I need some advice...major vent

A couple a days ago I posted this:

My FH father wants his sister( FH aunt) and her 2 daughters (FH cousins) walking down the aisle, but they are not in the wedding.

Is this unusual, or do other family members walk down as well sometimes?

I really dont want them to...only because they are not in the wedding. I thought it was a little weird.

Am I making it too much of a big deal?

A day later:
My FH said' fine we'll just have my aunt walk'... and i said 'fine'

Now hes telling me that I should let them walk...reason being, because my cousins are.
But they're in the wedding...
I dont know what to do??? I m so upset

Yeah I have not heard such a thing... could do they do something else in the wedding....
are you having your ceremony in a church?

It sounds kind of odd to me.

I think you should mention it to someone outside of the family, maybe your wedding planner, if you have one, or the officiant. They would be better suited to tell FH and his family who should and should not walk.

Good luck!

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Posted by ETAB

Yeah I have not heard such a thing... could do they do something else in the wedding....
are you having your ceremony in a church?

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I am Jewish, (so no church) I dont know if there is anything else that they can do.

My FH parents are from a different country. The just dont understand our traditional ways???

Its usually only the parents and grandparents that walk. If they arent in the BP, they dont get to walk down the aisle. How long does he want the processional to be??!!
I would tell them no -- its your wedding. Theres no reason for them to be walking down the aisle and people are definately going to be confused as to why they are.

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Posted by VadersBride2006

It sounds kind of odd to me.

I think you should mention it to someone outside of the family, maybe your wedding planner, if you have one, or the officiant. They would be better suited to tell FH and his family who should and should not walk.

Good luck!

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Yeah, I might have have to do that, but my FFIL is very stubborn..and set in his ways.

Thank you for your sug.

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Posted by AeroJenn

Its usually only the parents and grandparents that walk. If they arent in the BP, they dont get to walk down the aisle. How long does he want the processional to be??!!
I would tell them no -- its your wedding. Theres no reason for them to be walking down the aisle and people are definately going to be confused as to why they are.

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I tried explaing that to them, but they said' they should walk.

About a year ago, I asked if he wanted his cousins in the wedding. He said' they prob wont want to wear the bridesmaid dresses'
Why should they be in it then??

Won't FH understand that only the BP, the parents and the grandparents walk down the aisle ?

Most guests won't know the relationship these three women have to you, unless it is pointed out in the wedding program.

Put your foot down on this one.
Have FH tell his father that the processional is not done this way. Would the Rabbi agree with you ?

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Posted by SusiBtoM

Won't FH understand that only the BP, the parents and the grandparents walk down the aisle ?

Most guests won't know the relationship these three women have to you, unless it is pointed out in the wedding program.

Put your foot down on this one.
Have FH tell his father that the processional is not done this way. Would the Rabbi agree with you ?

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Ya know what...I dont even know if he would..hes from the same country as my FH parents.

I do know that I have been to some of their friends weddings/events. And they do things a little differently. Like clap when everyone walks down the aisle..i never heard of that before.

If you want to appease his parents why don't you have his cousins pass out programs before the ceremony or bubbles at the end of the ceremony. It is weird to have his Aunt and cousins walk down and I don't understand why they would even want to. Have your husband explain things to his parents...trust me from my own mistakes

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Posted by thelastresort

Why are people so annoying right before your wedding? Yes, they can walk down the aisle, just like every other guest does when they go to sit down. Can you just explain to them that it is American tradition for just parents and BP to walk down?

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I couldnt agree with you more. And I already tried explaining this to his father. And then he became defensive.


Just to add...His cousins are in their 30's and one of them has a little girl who happens to be our flower girl

What do YOUR parents say to all this ?

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Posted by SusiBtoM

What do YOUR parents say to all this ?

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They are not happy at all. Although, my dad said' he there shouldnt be any agruments...I agree, but I have to put my foot down some time. My FH parents basically got everything else they wanted.

OK. I can understand your Dad not wanting any arguments, but you are getting married here, not in their country.

I'm curious ........
What is your FFIL's argument that the 3 ladies should be allowed to walk in the processional ?

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Posted by twinkle164

I would say if they want to walk down the isle, they can be in the bridal party and wear the bridesmaid dresses. If they don't want to, then they can come in like all the other guests. Explain that in this country people would think it was strange otherwise.

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That is exactly what I said. The other problem is that half of our guest are from his side. Maybe they wont find it so weird