i am an annoymous 08er

I'm sorry you're having this problem :(

I can say though that if you both have already broken up a few times and you have cheated on him I wouldnt go through with it.

Id say end your engagement, let your FH move on to be with someone who truly wants to be with him and only him and you should see what happens with you and this guy..

Marriage is serious and just because youre getting married the feelings you have for other guys wont go away.

Again, Im sorry :( Keep us posted.

I'm not going to yell. But I will ask you to think for a second. I personally don't believe it when someone says 'I don't know what to do.' Of course you do. You're a rational adult. You just may not WANT to do what you know you have to do. End of spiel.

A marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. Thre will always be other people that we're attracted to; we choose how we deal with it. You're choosing to act on your attraction.

This is a definite sign of something seriously wrong in your relationship. I can't tell you whether to work things out or end your engagement and/or hook up with this other guy. But you need to do some serious thinking before you do anything else.

You say you 'pull away' from your fiance, but then say that there's 'no way [you're] going to lose [your] FH.' If you're pulling away from him, attracted to someone else, and acting on that attraction, then why are you so adamant about marrying your fiance?

Questions to think about: What do you like about this other guy? How is he similar to your FH? How is he different? Why do you want to marry your FH? What would happen if the engagement ended?

FM me if you want to talk more, and good luck with everything.

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Posted by Munchkn16

I'm not going to yell. But I will ask you to think for a second. I personally don't believe it when someone says 'I don't know what to do.' Of course you do. You're a rational adult. You just may not WANT to do what you know you have to do. End of spiel.

A marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. Thre will always be other people that we're attracted to; we choose how we deal with it. You're choosing to act on your attraction.

This is a definite sign of something seriously wrong in your relationship. I can't tell you whether to work things out or end your engagement and/or hook up with this other guy. But you need to do some serious thinking before you do anything else.

You say you 'pull away' from your fiance, but then say that there's 'no way [you're] going to lose [your] FH.' If you're pulling away from him, attracted to someone else, and acting on that attraction, then why are you so adamant about marrying your fiance?

Questions to think about: What do you like about this other guy? How is he similar to your FH? How is he different? Why do you want to marry your FH? What would happen if the engagement ended?
FM me if you want to talk more, and good luck with everything.

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very well said, totally agree

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Wow. You need to call off the engagement. NOW. How can you deliberately do this to the man you supposedly love? Disgusting.

Edited for spelling.

What the he!l is the matter with us 08ers?!?!?!?!?

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Listen we are not here to judge are to tear 08 down. Let's give her a break and try to help her. Now, I do agree maybe you need to rethink the engagement. It really make No since to get married when you are going to continually cheat. I was cheated on( Not by FH thank God) and I did the cheating (Not on FH ) but it just made be realize that my older children father was not the one for me.

Crashing Board

Ok, we know cheating is wrong. It sounds like you and Fh have a long history and I know that sometimes things go on that you had to deal with, but it sounds to me that you have a lot of built up resentment for him and thats why you want to continue cheating. I think you need to make a decision if what has happened between the two of you is rebuild-able. Marriage should definitely be on hold. You know right and wrong, but I think you need to move on. People stay together because its easy, its harder to move on and end your relationship then stay in a dead end relationship.

This situation tears me up.

Can you imagine loving someone else nd not your fiance. Being in her situatin stinks. I can only hope that you help yourself out of this.

I wish you luck and know that love guides you but your FH needs to know the truth if you do decide to stay with him

Wait is this person ever going to respond are we just going to keep posting advice????

(Not meant in a mean way)

I dont even want to see this post anymore. I want it to go away!

I hate the topic so much! And she never responds!

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Posted by ZeppsGirl

I dont even want to see this post anymore. I want it to go away!

I hate the topic so much! And she never responds!

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True

Are you joning us on the Stephanie thread as has been requested by our Royualty Bride of the Week

She is on a cookie break though I think

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Posted by MillerFord742008

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Posted by beeinsilly

very well said Toni
You are a beautiful person

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Aww...thank you very much

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Yes girl! excellent job.

SAMORY

I am so excited that we have the same RH!!!

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Posted by ZeppsGirl

SAMORY

I am so excited that we have the same RH!!!

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Yes girl.Who was the person you booked with?

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Posted by curiousgeorge

Please dont think im being harsh...you asked for our opinion so here it goes!!! First thing you need to do is come to terms with your own self...You obviously do NOT know what you want or who you want. Second you need to take in consideration that your FH most likely Loves you with all of his heart and soul, otherwise he wouldnt of proposed to you!! In other words SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH YOU! Marriage is serious, this is SERIOUS. What you do to yourself is one thing...but you are majorly hurting your fh. I agree you are being terribly selfish, most importantly because (im sorry to say) you are wasting your Fh's time,energy and devotion. He could be with someone who truely loves him or with someone who would treat him with the kind of respect he treats you with!! I could never ever see myself being in your position, which makes me feel that you are NOT in a position to marry this man or anyone as of yet. Because when you are in LOVE ( real LOVE) you dont want anyone else and alls you want to do is get married and plan the most perfect day ever! Good luck and please take time to realize what you want. Regrets are one of the Hardest things to get over!!! And being cheated on is soooooo painful! And its so preventable!

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Okay, I know this topic is kind of old, but I haven't really been on since this has been a crazy week for me. I just wanted to add some of my thoughts though.

I really think you need to break off the engagement. It's not fair to your fiance (or even to you) to keep it going. If you're lying/cheating now, things aren't going to get better once you're married.

My cousin's ex-wife cheated on him and I saw how hard it was for him, but now he has found someone else and he is a lot happier.

hi ~ I am sorry to hear this and sorry to hear you are going through this... my mother once told me you will know when you are 'in love' with a man when you don't look at other men and want to be with them! and you will only look and have the WANT/NEED to be with you FH and not another man...

i beleive you love your FH but I don't think you are 'in love' with him... if you have this need to cheat on him. especially since you have done it 5 times. ~ I dont think you might be ready for marriage and the committment that goes along with it. personally if I was you and you plan on going through with the marriage with your FH I would go to counseling and get some help. Down the road you are going to run into some problems/issues.

I know you say you will not tell him - I think he deserves to know... you owe it to him and yourself

Good Luck!

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Posted by am i crazy

for the few girls who didnt yell at me or talked down to me...thank you. the fact that i came on here and asked what i should do and not to get reprimanded for the wrong i know i have done is very hard for me to talk about. my fh and i have been together for a long time like i said before and we have had two big break ups each--one when i broke up with him which was 3 yrs ago and one when he broke up with me which was last yr and he broke up with me for another girl and when we got back together and i decided to take him back i dont think i totally forgave him for what he did to me. i love my fh and i always will and i always have. and for some ppl to say that i dont is very hurtful and wrong. i know that my actions are not reflective of my feelings even though i know nobody will believe that or prob dont understand where i am coming from but thank you for your opinions

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06er Crashing....

This is the STUPIDEST thing I have ever read.....first of all, what are you like 19 or 20? Is this your HS sweetheart? I hate to break it to you honey but based on what you wrote and even how you wrote it, it doesant sound like you should be getting married even if you werent cheating on your fh. How can you expect us to feel bad for YOU? If you honestly loved him and felt badly about your actions, you wouldnt be contemplating 'going all the way' with this coworker. And thats another thing, screwing a coworker is the SECOND stupiest thing you can do. So b/t that nad the cheating....you have ALOT to learn.....do this guy a favor if you have even a shred of dignity or respect in you...BREAK OFF THE ENGAGEMENT.