Hurt and betrayed...

I started a new screen name beause I am embarrassed to tell this story with my origianal account.

A few months ago I was snooping through my FH emails and found an e-mail that says he wants to 'bang hot latina chicks' I kinda blew it off and never said anything because I figured it was male boasting thing and guys emailing each other. Afterall it was a fantasy and I couldn't call FH on that.
Well he had changed his password since then, proabably onto me and today I found another e-mail to his friend stating...
'we have been fighting a lot lately, he is thinking of moving out, and when he goes out pretends to be single, AND that he is not sure he can be monogaous for the res of his life'
what do you think and what should I do??
I am in tears and think we are over and I should end it????
please help with some girl advice I have nobody to talk to

OMG! that's awful

I'm so sorry to hear that!

If that were me, I would confront him ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is definitely serious talking he's doing. and you deserve to know the truth!

good luck!

oh i'm so sorry, we are all here for you!!
I would def confront him, let him know that you know. Good luck

I would confront him. And if this all seems to be the truth of what is happening, I would leave. No person deserves that, and if he isnt man enough to tell you his feelings, then think how the rest of your life MIGHT be after marriage. You do not deserve that. It is horrible. I am so sorry. Be strong and stand your ground because this is your life too.

I'm soo soory to hear that. I would definatly confront him. It's awful but it's better you know now than later when things could be more complicated.

If it was me I would HAVE TO confront him. I would print out the email in case he denies it or erases it or something.

Huge Huge to you. I'm so sorry.

OH MY!

I am so sorry!!! but I would confront him, he is not worthy have having someone like you, you obviously care a lot about him to go and change your screen name and get our advice...

Just a question: Do you think he knows your snooping through his e mails... and maybe that's why he wrote it... I don't mean to be mean... but maybe he just did it to test you???

Good luck, again... I am really sorry.

I would talk to him. It is the only way you will know what is gooing on. Sorry you have to feel this way.Good luck.

Ugh, I don't know what to tell you. How can you confront him without showing you did not trust him at all and were snooping through his emails?

Whether or not I had anything to hide I would break up with FH if he broke into my email account when I had not given him access. So you run the risk of him breaking up with you.

If it were me, I would decide what I wanted the outcome to be. Do you want to break up? Do you want to go to counseling and try to work through it?

If you do want to salvage it, I would NOT admit to checking his email. I would just say I think we've been having problems, do you care enough to see a counselor to salvage what we do have?

OMG, I am so sorry. It sounds like your fh ia not ready to be married. My adivse, RUN.....

better to know this before you get married. We are all here for you

Thanks I stopped crying at least.
The thing is we have been together on/off for over 16 years..we are HS sweethearts. So we have a lot of years of makeups and breakups under our belt.
I sent him and e-mail and don't know when he will read it.
I will post after the feud happens.
thanks for the hugs and kind words.
gotta go Thanks again I appreciate it!

wow so sorry for what you are going through. i guess that there are a lot of variables that need to be addressed in this situation. First off, if you are snooping to begin with then your internal radar must be telling you that something is wrong. i was a former snooper myself... and i am a firm believer that you should listen to your gut instincts. are you engaged now? and how close are u to the wedding... the best case scenario is that he is just having wedding jitters. But you definitely need to talk to him about this, tell him what you know and ask to know if this is how he really feels.... if you are engaged then you seriously need to think about holding off on the wedding until he can sort out his feelings and get some stuff out of his system...
good luck to you and please let us know how it goes, we are here to help

OMG!! I am so sorry!!! You definitely need to talk to him though! You can't marry him and then have that kind of relationship.

I'm not sure what to say. I agree with the above poster about your internal radar...intuition is something that should not be ignored.

It seems (judging from his immature emails to friends ) that he feels he still has to 'sow his wild oats'...the monogamy question, the fantasies...he can't justify marriage, commitment and settling down - at least not yet.

Definitely talk to him and see where he stands. 16 years is a LONG time, but if there are issues, you should work them out before marriage...marriage just magnifies any existing issues, it's not a fix all.

Good luck and stay strong!

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Posted by N.Y.bride

If it was me I would HAVE TO confront him. I would print out the email in case he denies it or erases it or something.

Huge Huge to you. I'm so sorry.

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I totally agree. If I didnt confront him, it would eat and me and eat at me. Defininately confront him.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. We are here for you.

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

i'm sorry. wait are you married or soon to be? your wedding date says 1/2005

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She is using an alias.

I think you need to sit down and talk to him
If he's having concerns, now is the time to deal with it, without accusing him of anything.....you dont' want him getting defensive.
let him know that you are concerned