Ok. had to share this story. I had this written out before better but I lost what I wrote so here is a quick rewrite.
Now I love my family & am not making this all about me me me. hehe But on the other hand others should know what will be going on during a wedding. & it is about our family & this special occasion & celebration.
I have a family member coming in from out of town. We do not see this family often so I was excited to have them come. but this is how they plan on coming down… two days before the wedding but only booked a hotel for the day before & had expected that my dad.. the father of the bride to pick them up, to stay at my parents, & someone to bring them to the hotel the next day before the wedding & then after the wedding for them to stay there & my family to bring them around the city. Hmm I am starting to think u are really here for a vaca which is fine by me, but I have some things going on that week.. & perhaps me & my family may be a TAD TOO BUSY around that time.
I was fuming b/c my dad just goes along with anything. There are rehearsals, & tons of things going on. & I do not like people barreling over my sweet dad.. so I have to put a stop to that or my dad will be running around for all his family & be ragged. Perhaps one may think that a father whose daughter is getting married may be a bit busy. I would never even ask someone to inconvenience themselves like that. it is nice when family is able to help but I mean.. Sometimes it is common sense to know what will be going on.
I went through so much to get info together for OOT people, hotel, things to do, etc. & it will make no difference. But to have people go to me “ it is just more comfortable for me to just stay with you, because i don't want to have to drive alot that week & it is more convenient for me”.. ughh.. grrr...
So share your horror stories if you have so I do not feel alone… ANyone have any other unexpected issue come up?
don't quote. I may have to pull some of the identifiable info
Espo22
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Re: In shock vent
Posted by Celest
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Celest
Posted by Espo22
Posted by AR31
done!!!
aww sooo cute!!!
thank you
OMG. she is the cutest. I want her..lol. You can tell she adores FH. he looks like a little kid with her.
I am happy for you & him, that you can have her there with you!
hahaha if you pick her up she can go to your wedding ...he does adore her
thank you so much...i hope your family issues work out, i dont know why they have to add more stress
thanks!!
You better be careful though I totally will steal her. lol..
as long as you have good italian food for her, then its all good
Celest
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Re: In shock vent
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Celest
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Celest
Posted by Espo22
Posted by AR31
done!!!
aww sooo cute!!!
thank you
OMG. she is the cutest. I want her..lol. You can tell she adores FH. he looks like a little kid with her.
I am happy for you & him, that you can have her there with you!
hahaha if you pick her up she can go to your wedding ...he does adore her
thank you so much...i hope your family issues work out, i dont know why they have to add more stress
thanks!!
You better be careful though I totally will steal her. lol..
as long as you have good italian food for her, then its all good
I hope JT does some good italian food then
bluegreen08
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Re: In shock vent
FH's whole family is coming from OOT and they are staying at the OOT hotel. There are a lot of them (14 rooms booked so far) so too many to stay at my parents house!
Depending on when FH comes into NY, he might stay at my parents house except for the night before the wedding. Also I have 2 'OOT' BMs (one in NYC, one in CT) who will be sleeping over the night before, after the rehearsal dinner, because we will start getting ready at 5am.
So far nobody else thinks they are staying with us!
soon2bmrsconnolly
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Re: In shock vent
IMHO-
If your dad doesn't care-or is willing to do it- you should let him. They are travelling here for your wedding- which you invited them to- and are spending money to buy you gifts. Rental cars are expensive and so are hotels. Perhaps they realized after making the first plan that the cost was out of reach for their budget.
I would be happy that my family was willing to come celebrate with me.
zoe282
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Re: In shock vent
Wow!!! I read this story and thought of my guests! lol I am getting married in PA and so far we have 40 rooms booked for the night of the wedding....a bunch of OOT tried to rope my dad in to other events like golf and dinners and such and my dad nipped it in the bud right away. He told them he is so happy they are making the trip, but not to count on him for their entertainment...he has a lot going on. Everyone understood which is great. I see it both ways...1 that people are making an OOT trip so if they are coming far they want to stay more then 1 night....BUT....they have to understand that there is so much to be done and that the family can't be responsible for them!
Princess Cut Bride
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Re: In shock vent
I'm sorry your family is expecting your father to be their choffer and tour guide! I think that is horrible. They are not being considerate towards your family. I think your father should just be honest and tell them that he would be more than happy to take them out after the wedding but until then he will be very busy with preparations.
When my brother got married in 2004 we had 11 people stay with us at my parents house for 1 month. They are my mom's family from Italy. My mother has no family here ...it's just us and my dad's family. They were very understanding and actually helpful in preparations.
Now for my wedding I still don't know how many are coming but I do know that they will be coming in closer to the wedding (maybe a week before week & a half) and then staying for a month.
Celest
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Re: In shock vent
Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly
IMHO-
If your dad doesn't care-or is willing to do it- you should let him. They are travelling here for your wedding- which you invited them to- and are spending money to buy you gifts. Rental cars are expensive and so are hotels. Perhaps they realized after making the first plan that the cost was out of reach for their budget.
I would be happy that my family was willing to come celebrate with me.
Actually this person is better off than we are combined. & it is not about the money to me. I would not inviting people from OOTexpecting them to buy me gifts. For me it is about the event of us officially joining lives. This person was planning on coming to NYC anyway because they wanted to travel & said so to me. I am lucky they want to reschedule it to be the same time, so that is not the issue.
& no my dad actually will be doing other stuff since he is in the wedding party & we have rehearsal & events the days before. Plus there are more than one family member we are trying to help in those days. Plus I at least am looking out for my family & do not want them run ragged and am considerate of their time & energy. I will do my best to help but not at their expense
Matter of fact.. there is not going to be room in my parents house for the bridal party & us getting ready ,so I am spending the money getting a room the night before
Celest
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Re: In shock vent
zoe282 - thanks. I agree completely. It is going to be so crazy. FH has a lot of family coming in too but they are being easier & staying with aunts & uncles.
I told family that I am going on the HM after the wedding, but I will try to help out those that are around if I can the days after.
bluekat16
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Re: In shock vent
It's awalsy sticky when it comes to family. Your dad may feel obligated to entertain them becaue they're family. NOt that he doesn't think he's going to be busy around that time. I know how you feel though.
zoe282
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Re: In shock vent
Posted by Celest
zoe282 - thanks. I agree completely. It is going to be so crazy. FH has a lot of family coming in too but they are being easier & staying with aunts & uncles.
I told family that I am going on the HM after the wedding, but I will try to help out those that are around if I can the days after.
definitely! I told my family that if people are around the next day we should have something at the house, but before? no way! Like you said there is so much that needs to be done anyway.
Celest
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Re: In shock vent
Princess Cut Bride - that is so cute though & if your dad had the room & enjoyed it.. that is so great.
Shoot we can't even accommodate the family we have currently in the house in the house. I would faint if we tried 11 extra..
soon2bmrsconnolly
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Re: In shock vent
Posted by Celest
Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly
IMHO-
If your dad doesn't care-or is willing to do it- you should let him. They are travelling here for your wedding- which you invited them to- and are spending money to buy you gifts. Rental cars are expensive and so are hotels. Perhaps they realized after making the first plan that the cost was out of reach for their budget.
I would be happy that my family was willing to come celebrate with me.
Actually this person is better off than we are combined. & it is not about the money to me. I would not inviting people from OOTexpecting them to buy me gifts. For me it is about the event of us officially joining lives. This person was planning on coming to NYC anyway because they wanted to travel & said so to me. I am lucky they want to reschedule it to be the same time, so that is not the issue.
& no my dad actually will be doing other stuff since he is in the wedding party & we have rehearsal & events the days before. Plus there are more than one family member we are trying to help in those days. Plus I at least am looking out for my family & do not want them run ragged and am considerate of their time & energy. I will do my best to help but not at their expense
Matter of fact.. there is not going to be room in my parents house for the bridal party & us getting ready ,so I am spending the money getting a room the night before
Okay- Maybe they are being stingy. My point was- maybe to keep the peace, you should just let your dad do what he is willing to do. I hope it works out for you!
