and i have to admit, i hated every moment of it. i asked my mom to please not give me a shower and she did so anyway.
JPCP4806
Posted:
Member since
Re: i had my shower
I cant wait for my shower- the one thing I hate about it is not being in control... I ask everyday whats my favors, what kind of food- they finally gave in and told me when and where it is ! Im happy that people I love are getting together for one day and having fun!
itslaurie.
Posted:
Member since
Re: i had my shower
Posted by klingklang77
what i am going to is step back from this whole wedding stuff for a few weeks. i have so much going on with my situation and with FH not being here and i am just making myself crazy. i realise that i cannot cancel anything, my FHs family has their plane tickets booked from australia and if i were to do that, i dont think i would be starting out good with my future in laws; i still really really want to elope. but what i can do is scale this down and i really just need to talk with my mom and stand up for myself more. i think i just yes her and let her get what she wants more, that it all builds up until i explode. i am taking a break from this site as well and just letting the word wedding out of my head for a few weeks.
as an outsider, just from reading your posts - I think you are making a good decision.
I am sorry though, that you got a less than sympathetic response. And I would like to say that I didn't get an ungrateful vibe from reading your story at all. It's almost comical that you get that sort of response, while a post about how someone's bm's did not call them back in .5 seconds, or someone's MIL doesn't like their choice of flowers, or their bm's have a tan line, or aren't tan enough, etc etc etc... and everyone gives them the old 'I am sorry you have to go through this' pity party.
Thankfully, I have no idea what is like to feel so terrible about having a wedding, and feel so out of control of such an important event in your life. But again, I think a few steps back for some breathing time will be beneficial.
good luck.
LBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: i had my shower
elope beforehand and still have your ceremony.. I've known people who have done this.. at least you get the privacy that you want and the party to join the two families
sarahradio5
Posted:
Member since
Re: i had my shower
Posted by JPCP4806
I cant wait for my shower- the one thing I hate about it is not being in control... I ask everyday whats my favors, what kind of food- they finally gave in and told me when and where it is ! Im happy that people I love are getting together for one day and having fun!
me, too! I keep thinking things like... 'Ooohhh.. that would be cute for my shower!'. Then I realize... wait. That's not up to me! lol. I just can't WAIT for my shower after being to OTHER people's showers all my life! MY TURN!
Naunie
Posted:
Member since
Re: i had my shower
Posted by klingklang77
what i am going to is step back from this whole wedding stuff for a few weeks..... i still really really want to elope.
Ever think about secretly getting married by a JoP befor ethe wedding? Not sure if you will be in Australia, or FH in America, anytime between now and the wedding, but it's an option. It will take the stress off of the big traditional wedding. Lots of people do this now, it's kind of romantic, a secret marriage. Either way, good luck!
69
Posted:
Member since
Re: i had my shower
wow... I have to say, my brother and sister in law got married in a park and called us afterwards... they both suffer from severe Anxiety....
they are not going to be in my wedding and will have a hard time at the reception... but they are coming....
I hear what your saying... going through this, I have learned that weddings effect everyone.. everyone in the family goes 'through' it so to speak.... my mother is mad at my brother for not taking part and was very upset with both of them when they got married and didn't invite anyone... but they talk now....
so, in the end it worked out... I suppose there are going to be things in your life that are terrible, things much worse than even this.....
certainly speak with your mother, tell her you are thankful however you would like her to entertain your wishes as well.... maybe you can meet somewhere in the middle.....you may be able to see outside of what society expects... maybe your mom thinks she should meet these ... in the end, she's your mom and try and work it out... one day you'll be glad you did
sarahbelle
Posted:
Member since
Re: i had my shower
Posted by Naunie
Posted by klingklang77
what i am going to is step back from this whole wedding stuff for a few weeks..... i still really really want to elope.
Ever think about secretly getting married by a JoP befor ethe wedding? Not sure if you will be in Australia, or FH in America, anytime between now and the wedding, but it's an option. It will take the stress off of the big traditional wedding. Lots of people do this now, it's kind of romantic, a secret marriage. Either way, good luck!
I thought the same thing. Maybe if you get married before the wedding, some of the stress will subside. If you get married in private, you can have control over the event and not worried about the details.
