How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Original post by MrsHtobe

Jul 09, 2008 04:43 PM

How much do you give your friends at weddings?
Not your best friend necessarily, just a good friend.

Me and my girls were talking about this the other night and we all had different ideas of what the 'standard' gift would be. . . .

I did it in a poll so no one has to say what they choose.

(if you and FH attended)

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Jul 09, 2008 04:58 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

My feeling is the gift doesn't have to cover the cost of the plate. The two are NOT related at all in my mind. You are not inviting the person just to make back the money it cost to have them there - you are inviting them because they are a friend and you want them to share in your day. Therefore, a gift is just that, a gift. If you can give enough so that it would 'cover your plate,' great. If you can't, no one should be mad at you for giving what you can afford.

MrsHtobe Posted: Jul 09, 2008 04:59 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by tinaval

Just a question tho - i kinda base it also on what the couple is prob paying per head - just so its not really costing them to have me there.....

i always tend to feel like people get pissed when people do not give them enough to cover their plate..... does anyone else find that to be true?

I don't base it on where people are having it -especially since you really never know what they are paying.

If a co-worker invited me to a wedding at Oheka, I'm still giving $200, $250 tops. I'm not giving a $500 gift because you decided to have a very extravagent event. . .

Autumn08 Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:01 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by tinaval

Just a question tho - i kinda base it also on what the couple is prob paying per head - just so its not really costing them to have me there.....

i always tend to feel like people get pissed when people do not give them enough to cover their plate..... does anyone else find that to be true?

In my opinion, this is where it comes controversial. I know that not everyone is going to agree with me but....

IMO the B+G decided to on a per plate price. Not me. I use the per plate as a guide but I'm not going to research how much the couple spent. I also am going to give a more generous gift for a close friend/ family member even if they pay less than for a not close friend who spent well over $200 a plate.

I go by what I believe is the average and give more depending on what I can afford and my relationship with the couple.

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:02 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by MrsHtobe

Posted by tinaval

Just a question tho - i kinda base it also on what the couple is prob paying per head - just so its not really costing them to have me there.....

i always tend to feel like people get pissed when people do not give them enough to cover their plate..... does anyone else find that to be true?

I don't base it on where people are having it -especially since you really never know what they are paying.

If a co-worker invited me to a wedding at Oheka, I'm still giving $200, $250 tops. I'm not giving a $500 gift because you decided to have a very extravagent event. . .

I also really can't afford to give $500 for close friends, either. Honestly, for me, close friends might get $300 - everyone else gets $150-200. Close friends actually might get a more personal gift plus some cash -- I like to let friends know what they mean to me in a more personal way than cash.

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:04 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by Autumn08

I go by what I believe is the average and give more depending on what I can afford and my relationship with the couple.

This is exactly what a gift is all about, IMO.

jcslady Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:04 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

it depends what day of the week it is???

for sat night i would give $250-300 for both of us

RisiLeigh Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:04 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by MrsHtobe

I don't base it on where people are having it -especially since you really never know what they are paying.

If a co-worker invited me to a wedding at Oheka, I'm still giving $200, $250 tops. I'm not giving a $500 gift because you decided to have a very extravagent event. . .

I agree with this. But again, it also depends on who the people are. I have close friends who are getting married in Niagara Falls in Sept and I KNOW that per plate it's costing them like $40! I am going to give my standard $200, or maybe even more since we're close. And I know they prob can't afford to give us alot for our wedding but I certainly won't be using that to determine what we give them for theirs!

tinaval Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:05 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by JBoothIn2008

Posted by MrsHtobe

Posted by tinaval

Just a question tho - i kinda base it also on what the couple is prob paying per head - just so its not really costing them to have me there.....

i always tend to feel like people get pissed when people do not give them enough to cover their plate..... does anyone else find that to be true?

I don't base it on where people are having it -especially since you really never know what they are paying.

If a co-worker invited me to a wedding at Oheka, I'm still giving $200, $250 tops. I'm not giving a $500 gift because you decided to have a very extravagent event. . .

I also really can't afford to give $500 for close friends, either. Honestly, for me, close friends might get $300 - everyone else gets $150-200. Close friends actually might get a more personal gift plus some cash -- I like to let friends know what they mean to me in a more personal way than cash.

i couldnt afford to give 500 either... its a totally weird situation... and honestly i do just give a flat 300 whether or not its more than enough or under (in the case of a 500 affiar) just think it evens out in the end

MrsHtobe Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:06 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

For the record - I love Tinaval and I think a lot of people think like this! I just personally, don't.

I also happen to feel the same way that I wouldn't give less for a Friday night wedding, than I would for a Saturday - I think its about the gift for the couple, not paying for your dinner and drinks

MrsHtobe Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:07 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by tinaval

Posted by JBoothIn2008

Posted by MrsHtobe

Posted by tinaval

Just a question tho - i kinda base it also on what the couple is prob paying per head - just so its not really costing them to have me there.....

i always tend to feel like people get pissed when people do not give them enough to cover their plate..... does anyone else find that to be true?

I don't base it on where people are having it -especially since you really never know what they are paying.

If a co-worker invited me to a wedding at Oheka, I'm still giving $200, $250 tops. I'm not giving a $500 gift because you decided to have a very extravagent event. . .

I also really can't afford to give $500 for close friends, either. Honestly, for me, close friends might get $300 - everyone else gets $150-200. Close friends actually might get a more personal gift plus some cash -- I like to let friends know what they mean to me in a more personal way than cash.

i couldnt afford to give 500 either... its a totally weird situation... and honestly i do just give a flat 300 whether or not its more than enough or under (in the case of a 500 affiar) just think it evens out in the end

tinaval Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:08 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by MrsHtobe

For the record - I love Tinaval and I think a lot of people think like this! I just personally, don't.

I also happen to feel the same way that I wouldn't give less for a Friday night wedding, than I would for a Saturday - I think its about the gift for the couple, not paying for your dinner and drinks

thanks coleen - i think its the accountant in me !!!

i was just being honest - i dont see why anyone would be upset with that, right?

pa56 Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:09 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

If it's a regular friend (not close) then I would give $125 per person. But nowadays, if you buy something online you need to add in another $15 for shipping! These things add up!!

msflesch Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:10 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

I would give $250 for me and FH for friends and others.
I would give $300 for best friends and close family from FH and I
If it was my sister I would give $600.

But if any of my friends gave me $200 for a couple I would be most grateful. That IMO is still a lot of money!

MrsHtobe Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:12 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by tinaval

Posted by MrsHtobe

For the record - I love Tinaval and I think a lot of people think like this! I just personally, don't.

I also happen to feel the same way that I wouldn't give less for a Friday night wedding, than I would for a Saturday - I think its about the gift for the couple, not paying for your dinner and drinks

thanks coleen - i think its the accountant in me !!!

i was just being honest - i dont see why anyone would be upset with that, right?

Some people get defensive over it, I dont know why lol.

Its just your preference. . .i think it just gets controversial because people overanalyze how you might look at it.

TrueLoveIn2008 Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:13 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by MrsHtobe

For the record - I love Tinaval and I think a lot of people think like this! I just personally, don't.

I also happen to feel the same way that I wouldn't give less for a Friday night wedding, than I would for a Saturday - I think its about the gift for the couple, not paying for your dinner and drinks

My thoughts exactly. Just because friends of mine decided to get married on a Friday night, that doesn't mean I love them less and therefore they don't deserve my standard gift.

tinaval Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:15 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by MrsHtobe

Posted by tinaval

Posted by MrsHtobe

For the record - I love Tinaval and I think a lot of people think like this! I just personally, don't.

I also happen to feel the same way that I wouldn't give less for a Friday night wedding, than I would for a Saturday - I think its about the gift for the couple, not paying for your dinner and drinks

thanks coleen - i think its the accountant in me !!!

i was just being honest - i dont see why anyone would be upset with that, right?

Some people get defensive over it, I dont know why lol.

Its just your preference. . .i think it just gets controversial because people overanalyze how you might look at it.

lol thanks for lookin out Col!!!!

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:24 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

It all depends, for someone like my sister or someone who is an employee at the office we give 500

Someone like a relative or cousin, we give 300

Someone like a good friend we have given 400

If its an Out of state wedding where we pay for hotel, transportation, etc we would give 200

Its so hard, and there are different variables, especially if someone has gone to our wedding and given us 250 then at their wedding i would give them 250

This is not the case for most people
for example, this past may DH had a cousin who was getting married that we never met, and we could not go to the wedding so we sent the rsvp with a check for 200
They sent us a gift worth about 40 dollars.
People are weird, we were sure they would just send us a check for 200 since our weddings were weeks apart

Then in December i went to my 1st cousins wedding, and gave her 300 figuring that my wedding was 6 months later and i was sure she would give it back to me...its been over a month and she has not given me anything

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:32 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

Posted by tinaval

i do a standard 300

plus i look at it like they will give u back what u give them.....
so its like a mini loan!!

That is NOT TRUE at all....read my previous post

danandme4life Posted: Jul 09, 2008 05:35 PM

Re: How much would you give as a wedding gift?

I think the reason that people cover the cost of the plate at least stems back to traditional ways. In the old days, the gifts were actually items to help u in your new home together and help get your life started. (Back then it wasnt a norm for a couple to live together first and already have most of what u need to live) But with the crazy costs of weddings in NY, people moved towards money rather than boxed gifts to help afford a home. So i think people try to cover their plate so they feel like they are helping the couple out and start their lives together.