo22

actually it is not a guarantee just bc you live with your fh beforehand. Studies show that there is a higher divorce rate among those who lived together before marriage.

I dont think either way is wrong or right. I didnt live with FH before marriage, although he stayed at my house 5-6 days a week, so was used to alot of things and wasnt completely new when we did get married.

There really arent any problems as far as us getting used to living together. There were some differences but i knew about them ahead of time and its all worked out. I know the first year of living together can be rough but we dont really have difficulties in regards to this.

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ITA- there is no guarentee either way . I ' played house ' once before, moved in with my ex , expecting a ring . the ring never came . With FH , he wanted to move in together before we were engaged and I said no way! Three weeks later we were engaged and months later we moved in together , before the wedding.

DH and i lived together before, it was what worked best for us. Both of our families are not conservative so they were 100% happy for us when we got our first place.

I have to say i am glad i didnt wait, we have been living together for 4 years, LIFE is too short and i am glad we got to experience those years together and we got to start our life earlier.

Sometimes getting married right away is not for everyone. It takes time to save for a wedding .

Married life is the same, but i can honestly say when we moved in together it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine.
I definately dont have this bliss of walking on clouds and i never had that feeling ever.

Everyone has their own journey, and its not up to me to judge..its bascially what works for you two. For me personally, I wouldnt commit my life (marry) someone if I didnt live with them, or If i hadn't slept with them....to others thats against their own morals, beliefs, etc so it wouldnt WORK for them. I also wanted (MY OPINION ONLY) to live on my own for a few years, it was just important for me to know i could do it alone, no mommy, no roomie, no hubby. Again, what works for me, and makes ME happy, might not work for others.

Although, I have heard if more people would live together before marriage, there would be less weddings, which i think may be true.

I am the 'OP'. I did not start the post to 'stir up drama'. I am not even on here enough to know what it would take to 'stir up drama'.

That said, I do think it's crazy not to live with someone before marriage...that is my opinion, just as many of you post your opinions on this website.

When I asked the question, I didn't expect so many girls to respond that they don't live with FH. To be honest, I am surprised by the number of girls who don't.

For those of you who took offense to my post, please look at where it is coming from....a wedding chat website. Sometimes I think the girls on the site can be really sensitive. I meant no harm to any of you when I posted the question.