Everytime I read threads about how much to give as a wedding present, I end up feeling so bad and kind of embaressed.
We went to a wedding of one of my girlfriends about a year ago, (at the time FH didn't know her well at all, so I didn't expect him to give $. I gave the $. Plus, FH had just covered his friends wedding a month before, he gave his friends 300 from both of us). Anyway I only gave 150 from both of us. It was all I could afford at the time.
So now I feel as if they must think we are the cheapest people in the world, since everyone is saying to give 250-300. They have never said anything. But I feel so bad, like I totally didn't give them a good gift.
wematched
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
You give what you can. I think 150 is perfectly reasonable.
edited cause I forgot the hugs!
lipglossjunky73
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
If she's a friend of yours, she probably knew about your situation, and wouldn't ever think that way about you - I mean, I know I'm inviting friends that there is NO way they would be able to give that much - but I wouldnt expect it - I just want them there and thats it - I am sure she felt the same way about you - havent you ever spoken to her about it?
GeorgeGiuliana
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
lol I'm thinking about that now!!! Well recently and as the days get closer. Like was I ever horrible? Are they going to be like that to me? My sister did a list of what everyone gave her and it helps judge. Like if you can't really afford it at that moment and they didn't give you anything great she doesn't worry. I'm like oh **** what did I give for my relatives and friends so far????????
prunepie
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
look... i feel the same way... but honestly ... for me 300 is ALOT OF MONEY. to some its not.
i dont make alot of money and you can only give what you can afford.
period.
i only use the word cheap when it applies to those who make tons of money and use coupons at the 99 cent store if you knwo what i mean. lol
btw i love the 99 cent store.... soooo my price range lol
jnrrb
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
250-300 is a bit much and don't kick yourself over it, 150 is not that bad. My friend just got married and they said people gave 75-100 for two people.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
lcherian
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
that's totally not being cheap!! you should give what you can afford!
DanaRenee
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
Don't feel bad, last I checked $150 is a lot of money! Just because some people choose to have an extravagant wedding doesn't mean guests should have to worry about covering their cost per head.
At least you gave them something! I keep hearing how people show up and give absolutely nothing...could you imagine??
LUCKinlove
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
Posted by lcherian
that's totally not being cheap!! you should give what you can afford!
I agree. I am sure your friend knows you gave what you could. I have a friend who gives a frame and a pic from the wedding at every wedding. She is broke and we know we would rather have her there than have her stay home b/c she doesn't have the money.
tiffandmatt
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
Posted by lipglossjunky73
If she's a friend of yours, she probably knew about your situation, and wouldn't ever think that way about you - I mean, I know I'm inviting friends that there is NO way they would be able to give that much - but I wouldnt expect it - I just want them there and thats it - I am sure she felt the same way about you - havent you ever spoken to her about it?
Well, we always complain about being broke together lol! So she knows how my money is. But actaully talking about the actual amount I gave her has never been brought up. They did sign the thank you card with something like thank you for the generous gift, or something along those words. And I'm sure they ment it, but I just feel embaressed about it, considering what everyone else must have given.
I just she was getting married this year, cause I just gotten a raise. Oh well.
Thaks fo the hugs ladies.
klslk
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
I think so too! Absolutely!!!!
sarahthegreat
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
please, i went to my cousins wedding a few years ago and gave $75, all i could afford at the time.
don't be embarrassed about it, we should not be expected to give $300 and up for every wedding we go to
tiffandmatt
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
Thank you all so much. I wish I had posted about this a while ago, cause it's been eating at me forever. I really feel better about it, thanks for the reassurance and hugs.
Jackie&Justin
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
Don't feel that way. I won't be able to give that much and I am my friends MOH. My wedding is a few months after hers and I have to pay for my dress, shoes, hair, makeup and everything else that goes along with that. How am I supposed to give $300 as a gift on top of that? And some people suggested since I am her MOH I should give 400-500!!!! It is just impossible. The last wedding we went to I gave $200, she told me that was what most people gave. That is a lot for me, I am going to college and don't have a job, so that came out of my savings...
lipglossjunky73
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
Not for nothing, but I have friends who have no money give me 200 dollars for our e-party, and my stepsister, who has money AND is my MOH, give me a 40 dollar clock - I sent them both a thank you card all the same - but thanked friends for their generosity... but its not about the money - its about the thought...
jenneva
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
I also think about the weddings we went to and I can't believe what we gave them.....I also feel bad
weddingbunny
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
$150 is a lot of money!
I don't know about everybody else, but I personally do NOT expect $100+ gifts from all of my guests at my wedding. Of course I would appreciate a more generous gift, but it is so not necessary at all. And I wouldn't be interested in being friends with somebody who would see that I gave them a $150 gift and thought I was being cheap.
suven
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
don't feel bad! We had a BUNCH of weddings while we were both still in college. For some, my father gave the gift on behalf of the whole family- the gift was ginormous, but I know those brides knew that none of that money was from me and I was an adult at that time.
Others, we gave what we could- usually $150-$200.
We can afford to do more now, so we do when it's a close friend or family member.
But, just to sort of give you a heads up, those people who we gave $150 to 6 years ago gave us that same $150 back at our wedding even though they are VERY well off these days. go figure.
Anyway, my point is that you shouldn't feel bad!
BJandDan
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
Posted by DKURIN1017 Just because some people choose to have an extravagant wedding doesn't mean guests should have to worry about covering their cost per head.
Said PERFECTLY!!!!!!!
akaMrsT
Posted:
Member since
Re: I feel so cheap. Need a hug
Posted by weddingbunny
$150 is a lot of money!
I don't know about everybody else, but I personally do NOT expect $100+ gifts from all of my guests at my wedding. Of course I would appreciate a more generous gift, but it is so not necessary at all. And I wouldn't be interested in being friends with somebody who would see that I gave them a $150 gift and thought I was being cheap.
You are absolutely right I gave $200 (solo gift)for a wedding last year (not in Long Island but upstate) and the couple was shocked
Not everyone gives $100 per couple and there is no reason to feel cheap. I guarantee you that people at that very same wedding gave NO gift at all (and no card). They should feel cheap but $150 is NOT cheap
