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how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
having one beer a day at home is fine. a lot of people have a glass of wine everyday, that's normal. if he's drinking a six pack everyday, then that's a problem.
between myself and DH, i'm the one who goes out for drinks during the week. it used to be like 2-3 times a week, now it's maybe once a week, once every other week. i come home a bit tipsy, but we have no problem with it. if he's going out everyday, and he comes home drunk each time, that's problematic. if he's going out once a week, i see nothing wrong with that.
what you need to figure out is what will work best for the two of you as a couple. are you OK with him going out for drinks? maybe you could compromise where he goes out a little less. to make him stop completely wouldn't be fair. but if it's bothering you, some boundaries should be set that will make both of you happy.
between myself and DH, i'm the one who goes out for drinks during the week. it used to be like 2-3 times a week, now it's maybe once a week, once every other week. i come home a bit tipsy, but we have no problem with it. if he's going out everyday, and he comes home drunk each time, that's problematic. if he's going out once a week, i see nothing wrong with that.
what you need to figure out is what will work best for the two of you as a couple. are you OK with him going out for drinks? maybe you could compromise where he goes out a little less. to make him stop completely wouldn't be fair. but if it's bothering you, some boundaries should be set that will make both of you happy.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
Well, prior to DH and I getting married , we both went out a lot more,but the older I get ( 32 )andDH ( 38)the less desire we have to get wasted since it takes 2 days to recover . DH will go to happy hour 1-2 times a month, but never stays out late, by his choice. Most of his friends are married, so no one goes out drinking with the guys anymore all the time
The last time I went out drinking was Halloween
Personally ,drinking during the day ( everyday ) would be a turn off for me,and indicate an issue. IMO drinking every day more the one beer/wine ect would be a concern, and if he got wasted a few days a week I would have a problem with it. Going out drinking with friends is one thing, but getting drunk all the time is another.
I am too old for that shiz and would not be able to stay in a relationship with someone who wants to party ALL the time, and we both slowed down as soon as we moved in together, we were both ready to start another phase in our lives.
The last time I went out drinking was Halloween
Personally ,drinking during the day ( everyday ) would be a turn off for me,and indicate an issue. IMO drinking every day more the one beer/wine ect would be a concern, and if he got wasted a few days a week I would have a problem with it. Going out drinking with friends is one thing, but getting drunk all the time is another.
I am too old for that shiz and would not be able to stay in a relationship with someone who wants to party ALL the time, and we both slowed down as soon as we moved in together, we were both ready to start another phase in our lives.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
A beer per day seems normal. I usually have wine with dinner every other night.
How often he goes drinking can depend on alot of factors. I personally work in banking and going out for drinks with clients and collegues is part of doing business. If my partner didn't drink also, he would probably have an issue with that.
How often he goes drinking can depend on alot of factors. I personally work in banking and going out for drinks with clients and collegues is part of doing business. If my partner didn't drink also, he would probably have an issue with that.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
we're both not big drinkers. during football he goes to the bar on sundays and gets a lil tipsy and then whenever we go to a BBQ or get together...obviously in the summer its more often.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
FH and I aren't big drinkers but one beer a day doesn't necessarily mean someone has a drinking problem, however if they can't go a day without a drink than there is a problem.
As far as going out with the guys drinking, I feel like if a guy is ready to be married he shouldn't still be going out like every Friday and Saturday night and getting wasted with his guy friends, I think that is a lot. Everything in moderation.
As far as going out with the guys drinking, I feel like if a guy is ready to be married he shouldn't still be going out like every Friday and Saturday night and getting wasted with his guy friends, I think that is a lot. Everything in moderation.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
I rarely drink, once a month is alot for me. FH drinks about a beer or two a day...but on the other hand he could go weeks without one.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
i do not drink, FH rarely drinks (used to drink a lot more before he met me i guess lol), maybe goes out with his drinking friend once every two months or so or when he goes and visits his former frat buddies from college
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
Posted by KYBride09
He drinks 1 - 2 beers a day. Some days 3 beers (at home). Then he goes out with the guys twice a month. However, it gets me so upset when he gets home at 5am all drunk and spend the next day puking I HATE it. So I tried telling him not to get drunk (didn't work).
He says he doesn't see the big deal b/c it's only twice a month![]()
You know, at first I thought that your discontent was due to the fact that you don't drink and he does- occasionally.
By occasionally I thought once every couple of months with the guys. What you're describing would definitely annoy me also. You have every right to question this and express your discontent. A man on the verge of being married should have been done with this LOOOONG ago- in my opinion. My FH was in a frat and drank every weekend....it ended when he graduated eight years ago.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
Posted by KYBride09
He drinks 1 - 2 beers a day. Some days 3 beers (at home). Then he goes out with the guys twice a month. However, it gets me so upset when he gets home at 5am all drunk and spend the next day puking I HATE it. So I tried telling him not to get drunk (didn't work).
He says he doesn't see the big deal b/c it's only twice a month![]()
IMO, theres no reason to be drinking 3+ beers a day... 1 is fine, hey if you move onto a 2nd, no biggie in my book... him going out with the guys 2x a month isnt the issue here bc thats really not ALOT.... what id be more concerned about is how late he stays out and how much he consumes when you're not around (if its enough to have him puking, it must really be a decent amt)
My FH goes to the bar occassionally on sundays for football... he doesnt come home drunk, never pukes and is out from about 1pm-7pm... thats really the only times hes solely with the guys...
how old is your FH if you dont mine me asking?
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
Posted by KYBride09
Is not that I don't drink at all. I will have a glass of wine during the holidays (thanksgiving, Christmas, etc).
I spoke to him about his drinking and he said in a really nasty attitude, that he will go out once a month with his buddies. I don't care if he goes out twice a month or three, but is it really necessary to get drunk??
He now says that we're too different and that I will never be able to understand.
How old is he if you don't mind my asking?
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
I am not a big drinker at all, but if others want to drink hey thats on them. DH was big into the party scene but now he is not, which kinda annoys me a little bit lol. I LOOOVE to go out dancing and want us to go out more dancing lol but he is kinda past that now, i try to convince him all the time. He does go out for his friends bday's which i would never expect him not to, and for certain occasions he will go out too such as bachelor party and stuff like that. ANd yeah he will drink when he goes out for these type of events and I am fine with that. The last time he went out was only bc i was going out for a friends bday and he wanted to go out together until i told him they are doing girls night only, so he got upset and went out with his friends lol. Since he rarely goes out anymore like that, I dont mind when he does and drinks, if it was happening all the time then obviously that would be different.
Also recently he started having wine with dinner, which again is fine but weird to me since he used to never drink wine.
1 beer a day isnt bad, i mean you know him so you would know best if he had a problem. Sometimes we can hear scenarios but wont even know the extent of what is going on so i have no idea about your fh's situation. As long as he is being responsible and its not out of control. Going out 1-2x a month isnt that bad. I would just talk to him about knowing his limits though so he doesnt spend the next day puking and being sick. My Dh thought he knew his limits and when i asked him i laughed bc i said 'NO that is when you are TRASHED' your limit is when youre feeling a nice buzz but still in control. Ever since I brought this to his attention he has paid attention and now realizes what his TRUE limits are lol and tries not to go past that.
Also recently he started having wine with dinner, which again is fine but weird to me since he used to never drink wine.
1 beer a day isnt bad, i mean you know him so you would know best if he had a problem. Sometimes we can hear scenarios but wont even know the extent of what is going on so i have no idea about your fh's situation. As long as he is being responsible and its not out of control. Going out 1-2x a month isnt that bad. I would just talk to him about knowing his limits though so he doesnt spend the next day puking and being sick. My Dh thought he knew his limits and when i asked him i laughed bc i said 'NO that is when you are TRASHED' your limit is when youre feeling a nice buzz but still in control. Ever since I brought this to his attention he has paid attention and now realizes what his TRUE limits are lol and tries not to go past that.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
FH hardley ever goes out with his friends to drink...I'd say once or twice a month. We go out more often together.
I personally think a beer a day is normal.
I personally think a beer a day is normal.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
he's 33
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
We drink 1-2 glasses of wine with dinner. Its more like a food accent than a way to get drunk. Its the alcohol equivalent to 1 beer I guess...
In some cultures its normal to drink everyday, its actually considered healthy/medicinal. Normal is relative.
Is the drinking really the problem, or is there something else underlying?
In some cultures its normal to drink everyday, its actually considered healthy/medicinal. Normal is relative.
Is the drinking really the problem, or is there something else underlying?
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
Posted by KYBride09
he's 33
At 33 i would not be ok with this. This sounds like the drinking behavior of a 21 year old. Especially since hes not will to discuss it with you. DH was drinking a beer or 2 a night and i thought that was a bit much and i expressed to him that i would like him to cut down.. and he did. He wasnt all that happy but he saw it upset me. Also in the 7 years weve been together he has puked only once from drinking. And that was on his 21st birthday.
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Re: how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?
Posted by KYBride09
Posted by yswedding
We drink 1-2 glasses of wine with dinner. Its more like a food accent than a way to get drunk. Its the alcohol equivalent to 1 beer I guess...
In some cultures its normal to drink everyday, its actually considered healthy/medicinal. Normal is relative.
Is the drinking really the problem, or is there something else underlying?
The problem is him getting trashed and coming home at 5am..... I don't care if he goes out with his friends. As long as he gets home early (before midnight) and not drunk
before midnight? thats a bit too early, maybe meet him halfway and compromise. What time does he go out though. I know if i go out with my friends we usually go out late and i leave my house at 11pm so i know i wont get home before midnight since i get somewhere around that time. Maybe say 2-3am and try that at first.
I guess it just depends on how often its done. I dont go out as much anymore but for example the last time i went out I did get home very late. Went out for a friends bday and i left my house around midnight. Then even after we left the place close to 4am, we all wanted to eat so stopped off at our favorite sandwich place to get food, i was dropping off my friends and then stopped to eat at a friends house. By the time I got home it was about 6am. Of course i dont do this often but when I do go out, i usually get home after 4am, unless its just dinner or something like that.
