I need help-Opinions Please.

Hello.
I am a regular poster on LIW-but I am too embarrassed to show who I really am.

Me and my fiancee have been together over 7 years, and our relationship has been great. We've never broken up-but we were once a a lil 'break' for like 3 days. At that time, our best friends had broken up-and it made us think our relationship. During that time, one of my guy friends had admitted to me he liked me-but nothing happened. He tried to kiss me, but I wouldn't let him. I had made the decision to be with my boyfriend, and he made the decision to stay with me. So everything was great after that-we got engaged almost 2 years later and everything really has been good.

I started a new job not too long ago, and one of the guys I work with-we always joke around, saying we like each other n all. He always compliments me-he also has a gf of 9 years-and is prob going to get engaged soon.

Well, we've always talked and today he asked me to go out w/him after work. So I thought, what the hell, and I did. We ended up just talking about work and him getting engaged-for 2 hours.
When we were leaving and I was walking to the train, he tried to kiss me, but I wouldn't let him.

I don't know whats wrong with me!!!
I don't think I even like him...I think I just like the attention...What do you guys think??

Everyone is attracted to the opposite sex, even if you are engaged, married, etc...
It is okay to like attention from a male that is not your FH. It makes you feel good and attractive.
The problem with this situation is that you went out with this guy after work alone. That is not okay. Most women do not realize that men in this situation do not just want your company. It does not matter he almost engaged. You should realize he wants more then a friendly conversation. He might do this alot, who knows.
With you, I think you might be having doubts of your own. Are you really happy? Are you not ready to get married? Make sure you know what you want now, and not after you say I-do!
Do yourself a favor, and only have a business relationship with this man. Don't do anything you will regret. This man does not care about your feelings.
Good Luck!!

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Posted by MattsBride

I don't think anything is wrong with you. Everyone likes to get some attention now and then! It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong if you were talking about him getting engaged and you don't like him as anything more than a friend. If he tried to kiss you and you didn't kiss back, then he is the one who almost cheated and not you. Just think and make sure that you really don't have feelings for him before you get married. If he works with you, then you will still see a lot of him even after you are married. You wouldn't want to get married and then think you made a mistake after. If this guy likes you and you don't want to give him the wrong idea then maybe you shouldn't hang out with him alone anymore. Or just tell him that you are not interested in him that way. HTH.

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I really don't think I have feelings for him-maybe just sexual feelings, lol, sorry TMI.
He sorta just pecked me on the lips-but he told me he really wanted to kiss me.

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Posted by AlliNMatt06

Everyone is attracted to the opposite sex, even if you are engaged, married, etc...
It is okay to like attention from a male that is not your FH. It makes you feel good and attractive.
The problem with this situation is that you went out with this guy after work alone. That is not okay. Most women do not realize that men in this situation do not just want your company. It does not matter he almost engaged. You should realize he wants more then a friendly conversation. He might do this alot, who knows.
With you, I think you might be having doubts of your own. Are you really happy? Are you not ready to get married? Make sure you know what you want now, and not after you say I-do!
Do yourself a favor, and only have a business relationship with this man. Don't do anything you will regret. This man does not care about your feelings.
Good Luck!!

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I agree with you-it wasnt exactly right that we went out, alone. But I just went there to talk-
Don't think he does this w/anyone else-I'm pretty sure of it in fact. Hes very shy. He was nice enough to call me twice and leave me a message saying he was sorry and didtn want me to feel uncomfortable-and make sure I got home okay.
We are both in a simliar situation-we've been with our significant others a longg time and never been w/anyone else.

As for me, I am happy, and I def think I am ready to get married-I just liek the attention, what can I say, I'm a Leo

thank you

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Posted by RegPosterr

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Posted by MattsBride

I don't think anything is wrong with you. Everyone likes to get some attention now and then! It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong if you were talking about him getting engaged and you don't like him as anything more than a friend. If he tried to kiss you and you didn't kiss back, then he is the one who almost cheated and not you. Just think and make sure that you really don't have feelings for him before you get married. If he works with you, then you will still see a lot of him even after you are married. You wouldn't want to get married and then think you made a mistake after. If this guy likes you and you don't want to give him the wrong idea then maybe you shouldn't hang out with him alone anymore. Or just tell him that you are not interested in him that way. HTH.

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I really don't think I have feelings for him-maybe just sexual feelings, lol, sorry TMI.
He sorta just pecked me on the lips-but he told me he really wanted to kiss me.

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Did you feel that you wanted him to really kiss you? How did you respond to him saying that?

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Posted by MattsBride

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Posted by RegPosterr

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Posted by MattsBride

I don't think anything is wrong with you. Everyone likes to get some attention now and then! It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong if you were talking about him getting engaged and you don't like him as anything more than a friend. If he tried to kiss you and you didn't kiss back, then he is the one who almost cheated and not you. Just think and make sure that you really don't have feelings for him before you get married. If he works with you, then you will still see a lot of him even after you are married. You wouldn't want to get married and then think you made a mistake after. If this guy likes you and you don't want to give him the wrong idea then maybe you shouldn't hang out with him alone anymore. Or just tell him that you are not interested in him that way. HTH.

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I really don't think I have feelings for him-maybe just sexual feelings, lol, sorry TMI.
He sorta just pecked me on the lips-but he told me he really wanted to kiss me.

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Did you feel that you wanted him to really kiss you? How did you respond to him saying that?

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I was sort of half half on that, not to mention I was a little tipsy. I don't know if I really did or not-but it has been a LONG TIME-
I told him I couldnt do it.

In my opinion, you didn't do anything wrong.
It is fun and flattering when the opposite sex finds you attractive.
You and your male friend play a flirtation game. Although it seem that on his part, he might think you are serious and it is not a game.
He might be having problems with his gf and started to develope feelings for you since you both get along. You need to tell your friend that he misunderstood your intentions.

How he reacts to this will tell you if you should stay friends or not. If he is embaressed and shy, then it might have been a momentary lapse of judgement and things should be ok. If he gets angry and says you led him on, then you have to be firm and tell him that the friendship is over.
Good luck.

In these situations I always think to myself - how would I feel if my FH did this to me?

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Posted by wendyz06

In these situations I always think to myself - how would I feel if my FH did this to me?

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Exactly. I would be pissed off to no end. thast why I didn't kiss him-but i feel guitly i went out w/him, alone.

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Posted by RegPosterr

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Posted by MattsBride

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Posted by RegPosterr

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Posted by MattsBride

I don't think anything is wrong with you. Everyone likes to get some attention now and then! It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong if you were talking about him getting engaged and you don't like him as anything more than a friend. If he tried to kiss you and you didn't kiss back, then he is the one who almost cheated and not you. Just think and make sure that you really don't have feelings for him before you get married. If he works with you, then you will still see a lot of him even after you are married. You wouldn't want to get married and then think you made a mistake after. If this guy likes you and you don't want to give him the wrong idea then maybe you shouldn't hang out with him alone anymore. Or just tell him that you are not interested in him that way. HTH.

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I really don't think I have feelings for him-maybe just sexual feelings, lol, sorry TMI.
He sorta just pecked me on the lips-but he told me he really wanted to kiss me.

---

Did you feel that you wanted him to really kiss you? How did you respond to him saying that?

---

I was sort of half half on that, not to mention I was a little tipsy. I don't know if I really did or not-but it has been a LONG TIME-
I told him I couldnt do it.

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I'd be upset with FH if he went out drinking with a coworker and it resulting in a peck/kiss.

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Posted by roxyspark

In my opinion, you didn't do anything wrong.
It is fun and flattering when the opposite sex finds you attractive.
You and your male friend play a flirtation game. Although it seem that on his part, he might think you are serious and it is not a game.
He might be having problems with his gf and started to develope feelings for you since you both get along. You need to tell your friend that he misunderstood your intentions.

How he reacts to this will tell you if you should stay friends or not. If he is embaressed and shy, then it might have been a momentary lapse of judgement and things should be ok. If he gets angry and says you led him on, then you have to be firm and tell him that the friendship is over.
Good luck.

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Thank you for your words, they are making me feel a bit better.
You are right, we do play a flirtation game. I couldnt figure out if he was joking or serious tho-I guess he was serious. but thats how we are-we always joke around in the office.
I'll see how things go tomorrow.

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Posted by wendyz06

In these situations I always think to myself - how would I feel if my FH did this to me?

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I totally agree. Whether it was innocent or not...it seems like you were setting yourself up for this one.

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Posted by AlliNMatt06

Everyone is attracted to the opposite sex, even if you are engaged, married, etc...
It is okay to like attention from a male that is not your FH. It makes you feel good and attractive.
The problem with this situation is that you went out with this guy after work alone. That is not okay. Most women do not realize that men in this situation do not just want your company. It does not matter he almost engaged. You should realize he wants more then a friendly conversation. He might do this alot, who knows.
With you, I think you might be having doubts of your own. Are you really happy? Are you not ready to get married? Make sure you know what you want now, and not after you say I-do!
Do yourself a favor, and only have a business relationship with this man. Don't do anything you will regret. This man does not care about your feelings.
Good Luck!!

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I agree...if I were you I would also make sure that you don't put yourself in that situation again because more then likely they want more then just dinner and friendly conversation. Honestly, if he has a girlfriend of 9 years and he tried to kiss you that says a little something about his character anyway. Is that someone you would want as a friend? A true friend respects that you are in a committed relationship. It's natural to want to still turn heads, but you just have to make sure that you don't put yourself in situations that can possibly destroy your relationship w/ the man you truely love.

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Posted by Wintersbride

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Posted by AlliNMatt06

Everyone is attracted to the opposite sex, even if you are engaged, married, etc...
It is okay to like attention from a male that is not your FH. It makes you feel good and attractive.
The problem with this situation is that you went out with this guy after work alone. That is not okay. Most women do not realize that men in this situation do not just want your company. It does not matter he almost engaged. You should realize he wants more then a friendly conversation. He might do this alot, who knows.
With you, I think you might be having doubts of your own. Are you really happy? Are you not ready to get married? Make sure you know what you want now, and not after you say I-do!
Do yourself a favor, and only have a business relationship with this man. Don't do anything you will regret. This man does not care about your feelings.
Good Luck!!

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I agree...if I were you I would also make sure that you don't put yourself in that situation again because more then likely they want more then just dinner and friendly conversation. Honestly, if he has a girlfriend of 9 years and he tried to kiss you that says a little something about his character anyway. Is that someone you would want as a friend? A true friend respects that you are in a committed relationship. It's natural to want to still turn heads, but you just have to make sure that you don't put yourself in situations that can possibly destroy your relationship w/ the man you truely love.

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I agree with you...Thanks for making me see this.
I just cant help feeling guilty-even though i didnt do anything

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Posted by wendyz06

In these situations I always think to myself - how would I feel if my FH did this to me?

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I was thinking the same thing...it helps confirm your feelings in your current relationship......


Don't feel bad if you enjoy attention from the opposite sex..that's normal and healthy. I don't think it is good to take it past there.

IMO i don't think u did anything wrong...u didnt kiss him n thats the important part!

what WAS wrong is that you met him, alone...i don't think your fiance would have liked that too much...
i think maybe you just enjoy the attention, that 'something new' feeling.

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Posted by gNi1125

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Posted by wendyz06

In these situations I always think to myself - how would I feel if my FH did this to me?

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I totally agree. Whether it was innocent or not...it seems like you were setting yourself up for this one.

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I totally agree.

I go out with friends from work and sometimes it ends up just me and someone else for a while. Mostly it's guys here that go out. We talk and flirt and stuff like that but it never gets to that point.

He was wrong in my opinion, not you. You were looking for a get away for a few hours to talk and he had another agenda.

Attention is great, but he knows you are engaged and shouldn't have put you in that spot. I feel bad for his GF.