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Hurt and betrayed...

Original post by betrayedFiancee

I started a new screen name beause I am embarrassed to tell this story with my origianal account.

A few months ago I was snooping through my FH emails and found an e-mail that says he wants to 'bang hot latina chicks' I kinda blew it off and never said anything because I figured it was male boasting thing and guys emailing each other. Afterall it was a fantasy and I couldn't call FH on that.
Well he had changed his password since then, proabably onto me and today I found another e-mail to his friend stating...
'we have been fighting a lot lately, he is thinking of moving out, and when he goes out pretends to be single, AND that he is not sure he can be monogaous for the res of his life'
what do you think and what should I do??
I am in tears and think we are over and I should end it????
please help with some girl advice I have nobody to talk to
jimmysgrl Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

Oh, I am so glad that it worked out how it needed to and we will all continue to keep you both in our thoughts as you're going through this all. He is lucky enough to have such a strong, supportive lady in his life and I wish you nothing but love. Good luck!
Sweet_Face Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

Wonderful!

kris15198 Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

I'm sooo happy that everything is working out. I actually had a similar experience with my FI (not that I found anything) with the depression so it's hard at first but will get easier. Best of luck.

Faith Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

I'm so glad that you got everything out in the open. About the counseling, besides the joint counseling you may get together in the fall, it sounds like FH could use some on his own. Talking to a PhD might really help him and maybe he is clinically depressed? A PhD would be able to help him with that.
Hope you sleep better tonight
CTarantino Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

Good Luck! I am glad you had a talk with him and you let him know how you felt. Communication is so important and he sounded very supportive and he accepted responsibility by admitting to being depressed.
Good Luck and Best Wishes to you both.
WedHead Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

I would definetely work on it in couple's therapy. After 16 years, it def. seems worth working on and saving, but it may be really useful to have an objective professional guide you so you can really get to the heart of the problem. It may be as simple as cold feet, maybe he ran off his mouth about other women because he's coming to the realization it's going to be just the two of you, forever - that's a scary thought for most people, no matter how in love they are. Good luck!
Deedlebug126 Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

Counseling can work wonders, good luck with it!!! But make sure you keep aware of things!!!

BKtoLI Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

It also might help to talk to your officant. Most of them also work on marriage and pre-marriage counseling.

Glad to know that he is willing to work things out!!! Depression can trigger a lot of other negative emotions, and that is probably what he is going through!!

We're here if you need any help!!
littlebookworm4 Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

I'm glad that you got to sit down and talk to him and I'm also glad that he's open to the idea of counseling. Good luck with everything and take it all a day at a time.
CalJoe0124 Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

Hang in there I hope it all works out!
mendara Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

that is great news!

jg Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

END IT NOW

prinses777 Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...


Posted by jg

END IT NOW



Ouch JG... that is kind of harsh!

BetrayedFiancee... I wish you all the best.

Jackie&Justin Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...


Posted by jg

END IT NOW



I am sorry but I agree...or at least try counseling....I think he's making excuses....He shouldn't of said that..
KarAnthony Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...


Posted by Jackie&Justin


Posted by jg

END IT NOW



I am sorry but I agree...or at least try counseling....I think he's making excuses....He shouldn't of said that..



I would make him do a little more than just apologize. I would def. be a little distant till he earns your trust back. Trust is the foundation of every relationship.

Good Luck!!
The Original 2nd-time-around Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...


Posted by KarAnthony


I would make him do a little more than just apologize. I would def. be a little distant till he earns your trust back. Trust is the foundation of every relationship.

Good Luck!!




Sorry, but I have to agree with this.
hmpena Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

I am glad that you had a chance to express your feelings and hear his side of the story. I wish you all the best and hope that it works out for you. Regardless of things, I would go to couples therapy. It will help strenghten the relationship while helping both of you cope with the problems at hand.

Good luck!
usuk2004 Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...


Posted by The Original 2nd-time-around


Posted by KarAnthony


I would make him do a little more than just apologize. I would def. be a little distant till he earns your trust back. Trust is the foundation of every relationship.

Good Luck!!




Sorry, but I have to agree with this.



I disagree...that's just playing games.

Only you can really judge if your discussion has really solved things or just patched things up for the meantime...the thing that bothers me about the situation is that he's said that he didn't mean what he wrote, but has he told his friend that? I mean he went to his friend about his unhappiness first, not to you - I think that's a problem in itself - but now that unhappiness is beyond just you both as a couple and it's public knowledge...He's involved other people in your problems, I just don't think that's right.

It's really hard to admit you need help in a relationship, and even harder to follow through and get that help...but I really think you would benefit from some counseling
Maybride07 Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

I am glad you worked things out. Facing a problem is a strength that will make a marriage great. You are very strong a brave and wish nothing but happiness for you and your FI. Take care and good luck with everything.
SIBride06 Posted:

Re: Hurt and betrayed...

Without question.. I would end it FAST.

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