I know 'and guest' means simply that, but I think people take advantage of this.
My girlfriend is not bringing her boyfriend to my wedding. They both live in another state and he does not want to pay the air fare to come here, so she is bringing a girlfriend of hers.
I guess I am different because I would not do that. She is going to know so many people at my wedding including her sister who is also a good friend of mine. Why could she not have come alone. Now I have to pay an extra plate for her 'girlfriend'.
Sorry for the vent, but people are so inconsiderate.
JuneBabyBride
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Re: How do I approach this?
Maybe your friend just didn't want to travel alone, or maybe even if she knew people at the wedding, she didn't want to be the third wheel since maybe everyone else would have dates. Sorry your upset!
mlp924
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Re: How do I approach this?
I think Merrie is right. Most people will be there as part of a couple so maybe this way she has a 'buddy'. Relax and be glad that your friend is flying in for your big day!
acp1101
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Re: How do I approach this?
Sorry your upset...
I'm thinking your friend might feel awkward being there alone. I used to date someon who worked on weekends...so he was NEVER with me at parties, etc... so I used to feel bad about that.
If you had her down for 2 people anyway...why would it matter who she brought? I'm sure she will give you enough in the envelope for 2 people...if not , THEN I would be upset...
nrvbrd
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Well she is traveling alone, her girlfriend lives here in New York. I will relax, I just think people do not realize how expensive weddings are and they take advantage.
nrvbrd
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Not that this matters but she probably will not give enough for 2 people she can be really cheap.
jlm2004
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If your friend knows a lot of people who are going to be at the wedding - this is kind of rude. if she is going to be alone - then i think it's OK. Weddings are not always fun if you don't know anyone but the bride and/or groom
JuneBabyBride
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alina
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Keisha, don't worry about this. After all, you have 'estimated' her boyfriend coming anyway right. So whether she brings a boyfriend or a friend, as long as they both come and bring appropriate gift, you should be fine... To be really honest, some people at our wedding gave us such generous gifts that to worry about one or two extra guests is not worth the headache...
Sassyz75
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Re: How do I approach this?
If you are going into this wedding thinking that people are going to 'cover their plate' you are going to be disappointed... there is NOT one person I know that 'broke even'...
The bottom line is a wedding isn't a fundraiser- it's supposed to be a celebration with family & friends.
With that said- & Guest does imply a significant other. Bringing someone you don't know and wouldn't have invited otherwise is pushing the limits of acceptable behaviour.
But as said by the others- maybe she does feel strange without a 'date' of some kind... My stepsister is the type of person who would do that.
I guess be happy that she is travelling in for your wedding period. As it is she's doing more than most guest would do.. so she must care for you and Fh.
Be the better person & try not to sweat the small stuff.
butterfly20
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sometimes the 'and guest' thoughfulness gets abused..
nrvbrd
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I could care less about the covering of the plate thing. I just think that she could have asked if it was ok to bring her friend instead of her boyfriend?
Here is the emails:
Are you bringing your guy?
Even better than that. I am bring Marie. She desperately wants to come.
Ok, but why does she desperately want to come? It is just a wedding, it is a simple event.
She is like me. She has no life. So this is a big event. We get to dress up, look cute, dance and most of all, WE WILL NOT HAVE ANY KIDS WITH US. Girl, that is major.
alina
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Re: How do I approach this?
Keish, if its a single girl, she may want to meet someone, or else, she may just want to party... If you don't care about the cost, then let her come. In the end, most likely you'll say hello to her, and that's it, b/c there so many people at a wedding, you barely have time to do more than that with strangers.
wenndypoo
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Re: How do I approach this?
If the invite did not specifically state 'Mr. J Doe', I would think that guest means guest, not guest of the opposite sex, or only guest that the bride approves of. Try not to sweat it, and be happy that your friend has someone to have a little fun with!
jennbaby
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Kiesha I had the SAME issue! I was ****ed too, but I got double the gift
The Original 2nd-time-around
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I wouldn't be upset about this. She probably just didn't want to come alone
2003OCT10
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I am writing ....
Mr. Keith Donahue and Bridget
Miss Jennifer Donahue and James
Or Miss Jennifer Donahue and Mr. James Hargraves Something like that eliminates the terror of unwanted guests! If you are upset about your cousins decision, i would confront her... If you sent out your invitations, there's nothing you can really do except tell her if its not her boyfriend, you cant afford extra people... Eeek.. good luck!
EvenEdan
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Re: How do I approach this?
I think 'and guest' means just that. I wouldn't think it rude if my friend or family member brought a friend in place of a husband or boyfriend. Either way I am paying for the plate, it is up to them to bring who they wish if they are invited with a guest. If the invitation specifically read to 'Katherine and Michael' and I just showed up with 'Stephanie' than I would think it was a bit rude. Sometimes people just feel awkward attending an event alone, even if they are going to know many people once they are there.
Alvatorre74
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Re: How do I approach this?
The same thing is happening to ME My friend is also bringing a 'friend' another girl who I really Do NOT LIKE' Gets me soooooooo Angry!! At first I told My friend 'well I didnt have you down for a guest', But I knew she felt bad, then I told her she can bring her... I am not happy about this..
nrvbrd
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Re: How do I approach this?
I know 'and guest' means what it means. I stated that before. However when I sent the invite I sent it to her and her BOYFRIEND. I think she could have just asked if she could bring her friend. It is common courtesy.
People cannot follow rules for your wedding but expect you to follow rules for theirs.
