how often does your FH or DH gets drunk w/ the guys?

---

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

---

Posted by KYBride09

Espo: You're starting to sound like him lol....

He goes out at different times. Last night he left at 8pm to watch the game at a friend's house. Well, they ended up in forest hills at a bar and he did not get home until 5am this morning. Did he make it to work?? NO, because he's at home puking

---

wow... hes pretty irresponsible for a 33 yr old... sry, that seems harsh but wow... im blown away.... think about your future together... what happens when you have a fam and hes doing this.... not being around... stumbling home drunk... and god forbid he loses his job bc the boss had about enough of him not coming into work unexpectedly....

If my FH went out to watch the sun 8pm game, i'd expect him to be home by 12... #1 cuz he knows he has work the next day and #2 bc the games are usually over 11-11:30 .... what kinda friends does he have that stay out until 5? dont they have jobs too????

---

They do have jobs, but unlike him, they get up and go.
That's another thing I brought up to him.
There is never the right time to talk. He always saying 'do we really need to talk about this now'

I've been thinking of post-poning the wedding until he gets this straighted out. I don't want to be fighting over this.
I don't want to have a monthly fight over, and over.

Do you think I'm over reacting?

---

Posted by KYBride09

I've been thinking of post-poning the wedding until he gets this straighted out. I don't want to be fighting over this.
I don't want to have a monthly fight over, and over.

Do you think I'm over reacting?

---

No, you're not over reacting. You're being very sensible. We may love our FH's with all of our hearts, but the first priority should always be ourselves. Please talk to him before you make any final decisions to postpone.

---

Posted by KYBride09

I've been thinking of post-poning the wedding until he gets this straighted out. I don't want to be fighting over this.
I don't want to have a monthly fight over, and over.

Do you think I'm over reacting?

---

Drinking to the point of puking and missing work is a BIG problem. You also mentioned mood swings that is also a problem. IMO these 3 combined are a sign of a much bigger problem.
My Fh likes to enjoy a beer or 2 when he gets home from work, we can polish off a bottle of wine with dinner and he loves his beer and football. However in the 4 years we have been together I have never seen him puking drunk and has never missed work. I think you really need to TALK to him.

Thank you ladies for all the advise you have giving me. I will have the talk with him.

I knew I can always count on you all for that honest / straight foward advise.

Will keep you all posted!

i think a beer a day is fine. In Europe most people, even children have a glass of wine with their meal everyday...

---

Posted by Espo22

---

Posted by KYBride09

ohh - I left some information out:

When I get on his case and I get super upset, he stops for a while (3 months) and as soon I we get into a disagreement, he goes back again to the same shiz....

---

well I would talk to him seriously then. To go out and watch a football game with your friends is perfectly fine. DH goes to his friends house and watches it there but on a sunday he goes early and usually home before 10pm bc he has work early the next day, he wouldn't get drunk and miss work bc of it, so there is the issue with responsibility. Nobody is saying he cant go out and watch a game with his friends at a local bar or anything but theres no reason to get that trashed that you cant make it to work the next day. That is when it becomes a problem. And theres nothing wrong with going out with friends either but depends on how often its done and how its done. I dont know how he handles it at this age bc its so much harder to deal with the next day. Even dh when he was younger was able to handle it but now if he goes out drinking, the next day he feels like crap and not in the mood to do anything. And on the rare occasions that i will drink now, oh god recovering from that is not the same at all, in our younger days we were able to go out again the next day and now forget it.

I would talk to him about cutting down, have him compromise and start the process. AND one big thing i would ask of him is NOT to get drunk on a sunday and come home late when he has work the next day.

---

I agree with you..hanging with the guys to watch football is fine , MY FH does this almost every sunday...but when it interferes with work and other responsibilities, it becomes and issue that needs to be addressed.

---

Posted by KYBride09

Espo: You're starting to sound like him lol....

He goes out at different times. Last night he left at 8pm to watch the game at a friend's house. Well, they ended up in forest hills at a bar and he did not get home until 5am this morning. Did he make it to work?? NO, because he's at home puking

---

That would REALLY annoy me. Would he be comfortable if the situation was reversed?!

I have to say that my FH never goes out drinking. He did that in the past and hes over it. Hes gets together with the boys to catch up- not to get drunk. I feel lucky! On the other hand- we both love to drink wine together and get tipsy

---

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

---

Posted by KYBride09

He drinks 1 - 2 beers a day. Some days 3 beers (at home). Then he goes out with the guys twice a month. However, it gets me so upset when he gets home at 5am all drunk and spend the next day puking I HATE it. So I tried telling him not to get drunk (didn't work).
He says he doesn't see the big deal b/c it's only twice a month

---

IMO, theres no reason to be drinking 3+ beers a day... 1 is fine, hey if you move onto a 2nd, no biggie in my book... him going out with the guys 2x a month isnt the issue here bc thats really not ALOT.... what id be more concerned about is how late he stays out and how much he consumes when you're not around (if its enough to have him puking, it must really be a decent amt)

My FH goes to the bar occassionally on sundays for football... he doesnt come home drunk, never pukes and is out from about 1pm-7pm... thats really the only times hes solely with the guys...

how old is your FH if you dont mine me asking?

---

I agree. Coming home at five in the morning and puking the next day is unacceptable. To me one to two beers a day is not such a big deal. However, has he always drank every day or is this recent? If it's recent may be he's stressed about something. You guys should talk about it.

Also, does he plan on going out til 5am after you get married? I would discuss this with him.

Everyone is entitled to their nights out, however, I think that at 33 to be going out a few times a month and getting drunk to the point of throwing up is excessive.

FH and I both love to go out with our friends and with each other. I can honestly say in 2 years I've seen him really drunk about 3 times. Even if he does go out with his friends for a night of sports watching and card playing and he's out late, he's up and at 'em if he has to work the next day. I wouldn't tolerate it any other way.

I am probably the bigger drinker in the couple. I enjoy a beer or drink with my meal on weekends, sometimes two or three when we're out with a group. I don't get drunk often neither does FH... (I'm 34, FH is 28).

HOWEVER, you brought up some red flags:

- drinking and missing work? Not cool. That's an issue.

- mood swings? Not cool either...

- when you talk to him about it he gets irritable? He probably recognizes it could be an issue, and doesn't want to face it.

There could be something else going on here, when he's sober and isn't stressed out try to talk to him... see what he says, but you have every right to be annoyed and you're not overreacting.

---

Posted by JoanneAndJustin

I am probably the bigger drinker in the couple. I enjoy a beer or drink with my meal on weekends, sometimes two or three when we're out with a group. I don't get drunk often neither does FH... (I'm 34, FH is 28).

HOWEVER, you brought up some red flags:

- drinking and missing work? Not cool. That's an issue.

- mood swings? Not cool either...

- when you talk to him about it he gets irritable? He probably recognizes it could be an issue, and doesn't want to face it.

There could be something else going on here, when he's sober and isn't stressed out try to talk to him... see what he says, but you have every Right to be annoyed and you're not overreacting.

---

ITA you need to talk to him when he is sober

We usually go out together one or two nights per weekend, but I wouldn't necessary say we 'get drunk.' DH pretty much always takes me with him out even though most of his friends are guys As for drinking beer at home, he pretty much never does on work nights, but sometimes on a Thursday....

I have never seen FH drunk. I personally have an issue with drinkers. My ex -husband was an alcoholic and we lost everything because of it. I am not saying that your FH is a alcoholic but talk to him and try to get to the root of the problem before you get married. In my case, It didnt get better after I got married it got worse. Please, please talk to him!!