I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

Rainmama Posted: Apr 23, 2004 03:12 PM

I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

After changing our minds about our wedding plans 87 times we have finally come to a mutual agreement. We're going to rent a cabin on a lake near us and have the ceremony and BBQ reception right there. (Yes, I know it's only 4 months away but it's very informal so we're not rushed). Now, the place that we've found is only available the weekend of 9/11. We check in on Friday and leave on sunday so that would leave us with only saturday (the 11th) for the wedding.

I have mixed feelings about this. Although I think it would be great to have a celebration this day to take everyone's minds off of the tragedy that happened just 3 years ago; not to mention that FH and I met on 9/12/2001...but I almost feel like it would be disrespectful. And this would be our anniversary for the rest of our lives.

What does everyone think? Would you be able to rejoice at a wedding on such a sad day? Other 9/11 brides, why did you choose this day?

I'm almost sure this is what I want but I need some persuasion!

Thanks!

Xelindrya Posted: Apr 23, 2004 04:25 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

I would rejoice.

We booked our place and did other contracts before I realized 9/11 fell on a saturday. I lost a very close friend that day (I still have her bracelet in my car) and Jim lost a client that he knew well. I was injured and am currently still recovering. To this day I still have flashbacks and nightmares. Still I’d have chosen that day.

It’s like any other day that has been tragic in America. Sooner or later people will just relate it to that event in a respectful way. What better way than to celebrate the beginning of your life together. Especially as it’s close to your anniversary date.

I’d come and I’d laugh and I’d cry. I’d see you walk down the aisle and think about my friend who will never see her two sons get married and think, she’d be happy like these people around me are. I survived and she didn’t. She would want me to live my life and not constantly regret. To honor her and all those who died I move on with life and celebrate life’s ups and downs.

JMHO

Rainmama Posted: Apr 23, 2004 04:33 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

Thanks X! Those are the things I like to hear!

TwoBugs Posted: Apr 23, 2004 05:11 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

I think there is a whole thread for 9/11 brides, and the mixed reactions they sometimes get from other people when they tell them their wedding date.

I totally believe in the healing ability of a happy event on 9/11.

You should go for it if it's what works for you and FH.

btrflygrl Posted: Apr 23, 2004 07:25 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

REALLY stupid thought...BUt what if you did a midnight ceremony? then it would be 9/12....

9/11 is a horrible tragedy...I'm not sure of the details...but I recall reading an article on a couple that got married in NYC, either right after it, or around the 1 yr or 2 yr mark...WHY? To make that day a happy rememberance for them.....

If you look at it....getting married on 9/11 would be bringing you two a 'new life' when so many lives were lost...

Rainmama Posted: Apr 23, 2004 07:31 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

Midnight ceremony is a very cool idea! If almost half our guests weren't families with young children it would be a lot of fun!
We'll probably have a lot of guests who will sleep in tents on the property anyway. Hmmmmm.....

glensgal Posted: Apr 25, 2004 09:28 AM

.

dkwife Posted: Apr 26, 2004 10:34 AM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

I am biased, I picked that date! We thankfully didn't lose anyone that day and it was the only day available at the hall we wanted. I think it's a great day to have a wedding, and who knows, our anniversay may be a national holiday : )

What are you going to do? Sit home and think about what happened? JMO

Adrianna Posted: Apr 26, 2004 10:06 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

I think you should go for it! People are always going to say something regardless of what day of the week it is, why a friday, why sunday, why a holiday weekend, why close to the holidays, it will always be something. What is important is that you two are happy.

shelly3950 Posted: Apr 27, 2004 10:16 AM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

I don't think its disrespectful at all. It is a day a terrible thing happened. Terrible things happen every day. That is life. But this is your wedding. I think that anyone who has lost someone knows how important it is to go on with your life. To turn this day of mourning to a day of love and oneof the biggest expressiosn of that love is marriage.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Apr 27, 2004 01:16 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

Posted by Rainmama

Would you be able to rejoice at a wedding on such a sad day?

No.

dkwife Posted: Apr 28, 2004 11:27 AM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

It's funny, a friend last night said to me 'I am so glad you are getting married on Sept 11th, now I have something to look forward to'

Just thought I would share : )

Rainmama Posted: Apr 28, 2004 07:24 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

Posted by searsc

It's funny, a friend last night said to me 'I am so glad you are getting married on Sept 11th, now I have something to look forward to'

Just thought I would share : )

Rainmama Posted: Apr 28, 2004 07:24 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

Posted by Rainmama

Would you be able to rejoice at a wedding on such a sad day?

No.

Do you think it's a bad idea, Peanut??

glensgal Posted: Dec 12, 2005 02:19 PM

.

PrincessRose Posted: Dec 13, 2005 02:17 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

Holy Ancient Thread, Batman!

johnsae Posted: Dec 15, 2005 10:36 PM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

I don't like the idea myself, sorry...just being honest. The day freaks me out....it is a day of mourning, not a day for a wedding.

ZuzusPetals Posted: Dec 26, 2005 12:33 AM

Re: I think we're changing the wedding to 9/11...Need advice

Rainmama

tragedies happen everyday but life goes on. Although, 9/11 was a horrific day for millions of people and it was horrible I am sure the victims, the survivors, etc would want others to enjoy life and celebrate. Life is too short and we know that in a second, in can change. Enjoy your wonderful wedding - its a beautiful occassion. Everyone will have an opinion but you do NOT need to please everyone. Its your day. Perhaps, if you want - you can have your guests donate a small fund (maybe even a dollar) to an organization that would be in remembrance of 9/11 or a lil candlelight ceremony. Just a thought - you also may want to entirely 'forget' that it was 9/11 and you know what theres nothing wrong with that. I know a widow who lost her husband in 9/11 (altho devastated) she lives each day with a positive outlook. She remembers the lives lost on 9/11 but doesnt sit in her house all day feeling sad - she is confident that her husband and others would want their loved ones to be happy anda make the best of each day! GOOD LUCK! and enjoy your wedding no matter what. Hope this was helpful!