i was talking with dh and i admitted that even if we were financially sound, i would still want to work. or at least volunteer and treat it like a job. i feel like i will sound horrible and that i don't want to be a mom, but i think that with the way the world is, i mean, it isn't the 50's anymore, i think that a woman should have something else besides her house and taking care of it and that heaven forbid something happens, she has a way to survive.
i feel like i will be so flamed for saying this, but even if we had the $, i'd think i'd want to be something as well. is that horrible?
aliciahelene
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
Nope..I want to work part time. Dex and I were talking about this as well and I will stay at home during the summer with the boys, to help them adjust and to jump start the bonding process, but when they go to school, I would like to work part time..just a few days a week, or full time, but be home when they are home. I want to work for ME, to get out of the house, get dressed up and do what I love. I will have sick days for if the boys are sick and they wont even notice Im working because they wont even be home. I do think if they were younger, I would want to be a stay at home mom, absolutely. My mom was a stay at home mom and I loved it! Its a personal choice for everyone and both choices are completely respectable and understandable!!
Shorty McBride
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
I grew up w/ a SAHM. My Mother was a nurse for about 5 years before she had me, and never wanted to go back. She didn't work again until I was in college, and my youngest sibling was in 8th grade, and it's part time receptionist work, about 15 hrs a week. After experiencing it, I would definitely love to be a SAHM for my kids, at least through middle school.
My mom always made it to our little plays/shows/etc... she was always 100% available in case one of us got sick and needed to come home - then again, this was before cell phones, so I'm sure it's MUCH easier now to get in touch w/ more parents.
My Mom ALWAYS had a full dinner on the table when Dad got home from work, and we always ate as a family. On occasion, she would work from the house selling curtains or photo albums that she made (she is INCREDIBLY creative.)
So deep down, yes, I would LOVE to be a SAHM, at least for 10 years. Unfortunately, financially, it is not realistic for us (FH & me). Teacher salaries!!!
But you're not crazy!!! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and growing up, I had plenty of friends whose parents both worked full time... and you know what? They're great people!
cocoa
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
don't get me wrong, i would love to be a sahm when my kids are little, but like what alicia said...i would want to work for myself: to get out of the house and have it not be for grocery shopping, to get dressed up. let's admit it, when you don't have to go to work, do you still dress like you do? i don't want to let myself go. not like that is the worst thing to happen, but i think when you feel like you look good, you feel good and that spreads. anyway, i also would want to have the $ to get a massage or a pedicure and not feel guilty about it. extra $ for vacations, to have the social aspect of work, and to have some mental stimulation ,but i also think i would want my kids to see me be a strong working woman and to see that if you want something, you need to work for it.
i ask b/c sometimes my grandmother, who i love and adore, looks down upon women who work. first of all, she raised her family in the 50's and 60's when women could stay home and that was the norm. now, it is a different time. but i look at my grandmother (and my mother and aunts) and feel bad when they have to justify a purchase or ask permission to buy something. it is like although they are strong women, they are also repressed in some way. i don't want to have to ask my husband permission to get new shoes or my hair done. i'm just curious what others think.
RedHead
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
NO..I don't think i would want to be a SAHM...Not entirely at least...I think i would have to have a part time job..
JimmysBride
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
No... I would want to work at LEAST part time. DH would love for me to be a SAHM but in order for me to be happy (and therefore everyone else in the house) I have to have an identity other than 'Mom'.
I grew up with a Mom that was a crazy multi-tasker...she ran her own business, worked toward her bachelors, and completed at least 4 or 5 different career tracks while she raised us (I'm not kidding - she was a nurse, a travel agent, a social worker, cosmetologist, successful licensed real estate agent, and now a medical billing specialist).
No, we did not always have a hot dinner on the table and she wasn't home alot... but I am so proud of her. And watching her work so hard to achieve whatever she wanted at the time really instilled a sense of drive and ambition, and a good work ethic in me and my brother. I am getting ready to have my first child and my mother is about 1/4 of the way through to her MBA. This woman never stops!
skew
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
even though i could be a SAHM, i intend to work part time.
lvdolphins
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
I would love to be a sahm for at least the first 6 months. Then its off to a pt job. Im hoping to land a job in a district that follows school calendar, so I can be home, when the kids are.
Rainmama
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
Yup! I am one and I love it!
Yes, at times, I feel like I give A LOT of myself to my daughter and get very little time to myself. But, this is why I had a child-- to raise her. I wouldn't feel right working full-time while someone else raised her. But, this is just me!! I am in no way knocking parents who want (or need) to work. The working parents are the ones who keep me employed as a nanny. I would recommend to new moms who are determined to stay at home to eventually find a part-time job or a hobby that allows you to get out without your child. I really need to take my own advice. LOL. I don't even remember what it's like to not have a child on my hip.
suven
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
I don't know.
My mom worked full-time. And, that's really what helped me form my goals, standards, and motivation to succeed- watching how hard she always worked.
Of course, on the flip side, some of the babysitters that I was left with would probably be arrested if they tried the kind of crap they did to me in this day and age.
checka
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
If it was possible financially, I would be a SAHM until the kiddies started school and then I would work part time while they were in school.
cluelessbride
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
I don't think so. I think I'd work part-time.
lilmrs
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
I think I would, but only for a few years.
Now, if only I could get pregnant...
september2004
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Posted by checka
If it was possible financially, I would be a SAHM until the kiddies started school and then I would work part time while they were in school.
ideally, this is what i would want as well...
amy&anthony
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
Yes, I would be. I was a SAHM with my son Gabriel until he was a year old. I had no choice at that point and had to go back to work. When I have my next child (probably in 2008 ) I may SAH longer. There are just so many things I missed between one and two that I wouldnt want to miss again. I respect any mommys decision though. They all do whats best for them and their families. Good Luck when its your turn
prncssrachel
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
That's actually a really good question. My answer right NOW, when I don't have kids, is no. I would not want to be a SAHM if I could. But I think once I have kids, my outlook on this may change.
Monkeybride
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
I say YES now because I am really burnt out at work but after being off a month for my wedding I was ready to go back.
Our plan once the baby arrives is for me to take my FMLA and maybe 4-6 weeks extra then I will go back PT 2-3 days a week. In my field I need to work to stay up to date on things.
boosh78201
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
As much as I would like to do it, I think I would get bored with staying home all the time, so I think when the times comes I am going to get a part time job.
cocoa
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
Posted by prncssrachel
That's actually a really good question. My answer right NOW, when I don't have kids, is no. I would not want to be a SAHM if I could. But I think once I have kids, my outlook on this may change.
i will agree. i may totally change my mind when the time comes, who knows.
Stefanie
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Re: If you could be a SAHM, would you?
Well when we have this baby in June, it will be the end of my school year and I wouldn't normally be working anyway. However, in September I'm not going back to my job. I'd like to be a SAHM until he goes to school, then I could go back to teaching. In the meantime, I could still work part time or tutor.
