In shock vent

Ok. had to share this story. I had this written out before better but I lost what I wrote so here is a quick rewrite.

Now I love my family & am not making this all about me me me. hehe
But on the other hand others should know what will be going on during a wedding. & it is about our family & this special occasion & celebration.

I have a family member coming in from out of town. We do not see this family often so I was excited to have them come. but this is how they plan on coming down… two days before the wedding but only booked a hotel for the day before & had expected that my dad.. the father of the bride to pick them up, to stay at my parents, & someone to bring them to the hotel the next day before the wedding & then after the wedding for them to stay there & my family to bring them around the city. Hmm I am starting to think u are really here for a vaca which is fine by me, but I have some things going on that week.. & perhaps me & my family may be a TAD TOO BUSY around that time.

I was fuming b/c my dad just goes along with anything. There are rehearsals, & tons of things going on. & I do not like people barreling over my sweet dad.. so I have to put a stop to that or my dad will be running around for all his family & be ragged. Perhaps one may think that a father whose daughter is getting married may be a bit busy. I would never even ask someone to inconvenience themselves like that. it is nice when family is able to help but I mean.. Sometimes it is common sense to know what will be going on.

I went through so much to get info together for OOT people, hotel, things to do, etc. & it will make no difference. But to have people go to me “ it is just more comfortable for me to just stay with you, because i don't want to have to drive alot that week & it is more convenient for me”.. ughh.. grrr...

So share your horror stories if you have so I do not feel alone… ANyone have any other unexpected issue come up?

don't quote. I may have to pull some of the identifiable info

that is what I thought. I ended up calling them & letting them know that unfortunately it is going to be a madhouse before and after the wedding. plus all my shower gifts are going to be there until after the HM. so there is not physically room for anyone.

I feel bad because I love my family, but at the same time I am upset that the consideration is not there.

Plus there are other family members that can help but they come to us first...ugh

It's different for me because I don't see it as a big deal. We have a lot of people coming from out of the coountry and out of town and we will be the one picking them up from the airport. I am just glad that they are willing to spend so much to get on a plane, just to share my special day with me.
Just be glad it's only one person demanding that.

My dad is having my entire step family stay with him ( 5 adults , 7 kids!) BUT they will all be renting cars ect and when they visit they are not dependant on my dad for travel ect , even though my dad always goes above and beyond for everyone!

It really isn't your dad's responsibility to do it, but maybe he feel obligated on some level ( not that he is ) to handle OOT family ?

try not to get too upset over it

you should say something ASAP so they can change their plans now. obviously this bothers you and if you don't say something now, you'll only be more stressed by it closer to the wedding.

just be sure you tell them nicely that your dad will be busy with rehearsals and getting ready for the wedding and that you can give them a list of places to go sightseeing and car rentals, train info, etc. so that if they want to make this a vacation they can.

i have to laugh.. i'm sorry!!

our first guest moved in last week and will be staying through the end of summer.. just picked up the phone and said, will here on ___ gave us flight timings and told us to pick them up..

no privacy, puts in 2 cents, and i lost it yesterday and parents say i'm very rude and nasty b/c i don't care about anyone or anything..

PS: i don't have a room anymore.. i'm sure you can reason what happend there..

yup it all starts happening now. I was upset yesterday too but i let it go today. Fh's family(aunts) told his parents yeserday 'maybe its better that my fh's grandma JUST go to ceremony and not the reception and here is why, because nobody wants to have to leave the reception early to take his grandmother home nobody put them in charge of doing this so why they are concerned and take it upon themselves to say for her not to come, i dont understand. FMIL said she will call a car to get his grandma and her home care attendant whom will also be at the reception, then it became about money and his brother said 'ill pay for it, but she went to all your kids weddings, and she will be at my brothers too' fh was so hurt by this, we even saw his grandmother last night for her b-day and she said how important it is for her. She favors fh and his brother, she would even be hurt if everybody dropped her off after the ceremony. I will take this woman home myself bc of how much it means to fh if it came down to it, i dont know how this is even suggested. We'll get her a car, its really not a big deal, we'll pay for it too its fine. I mean they make it seem like its so far, we live in queens and getting married in mineola its about 15-20 mins away, its not bad at all.

Then we heard about someone not coming bc they can't get a babysitter. The one person who said this lives in a multi-million dollar home and is loaded, im sure its not a problem to get a babysitter for 1 night. And its a close family member of fh too.

PLEASE DONT QUOTE ME!!!! i am just upset for fh bc i know it hurt him to hear this

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Posted by jessnstu08

My dad is having my entire step family stay with him ( 5 adults , 7 kids!) BUT they will all be renting cars ect and when they visit they are not dependant on my dad for travel ect , even though my dad always goes above and beyond for everyone!

It really isn't your dad's responsibility to do it, but maybe he feel obligated on some level ( not that he is ) to handle OOT family ?

try not to get too upset over it

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No my dad is just laid back & will help out. I would to but this person just changed there plans & popped this on us. Their original plan was perfect

I feel your pain! My g-parents are staying with us Wed and Thurs before the wedding but my dad said no to the night before the wedding. There are going to be 6 or 7 of us getting ready that morning and 2 more was just TOO MUCH! Ok and as for the night of the wedding, my entire family is staying at the hotel....except my grandparents...they are staying at my parents house!

Also my dad's sister and family are staying over with my parents the whole week after the wedding and plan on site seeing in NYC and my parents are not excited about this at all!

omg denise!!

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Posted by Shell84

It's different for me because I don't see it as a big deal. We have a lot of people coming from out of the coountry and out of town and we will be the one picking them up from the airport. I am just glad that they are willing to spend so much to get on a plane, just to share my special day with me.
Just be glad it's only one person demanding that.

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If it was just me.. no it wouldn't be as much of an issue but my parents are crazy busy & working alot before the wedding. I do not want more work & stress for them than necessary. & they cannot accommodate a ton of people in the house they already have some people that will be staying there. PLus there are others that can help too we have a big family, we are not the only option.

I had originally offered to pick them up, but then they go & change their schedule to a late night flight & I personally will be dead by that time of night & there is no way in hell I want my dad travelliing late after working all day.

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Posted by AR31

i have to laugh.. i'm sorry!!

our first guest moved in last week and will be staying through the end of summer.. just picked up the phone and said, will here on ___ gave us flight timings and told us to pick them up..

no privacy, puts in 2 cents, and i lost it yesterday and parents say i'm very rude and nasty b/c i don't care about anyone or anything..

PS: i don't have a room anymore.. i'm sure you can reason what happend there..

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Well that takes the cake.
You get the award..
I feeel you pain.

If I had to go through that . I would move into a hotel.. haha

I am so sorry.!!! I would need at the very least soem privacy. ugh.. shudder

I knew this is how my family would be so I just anticipate being absolutely insane and catering to everyone.

I am just happy they are coming.

I have to make 3 airport runs because my family expects me to fetch them.

sorry I can't help!

Espo.

Agh. that is infuriating. That is what really riles me up. So many times you think it is the person getting married that is the one all wrapped up with themselves. I am seeing that it is other people not even involved that think they pains should go by their specific needs.

I am sorry that stinks. you are a sweetie & FH is lucky. Shame on the other family. That is not far at all. Shoot

I am an hour from my parents house, & at least 30-40 minutes from everything else!

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Posted by AR31

omg denise!!

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thank you...it is crazy to even suggest that, she is his ONLY living grandparent and it means the world to him for her to be there. Its OUR wedding so why are they stressing these details. I mean they make the decision without talking to me, HELLO did they ever think that maybe i provided transportation for her already. Everybody always gets annoyed about taking his grandma anywhere and its usually his dad who does but obviously they know he cant leave the wedding early for this occasion. And i dont know why its a problem bc for our e-party she was the last to leave lol she stayed until 12;30am and was fine, why are they also picking a time for her to leave the day of our wedding. IF she is tired at 9:30 we'll call a car then, but if not she'll stay. Let her decide when she wants to go home.

Fh just felt like his family thought his wedding is not important enough for his grandmother to come. Meanwhile, when everybody was over her house yesterday for her bday it was my FH she kept asking for, we did go later that afternoon

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Posted by MrsK2008

I knew this is how my family would be so I just anticipate being absolutely insane and catering to everyone.

I am just happy they are coming.

I have to make 3 airport runs because my family expects me to fetch them.

sorry I can't help!

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lol. U r a saint too. they airport runs aren't so bad. are they the day before the wedding too? My wedding is during the day so my hair is all being done the day before. i don't know how I would even handle the influx.

What annoys me is the accommodations & the expectation of being chaffered around before during & after by us when well we are going to be a tad swamped is what is funny.

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Posted by Espo22

celest-are there any cousins or other family members who can entertain them?

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Yes. & I had suggested that from the beginning. but this person thought my parents were geographically better situated for their excursions the next week into the city (when in reality it makes no difference)