I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
prncssrachel
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I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
Lately, I have been having the baby itch. Now, it's ridiculous becuase I'm not getting married for another year and a half, and I'm only 24. JT and I had always thought that we would wait 2 or 3 years before having children, but I am thinking it will end up being not too long after we get married. Now, I KNOW I cannot plan something so far in advance, but here's my question...did you get pg right after getting married and if so, do you feel like you missed out on 'alone' married time? If you don't feel comfortable answering this on the open forum, please feel free to FM me. I just want honest answers, since it's something JT and I have been thinking about lately.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
Got PG 2 years after we got married, and split up 13 days after he was born...you probably don't want my input
elle
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
I got pregnant on my honeymoon. It was not planned -- but we were ready and had talked about trying very soon after the wedding. We had lived together for almost two years before we got married -- so I dont think I feel like I missed out on ' alone' time -- because we had that -- What advice I will give you -- is to get a lot of things done that you want -- like house things or travel -- because they are the things we have given up -- for now. It was so worth it -- but be sure you have thought it thru . !
prncssrachel
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
Thanks for the input elle, and Stacy, I KNOW you, so OF COURSE I want your advice!
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
I know Rach, I was just playin'. No matte how things turned out, I wouldn't change a THING
kptoys
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
I got pregnant 23 months BEFORE we got married (May 22, 2004) We were together for 2 years before that happened.
I love Emma but there are sometimes when I wish we could just hop in the car and go but there is nothing that would make me change my mind about having my daughter.
There are times about 2% that I wish we would have waited but the other 98% of the time I realize its the life I wanted.
prncssrachel
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
Good answer kptoys As much as I like to think we are the type of people who like to get up and go, we're really pretty boring. Ha!
kptoys
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
Even if you are a boring person just going to the store is a chore... also if you and DH wanted to get out for ice cream its a production
michele31
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
Scott and I were married in Nov and I got pregnant in March so we had only a few months of 'alone' time, plus we were together for 2 years prior to the wedding. We are both in our 30's and we were ready for our marriage and a family, Now that being said, of course there are times I wish we had met in our 20's and traveled a lot more together and had more alone time. My age was a factor in our decision to begin 'trying' after the wedding, as we both knew people who took years to have a baby.
I think 'being ready' always has 2 sides. One side of you wants to have a child and the other wants to still be able to get up and go, or travel, or work lots of hours, or save more money etc..etc... but you weight the options and make the decision that is best for you and your husband. There is NO perfect time to have a baby and you are right, you cannot plan it down to the minute either.
Melissa
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
We got PG 8 months after we were married. We didn't miss out on alone time since we've already been together for 10 years, and lived together for 4 years. I'm 26 now (DH is almost 26), and I've wanted a baby for years. Probably since we've first been together which was 15 yrs old. So I understand the baby itch thing. Time will fly by, so don't worry, it'll happen before you know it! (It's so funny, because I posted a similar thread before we got married and just couldn't wait to get PG, and now I'm giving you the same thoughts everyone else was giving me! ) Good Luck!
jenny11.9
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
We got married in November, and I got pregnant in the end of April. We had been together 9 years before we got married, and quite honestly I still dont' think it was enough time to spend 'alone'. I am often extremely sad when I think about my wedding. And how I feel that I never had time to reflect on it, indulge in it or enjoy the glow of being newly married. I don't regret getting pregnant. Yes it took us a little by surprise and I am totally thrilled. We both are. But we are approaching our year anniversary and there is a huge part of me that wishes we were going to dinner and a show together, stopping at a bar for a cocktail, maybe going to take a long walk through the city after.....meet up with friends and so on...it just can't happen now.
We did travel a lot and saw lots of things. Did we see everything we wanted to see? Nope. And I know there is time in the future, and of course baby will join us now....but we had a wonderful sometimes very lavish lifestyle ...and it was a lot of fun.
Please I hope this doesn't sound negative. Anybody that knows me on this board knows I can't wait to have my little itty bitty baby in my arms and I know I am going to be over the moon 24/7 when she gets here. But...thought it was fair to answer your question based on the here and now!
sn00k4
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
We got married in March and I found out that I was pregnant early in May. It was a TOTAL surprise. We’ve been together for about 7 years and lived together for 4 of those years. I don’t think that we’re going to miss alone time. We are actually excited for this new life to join us. Of course it’s going to make life a little more challenging when it comes to traveling (because we both love to travel)… but I’m not too worried about that.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so close to Vin as I do now. I love seeing him get excited over the littlest things. It brings out the softer side in both of us and I think it will be fun yet challenging. But then again, I really never thought that I would have a child… so that sort of took me off guard.
phyl
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
Hey there- I see a trend in the responses. ALl of the gals that were together with there hubby for a while..say they were ready for the baby when it came months after their wedding day...and those that met their hubby maybe only a year or 2 b4 wedding day say it wasn't enough time.. so I guess that is your answer - to some degree
we met in 95 got married in 2000 and became preg in 2002... I was a firm believer in having some mr & mrs time b4 Mom & Dad time. I am glad that for us, it worked out that way. We got to move into a home and make it ours, travel to Thailand (that's not going to happen again soon! its a 24 hour plus flight!).., go OUT to dinner after 8pm, etc...now those things just dont happen.
just realize that there is no just running out for milk, deciding impulively to go to the movies or out to meet friends , (or even go work out or shopping)...I DO miss that! BUT I ALSO LOVE my baby girl.
It is an adjustment...she is NINE months old and I AM STILL ADJUSTING! ...
it is a precious gift yes, and their smiles wipe away the WORST day ...but realize that it will NEVER again be just you and hubby to think about...baby goes first. jmo and hth
NIHA
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
Peter and I met in Oct 1997, lived together for 4 years, and were engaged and married in 2002, and I got pg 3 months after being married.
I think a lot of why we got married was to start a family, so we knew that we would start TTC after the wedding. Living together and sharing a bank acct was like we were married anyway, so we wanted to make it official, and like someone else said, I wanted to be Mr and Mrs before having a child.
We didn't live a vary fancy lifestyle before or have a lot of social events, so the only thing I miss is just being able to go out to a movie or dinner, or being able to sit around and just do 'nothing'. Since Lyla has not been a good sleeper for the last 4 months, I do wish I had more alone time with Peter in the evenings. It's definitely a whole new dimension to the marriage, we often feel like 'Lyla's Mom and Dad', instead of Peter and Niha as partners.
So, I think we had plenty of alone time before, I just miss it sometimes, especially when things get stressful. Of course our situation is different since we were not settled in our new home. I wish we had some time here before having Lyla too.
NovemberSue
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
My DH & I got married in November and got pregnant 8 months later. We've been together for several years and we are both ready to start a family.
prncssrachel
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
Thank you so much for your honest answers, ladies. It means a lot to me that you were willing to answer with such honesty. By the time we get married, it will be five years that we are together, almost 4 of which we will have been living together. I don't know, part of me is so excited to start a family and be a mommy, but there is such a HUGE part of me that still feels like a little girl myself. I will be 26 when we get married, and to me, that is still VERY young. I guess only time will tell if we will be ready. It's just so funny how one minute I have baby fever and the other minute I just FEEL like a big baby myself. Very surreal at times. But thanks again ladies, your answers were appreciated!
natasha
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
We got pregnant a few weeks before our 2nd anniversary.
anna
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Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
If you are both thinknig about it, thats good news, at least you both feel on the same page about having children.
Have you been dating long?
Just a thought. Would you get married sooner to move things along? Maybe if you are ready to begin your lives together, you can push up the wedding date... nothing wrong with that..
I definately dont think youre too young. Its really up to how you both feel in your relationship and if you feel ready to start a family.
ETA: Sorry, I hadnt read all the responses, so I see how long youre dating now If you feel youre still too young, enjoy everything you want to enjoy and then fill the house with kids
Re: I have a personal question, feel free to FM me an answer......
we're not PG yet, but maybe I can shed some light on why we are waiting...
We have been married for 1 year + and even though many people say its best to have your first child before 30 (2 months for me) we are still waiting...
We moved and have been doing a lot of traveling...I always said that I want to visit all 7 continents before I have children...but I think I am lowering it to 4-5 (1 more)...I have really done everything in life that I have wanted to do before having kids...my masters...career...travel...
We also got a dog as a wedding present for each other and while its not a child...there are tons of added responsibilities...maybe you can start off that way....
