Infants at weddings?

This happened to me - really not as stressful (JMO) as some are making it out. You just have to NOT deal with it and let the parents figure it out - after you lay down your ground rules.

I told them ( in a nice way) that thats fine if they want to bring the baby, but i couldn't really accomodate them by providing them with an extra room, etc. And if the baby starts to cry during the cermeony it would be great if you could take them out side for a bit.

I was lucky enough that the table they were sitting at actually had an extra chair, but it didn't really matter as the baby was held by the parents pretty much the entire night.

Don't worry about the baby, let them figure it out for themselves. Of course, this is much easier i think when the baby is an infant - as was in my case. No chance of a toddler running down the ailse or anything.

OK...infants at weddings is a hot topic.

To answer your question, and I understand exactly what you're going through because my family was from OOT and brought their kids (where exactly where they supposed to be if not at the wedding?), the baby doesn't need a placecard. The baby doesn't need a seat. Although she's probably going to be with her mom so I would leave the seat next to her mom open and sit her close to the head of the table...away from the dance floor and in a corner so she can do what she needs.

Hope that helps. Oh, and that day, you'll be so happy to see all your guests...even the infants!

I really dont see what the big deal is, you have special people in your lives who you want to come to your wedding they have infants, I would never expect for someone to leave their tiny baby at home just to come to my wedding. They dont cost you anything to be there and you aren't being asked to change dirty diapers while in your wedding gown so what is the problem? I am having lots of little kids at my wedding, I dont want to disinclude parts of my family just because they have little kids.

Why do people care so much about kids at weddings?

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

Call your hall to see if there is a room (not the bridal suite) where the baby and a baby sitter can stay. If they do, ask about using it and look into hiring a babysitter.

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I was going to suggest this!

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Posted by Tiggeruth

I really dont see what the big deal is, you have special people in your lives who you want to come to your wedding they have infants, I would never expect for someone to leave their tiny baby at home just to come to my wedding. They dont cost you anything to be there and you aren't being asked to change dirty diapers while in your wedding gown so what is the problem? I am having lots of little kids at my wedding, I dont want to disinclude parts of my family just because they have little kids.

Why do people care so much about kids at weddings?

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I agree, but this is a hot topic on these boards. I couldn't imagine our wedding without our special Niece and Nephews...and we didn't.

Katrina is not saying she doesn't want the infant there...she's just trying to find a solution to make the baby and her family comfortable.

She's beautiful!

I absolutely LOVE this picture!

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Posted by 103005FallBride

She's beautiful!

I absolutely LOVE this picture!

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Thank you. Isn't she just gorgeous

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Posted by 103005FallBride

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Posted by Tiggeruth

I really dont see what the big deal is, you have special people in your lives who you want to come to your wedding they have infants, I would never expect for someone to leave their tiny baby at home just to come to my wedding. They dont cost you anything to be there and you aren't being asked to change dirty diapers while in your wedding gown so what is the problem? I am having lots of little kids at my wedding, I dont want to disinclude parts of my family just because they have little kids.

Why do people care so much about kids at weddings?

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I agree, but this is a hot topic on these boards. I couldn't imagine our wedding without our special Niece and Nephews...and we didn't.

Katrina is not saying she doesn't want the infant there...she's just trying to find a solution to make the baby and her family comfortable.

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Actually, we have kids coming. I invited all of our nieces and nephews plus the 2 sons of one cousin who range in age from 9 (twin girls of FH's sister) to age 17 (my niece). We do not have any infants coming except the angel pictured.

The whole family will be at the wedding so where are the kids supposed to be if not at the wedding I have one uncle who was trying to bring his daughter (that we invited), his on/off girlfriend & her kids too. That is where we drew the line.....and he may not end up coming at all.

I was in a similar situation. we had no kids at the wedding (aside from his 12 yr old niece and my 13 year old cousin). one of DH's cousins wanted to bring their 4 month old baby to the wedding and we said absolutely not.

it's just not what we wanted

What a great topic...I need to join in myself!

We have a total of 10 children coming to our wedding which we are both fine with - half of them are out of town cousin's kids and they wouldn't come if their kids weren't invited - we love their children and want them there. 4 of the 10 kids are flower girls and ring bearers anyway (1 being my adorable nephew)....so this is not an issue to us.

Now here's my problem.....my FH's brother and his wife are expecting twins in June. Our wedding is in Nov so they will still be infants. Now this is a couple who demanded no children whatsoever at their fancy schmansy wedding. There's was in a hotel so what they did was hire some teenage babysitters and put them in a room with toys and stuff and anyone who had kids had no choice but to leave their children in that room with the babysitters. One cousin from out of town - her kid had never been left with a babysitter so the kid was screaming bloody murder 5 minutes after her parents left. They basically had to go get her and go back to their room with her for the night....they flew all the way from San Diego and missed the wedding & spent the night ordering room service in their hotel room in their black tie wedding attire with their 5 year old daughter! So now that they are expecting their firsts...they made a comment to us recently about us hiring a babysitter like they did....for their babies. EXCUSE ME but I do not want to be responsible for picking a person to be in charge of their infant twins. And my wedding is in a country club - not a hotel where I can set up day care in some room like they did. I was just really appalled by this - they are going to have a live in nanny. Would it be rude of us to suggest to them that they get a hotel room nearby and have the nanny watch the babies there? It's just that this is my FH's brother and his wife - I feel like they won't enjoy themselves as much if their newborns are there. And my own 2 sisters both just gave birth a week and 2 weeks ago....their babies aren't coming - they already have friends or in-laws set up to watch them. My own sisters don't want their babies there - they want to have fun at their sisters wedding. I mean I absolutely want my 4 year old nephew there...but I just don't think a wedding is a place for an infant.

And besides that issue - my FH's best friend (a female) also put the pressure on us about what she's going to do with her 2 children for the night. Like we need to hear/deal with this - we have enough to stress out and worry about. I just think it's really rude of people to put this on the bride and groom. We are invitng this girl's mother and her father-in-law (both widows)...my FH has been friends with her for a long time and wants to invite their parents b/c he knows them so well. So she actually told us they might get a hotel room nearby and all 4 of them take turns going back and forth to watch the kids. The nearest hotel to our wedding location is a good 20 minutes away. They'd miss half the wedding and it's my FH's best friends...he wants them there and possibly wants them IN the wedding. In this case I think she should ask her mom to politely decline our invite so she can stay at home and watch her kids. I just think there was no need for her to involve us in this - we have enough to think about. And she was rude about it too...the way she said it sounded like she was annoyed we were even having a wedding b/c it was putting them in this situation of what to do with their kids. They do not leave their children with babysitters.

UGH - just needed to join the bandwagon and vent.....

AND - with my 2 sisters who just had babies...and my FH's brother expecting twins (those will be the first grandchildren for my FH's parents so they are ecstatic to say the least)....we sort of feel like...and I hope I don't sound like a baby saying this....but we just feel like neither of our families seem that excited for our wedding. All anyone talks about is the babies which I love more than anything...don't get me wrong. But I'm still getting married and am still excited for that - I can't even say the word wedding to my mom or sisters - it's like they don't even want to think about it yet. Everything we've planned so far we've just done alone - the 2 of us. Our familes have just not seemed that interested and it's starting to really get to me. My FH's brother says to us all the time 'sorry we stole your thunder' - like he knows his baby news is more exciting than our wedding. We were engaged before they announced they were pregnant so we had a few short months of people's excitement & attention.
I'm also turning 30 in a month and was talking to my mom today about that - we usually go out to dinner in my family for a big bday. She told me we can't this year b/c of the new babies - we'll just do something at home. That's fine with me but the way she said it - it almost sounded like my bday being so soon after the birth of my 2 sister's babies is an inconvenience or something. I just feel like it's a big year for me turning 30 and I'm getting married and I just feel like both are being overlooked by my family.

Sorry - I sound so childish saying this but it just feels crappy to feel like no one cares.
My FH refers to this year as Four Babies and a Wedding for our families...instead of whatever that movie is called (4 weddings and a funeral).

Thanks for letting me vent!

And PS - I want to start looking for a dress soon...had thought I'd take a day off work so I don't have to deal with weekend crowds...I want my mom and 2 sisters to come but I can just hear them now...what will they do with the new babies? I'm going to be really upset if they can't commit to a date to go look at wedding gowns with me.

oops - sorry that was SO long...I was really rambilng there

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Posted by Tiggeruth

I really dont see what the big deal is, you have special people in your lives who you want to come to your wedding they have infants, I would never expect for someone to leave their tiny baby at home just to come to my wedding. They dont cost you anything to be there and you aren't being asked to change dirty diapers while in your wedding gown so what is the problem? I am having lots of little kids at my wedding, I dont want to disinclude parts of my family just because they have little kids.

Why do people care so much about kids at weddings?

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The big deal ( with myself) is that both the people were in our wedding party and with that comes responsibility-in addition to this when we approached them about what they planned to do with the baby at the ceremony -we were greeted with attitude-

We are hosting this party, we are footing the bill and when we ask something of people in our BP we expect not to be told horrible things. Again I am speaking from my point of view and a late night wedding is no place for a small child.

I also do not understand bringing a small child out to something like a wedding-so you trust a babysitter to watch you kid when you want to go out to dinner but not for 5 hours while you attend a wedding.? how does that add up-?