invitation wording - opinions, please!!

what do you all think of this wording for invites? i want to keep my late father as an active part of the invitation, if that makes sense... please let me know (honestly) what you think.

btw, it's a formal wedding, so going for the formal wording here...


Mrs. L.S.,
on behalf of herself and of the late Mr. J. S.,
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Dr. A. L. S.
to
Dr. G. M. W.
on Saturday, the twenty-eighth of May
Two thousand and Five
at six-thirty in the evening
Idle Hour, the Vanderbilt Mansion at Oakdale
Idle Hour Boulevard
Oakdale, New York

Dinner and dancing to follow

thanks for your input, everyone

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

Classically, with a formal invite, a deceased parent is not mentioned. That said, I think it is so beautiful of you to honor your dad and I think traditions are made when you start them. I will look up the 'recommended wording' and report back.
Also, I am not sure, again, in a classical sense, that you list degress for the bride and groom...but again, I think you ought to do what you like.
If you do use the title, I am pretty sure you would write out the word Doctor, as opposed to Dr.

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

Deb, I was waiting for you to reply. You are the etiquette queen. My book says that the deceased parent is not mentioned. I think it would be a nice tribute to your dad to have him mentioned on the invite.

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

I'm not sure because I haven't done anything with invite wording yet... But I totally understand the sentiment I lost my father also.

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

Another suggestion:
Formally, a woman uses their married name on a wedding invite --> so if your mom did use her married name a/k/a Mrs. Robert Jones
then how about:
Mrs. Robert Jones
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Doctor A. L. S.
to
Doctor G. M. W.
on Saturday, the twenty-eighth of May
Two thousand and Five
at six-thirty in the evening
Idle Hour, the Vanderbilt Mansion at Oakdale
Idle Hour Boulevard
Oakdale, New York


Reception to follow

That way she is certainly invoking your dad (it is unspoken that he is missing because if alive, he would be part of the couple issuing the wedding) but follows the more traditional route. But again, this is your wedding and thus your tradition...what you wrote is beautiful and touching, but I would spell out doctor.

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

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Posted by DebMaher

Classically, with a formal invite, a deceased parent is not mentioned. That said, I think it is so beautiful of you to honor your dad and I think traditions are made when you start them. I will look up the 'recommended wording' and report back.
Also, I am not sure, again, in a classical sense, that you list degress for the bride and groom...but again, I think you ought to do what you like.

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yup, i know about the deceased parent 'etiquette'... but not mentioning him is out of the question for me. and besides, he's paying!! (ok, don't everyone get creeped out - he's laughing at the joke wherever he is - and it's true, it's his hard-earned $$ that is paying the tab...).

about the degrees, i'm not thrilled about that. ok, i down right hate it. it was sort of a 'compromise', if you will, with FHs mom. she wanted us to get married the weekend before graduation for the sake of convenience, but i wanted the end of may in hopes of warmer weather. so she agreed to have his family fly to NY twice... if we acknowledged our new 'titles' in the invite...

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

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Posted by DebMaher

Another suggestion:
Formally, a woman uses their married name on a wedding invite --> so if your mom did use her married name a/k/a Mrs. Robert Jones
.

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i've thought about the married name thing, but i've always disliked the use of that. it's like the woman loses her identity, completely taking the husband's name except for a 'mrs.' stuck in front of it!

having vented that, though, i think it might be less... cumbersome than what i wrote...

if we use the titles at all i agree that it would be better to write out 'doctor'. but the more i think about it the more i strongly dislike it. maybe i will just make a 'mistake' on the invites and leave the titles out

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

Well, OK, I have not found much in the way of suggestion as it usually defaults to leaving off deceased parent, but how about if you go for a bit more symmetry:
(From a British wedding site)


Mrs. Beth Anne Marsh and the late Mr. John Michael Marsh
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage of their daughter,
Doctor A L S
to
Doctor Maxwell James Mason,
son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert James Mason
on Saturday, the twenty-eighth of May
Two thousand and Five
at six-thirty in the evening
Idle Hour, the Vanderbilt Mansion at Oakdale
Idle Hour Boulevard
Oakdale, New York


Reception to follow

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

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Posted by alexlynn7

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Posted by DebMaher

Another suggestion:
Formally, a woman uses their married name on a wedding invite --> so if your mom did use her married name a/k/a Mrs. Robert Jones
.

---

i've thought about the married name thing, but i've always disliked the use of that. it's like the woman loses her identity, completely taking the husband's name except for a 'mrs.' stuck in front of it!

having vented that, though, i think it might be less... cumbersome than what i wrote...

if we use the titles at all i agree that it would be better to write out 'doctor'. but the more i think about it the more i strongly dislike it. maybe i will just make a 'mistake' on the invites and leave the titles out

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I hear you and certainly agree...the up side is the less cumbersome verbage, as you put it. But I see nothing wrong with writing it out either.
I cannot help but agree about the doctor although if spelled out I do not think it so bad.

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

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Posted by DebMaher

Well, OK, I have not found much in the way of suggestion as it usually defaults to leaving off deceased parent, but how about if you go for a bit more symmetry:
(From a British wedding site)


Mrs. Beth Anne Marsh and the late Mr. John Michael Marsh
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage of their daughter,
Doctor A L S
to
Doctor Maxwell James Mason,
son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert James Mason

---

I like this one!! I think it is a little easier to read and less cumbersome (sp?) Definately add you Dad though! I think it is a great thought!

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

call me crazy, but i love the idea of having your father there, but just not in the beginning. that could wierd some people out cause he's not actually inviting...how about...

Dr. A. L. S.
daughter of Mrs. L.S and the late Mr. S
and
Dr. G. M. W.
son of blah blah blah
request the honour of your presence
on Saturday, the twenty-eighth of May
Two thousand and Five
at six-thirty in the evening
Idle Hour, the Vanderbilt Mansion at Oakdale
Idle Hour Boulevard
Oakdale, New York

Dinner and dancing to follow

i dunno...?

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

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Posted by alexlynn7

.

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i've thought about the married name thing, but i've always disliked the use of that. it's like the woman loses her identity, completely taking the husband's name except for a 'mrs.' stuck in front of it!

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I agree with this.. I think what you had at first is fine.. We needed to futz with the formal invite wording due to our unique situation-- so, you can do whatever you want.

To avoid the 'cumbersome' nature of the the names- you can put the names at the bottom.. This is what we did.. something along the lines of:

Your company is requested blah blah
at the marriage of [their children]
Randi Beth
and
Matthew Lawrence
at the blah blah at x time

then after all that- we just listed the parent names.. no mr and mrs-- then my mom's name would not be on the inivte- she would be Mrs. Stepfather- I was not having that--

If you put the names at the bottom- you can write a little bit more about your dad- and the wording would not seem as awkward since it is at the bottom, rather the top.

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

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Posted by DebMaher

Well, OK, I have not found much in the way of suggestion as it usually defaults to leaving off deceased parent, but how about if you go for a bit more symmetry:
(From a British wedding site)


Mrs. Beth Anne Marsh and the late Mr. John Michael Marsh
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage of their daughter,
Doctor A L S
to
Doctor Maxwell James Mason,
son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert James Mason
on Saturday, the twenty-eighth of May
Two thousand and Five
at six-thirty in the evening
Idle Hour, the Vanderbilt Mansion at Oakdale
Idle Hour Boulevard
Oakdale, New York


Reception to follow

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i actually like the first sentence better than mine, i just didn't write it cause i thought it might sound creepy to others. do you think it sounds weird?

and what's your thought about the whole 'son of' thing? i've read that it's not required to include the groom's parents in the invite if they're not contributing to the wedding expenses. but i'm not sure...

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

Son of was for symmetry but I think you can easily skip that SO:
Mrs. Beth Anne Marsh and the late Mr. John Michael Marsh
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage of their daughter,
Doctor A L S
to
Doctor Maxwell James Mason
on Saturday, the twenty-eighth of May
Two thousand and Five
at six-thirty in the evening
Idle Hour, the Vanderbilt Mansion at Oakdale
Idle Hour Boulevard
Oakdale, New York


Reception to follow

This is really nice and I think the Doctors spelled out is fine. Again, formallity suggests the 'reception to follow' rather than dinner and dancing' but that is a call for you.

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

I don't know guys...i still say that including the father in the 'requesting' is a little wierd IMO!

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

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Posted by azoodie2

call me crazy, but i love the idea of having your father there, but just not in the beginning. that could wierd some people out cause he's not actually inviting...how about...

Dr. A. L. S.
daughter of Mrs. L.S and the late Mr. S
and
Dr. G. M. W.
son of blah blah blah
request the honour of your presence
on Saturday, the twenty-eighth of May
Two thousand and Five
at six-thirty in the evening
Idle Hour, the Vanderbilt Mansion at Oakdale
Idle Hour Boulevard
Oakdale, New York

Dinner and dancing to follow

i dunno...?

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i like this version too... however, i've read that this wording implies that the bride and groom are hosting the event, when in fact it's my mother (and really my dad)...

who knew these things were so complicated?!?!

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

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Posted by azoodie2

I don't know guys...i still say that including the father in the 'requesting' is a little wierd IMO!

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I have to agree with az on this one. I really liked the original wording.. 'on behalf of...' i think that it sounds more like a nice memorial to him, than him requesting from the beyond JMHO

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

It seems nothing is easy with wedding planning!!!

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

i know alex that's what i figured....i dunno!!!

Re: invitation wording - opinions, please!!

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Posted by randella

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Posted by alexlynn7

.

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To avoid the 'cumbersome' nature of the the names- you can put the names at the bottom.. This is what we did.. something along the lines of:

Your company is requested blah blah
at the marriage of [their children]
Randi Beth
and
Matthew Lawrence
at the blah blah at x time

then after all that- we just listed the parent names.. no mr and mrs-- then my mom's name would not be on the inivte- she would be Mrs. Stepfather- I was not having that--

If you put the names at the bottom- you can write a little bit more about your dad- and the wording would not seem as awkward since it is at the bottom, rather the top.

---

hmmm.... something like this, maybe?

your company is requested at the marriage of

A.L.S.

to

G.M.W.

at the blah blah at x time

Reception to follow

Mrs. L.S. and the late Mr. J.S.


????