So, I know I'm not on the site all that much but any support/words of wisdom would be appreciated.
My wedding is 2/29/08 and everything is booked. Literally all that's missing are the right before the wedding confirm flower choices, cake, etc. Everything is done.
Well, last week I had Thurs/Fri off. I asked my mom to come down and go dress shopping. I am not girly at all and I knew I would hate it. I did. I cried and I cried some more. I lost 120 lbs. when I met my fiance. I was unhealthy and terribly sick. He got me back on track and from that, I gained about 50 lbs back. Dress shopping made me feel horrible about myself and absolutely hate this wedding. I knew I would never go dress shopping again after last week so I bought this: http://davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=1242&prodgroup=134
Sorry I can't paste a picture but you get the idea. I didn't want to spend a lot because I knew I would hate the dresses and because my wedding isn't my entire life or focus. My dress will be the one pictures with the apple red sash that hangs the full length of the train. What does everyone think?
I'm so emotionally drained that I'm not even happy. Wedding planning was great but the dress experience was horrific and now I'm unhappy. I do like the dress. It doesn't come in until June so maybe I can get skinny again.
Ugh. I'm so drained/sad.
Anyone want a workout buddy at Bally's in Levittown? Or a Weight Watchers via email buddy?
Maybe if I wasn't so big right now I would feel better.
Sorry for my rant. It's just one of those days...or weeks.
AlliCatB
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
You will look beautiful on your wedding day. I know what it feels like to be uncomfortable in your own skin but just remember that FH loves you, and he would love you even if you were wearing a plastic bag.
It's much better to be healthy than twiggy. And your gown is gorgeous, classic and elegant. I'm attaching a picture so everyone can see. I don't know which option you chose for the sash though, I'm posting it in red.
Hiya... I kinda know how you feel... when I tried onthe first dress I just started crying because I felt like a big white blob...but after some reassurance from my sister I tried on the next dress and started glowing... I felt REALLY good in that dress... and I got the same feeling twice after that. I think you would have felt like that too if you tried on 'the one.' I seriously tried on tons of dresses, an dmost of them I took off within 30 seconds because they just weren't flattering.
But anyway..the dress you bought is gorgeous and I am sure you will be a beautiful, glowing bride on your big day!
DanNette
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
Some people put so much focus on the dress, but really its the day that matters!
you have fm!
Christys0925
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
I think you will look amazing on your wedding day! Your dress is gorgeous !!!!
Pinkiegirll07
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
You have fm! I love love love your dress!!!
nmagel
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
I totally understand how you feel. I bought a dress I didn't love for that same reason!! A month later, I cancelled it and bought one I really loved. I'm doing WW right now as well as the SELF challenge. Just get yourself in a positive mindset and think about how fantastic and beautiful you will feel on your wedding day. You have plenty of time!
LoveRocks
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
Your dress is gorgeous and you are going to be a beautiful bride!! As far as weight loss goes, you lost ALOT of weight, so much so that it made you sick. Even though you gained, you're still down 70 pounds!!! Thats awesome. Try to focus on being healthy and not on being 'skinny.' Planning a wedding is super stressful and its definitely not the time to get run down, so you need to take good care of yourself and not fall into the trap of unhealthy dieting or exercising.
I'm so sorry that you're not feeling good about the dress and that it wasn't a good experience.
TGs Lady 22908
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
I TRIED THAT DRESS ON!!!! But with a black sash. It's so pretty!!!!
Sweetie.....don't worry. I'm sure you will look beautiful and i'm positive your FH will think the same. You should be proud of yourself not down....most people dont even get as far as you have losing weight. It's very tough. Don't stress. I've had several bad dress shopping experiences....one with a salesperson who basicly called me fat. I wanted to f-ing punch her in her dumb mouth.
I go to WW so if you want FM me once in a while and we can help each other
CrisiDrue
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
If you went to Lucille Roberts in Massapequa I would be your workout buddy, because that's where my membership is & I just hired a personal trainer for 12 sessions there. I really need a workout buddy too to keep me motivated, that's why I had to hire a personal trainer. Your dress is beautiful, & you'll be beautiful in it, so don't stress so much! You've got plenty of time to reach your goals!
portjeffbride
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
I totally can relate.... it really makes you feel bad when all sample gowns are a size 10 (real size 6) and you're no where near that small.... My first gown try-on was such a low point... I'm also not particularly girly, and wanted a simple gown, and this bimbo in the shop kept asking me 'why so simple, don't you want to be a PRINCESS?'
ugh. I'm not a princess... and no outfit can make me become one! So needless to say, I was very disappointed how enormous I looked in the giant white shiny poofs, and how dismissive the shop clerks were to me becuase the sample gowns didn't come close to fitting me... I felt like a troll.
Pretty much sums up your experience, too, right? Well, let me tell you the light at the end of the tunnel.
This horrible experience motivated me to diet and exercise a lot. Low carb, low fat, high veg, no artificial stuff. I also religiously did Firm Step Workout DVDs... everyother day, with high weights. I lost about 40lbs (still not slim, but much healthier feeling and looking). I also went to RK bridal and got a gown I LOVE. I actually like the way I look in my gown.
Please return your gown. I didn't look at it, but from your description, you don't like it, and you just got it 'becuase'. You have plenty of time to do what I did... Don't settle. Take care of yourself, make yourself happy, and THEN return to a shop and look for something you LOVE (I recommend shops w/ less customer service, just becuase they aren't as pooty than the others, and cater to the 'mere mortals' like us)
And come to LIW for support!!!
futuremrsmultari
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
I just wanted to write and thank each and every person who replied to my post. You helped put things into perspective and made me feel a lot better.
I need to stay motivated and eat right, exercise more and focus on being happy in my own skin.
As for returning my dress, I won't do that. I want one with red to fit our black and red theme. This dress is very me and I will be happy with it once I tone up/lose a little weight.
Again, thanks for helping me see a light at the end of the tunnel.
LBride
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
You have plenty of time, give it a go again when you are feeling better about yourself! I felt the same way especially when none of the dresses would zip and they were clamping me in! I went on off times and weekday nights to make it more 'private' and less like the big girl in the middle of the room being sucked into a dress. I loved when they would say 'now try and picture this in your size!' ha! I eventually lost 18lbs on WW and felt awesome on my wedding day.
MattandTricia07
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
Last year I started doing Jenny Craig and I lost 25 pounds in less than a year! You should look into doing that...I wouldn't even do dress shopping until I lost that weight, so I know you feel. I had put on that 25 pounds since being with FH.
You can do it! We're all here to help!!!
jgl
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
i think you are beautiful and you will look beautiful in that dress.. dont get down on yourself. its these moments we need to use to get back on track .. you can do it!
korndoggie
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
You are beautiful!! Your dress is beautiful!!
You have FM.
GabrielleandJohn
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
UGH I HATED HATED HATED wedding dress shopping. I thought it was the most depressing demoralizing experience ever. I had picked my dress out of a mag and new I was getting it so when I tried on all the others it was well, aweful. The woman said 'we all know this is too small' to every dress I put on. Eventually I said it before her to my sisters and we all had a good laugh but it wasn't funny. I bought the dress I wanted from the magazine (its red and ivory also!) and went on WW. I lost 30 lbs between September and December and hope to lose another 20 before the wedding.
All that matters is that you are happy with yourself, then you will be happy in your dress. Please don't feel like this is not normal. I had soo many supportive girls on here FM me about having the same experience as you and me.
krisa1129
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Re: I am not enjoying this anymore...
I totally feel your pain! Reading your post was like reading something I wrote!! I have gained 40 pds since being with FH (5 years)........and I was not skinny to begin with!! I am DREADING dress shopping........
BUT....your dress is beautiful.....exactly what I would have picked! I starting working out 2 weeks ago, doing cardiokickboxing classes, and I feel GREAT!! I have not dropped any weight yet, but I feel good....and I think it is important! You already lost a lot of weight, and you have to focus on the positive!! You will look beautiful that day....no matter how much you weigh!!
I think your dress is beautiful and if you change your mind, you change it.. you are allowed to do that.. Wedding planning is stressful enough.. I am sure you will do great on your diet and be as beautiful as you are on your wedding day
