Invite drama!

UGH. So FSIL calls me today and asks about the invites and we are talking and I mentioned that we chose to write 'together with our parents...' instead of writing both parents names since we paid for it ourselves and felt all the names are confusing. She basically flips out (in true FSIL fashion....she has a opinion about everything) and says FMIL is going to be very upset and unhappy about this. I wasnt understanding because I alwasy thought it was more of a courtesy and a matter of who is hosting the wedding.
Anyway I blow her off and call FH. when he got home from work he called his mom and talked to her about it and she WAS sort of upset about it. She was talking a lot about tradition and that she was expecting it to be on there, but she'll be fine with whatever we decided (riiiiigghhhtt)/

So now Im upset. I thought we were being NICE by even putting 'together with our parents' and now his mom is sort of dissapointed about it.

My mom could care less.....

Any ideas on what to do? The invites are already ordered and stuff.

I would leave it! I just looked at my FMIL invitation which is from the 70s. Her parents paid for the wedding, (Tradition). The only names on the invitation was the parents names and the bride and the groom.
I just ordered invitations today. They told me that the only names that should be on top, are the ones that are hosting the wedding.

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Posted by marymoon

I would leave it. Tradition! yeah right. Traditionally the bride's parents pay and their names are the only ones on the invite! Since you're paying yourselves, i think even putting 'together with their parents' you are paying them a big courtesy.

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Agree 100%

Leave it!!!!!!!!!

Your paying for it, you do what you want!!!!

Send them out the way they are!

I'd leave it Jen....

Now you have me worried b/c when we first got engaged FMIL made a comment about being on the invites, but again we are paying for EVERYTHING ourselves...we were probably going to do the same as you & put together w/ our parents....Aggravating.....I know how you feel.

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

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Posted by marymoon

I would leave it. Tradition! yeah right. Traditionally the bride's parents pay and their names are the only ones on the invite! Since you're paying yourselves, i think even putting 'together with their parents' you are paying them a big courtesy.

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Agree 100%

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I agree also tradition is bride only. But in my case (I posted a similar fiaso recently) i did put son of 'blah blah' b/c FMIL though I should mention the names, together with the parenst is a nice compromise though. the lesson I learned in the end is these are just words on a paper, and ultimately the relationships between the people will go on for life after the wedding is over. Somehow including everyone is I guess 'politically correct' these days.

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Posted by marymoon

I would leave it. Tradition! yeah right. Traditionally the bride's parents pay and their names are the only ones on the invite! Since you're paying yourselves, i think even putting 'together with their parents' you are paying them a big courtesy.

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I agree - this is what we did.

Leave it.

We are paying 100% and we did the exact same thing by putting 'together with their parents'. I think it is a nice gesture to include them and IMO, that is enough.

This exact thing happened to my cousin...well similar...she had horrible in laws ...she and her husband paid for the entire wedding and neither side gave any money..(and her husband would not stand up to them at all)....Her FMIL called her one day prior to the wedding and said you know...Mr So and So is really upset that his name will not be on the invitation....So she just said well if Mr and So and So would like to cut me at check for $42,000 ..Then I will gladly put his name on the invite!

Stand your ground JEN!

UGH- sorry you are having drama. I would just leave it!! I am not even mentioning parents (and mine are paying for part of it!) because I didn't like the way it looked on the invites. Luckily no one has seemed to care. I wouldn't worry about it, she'll get over it eventually

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Posted by beautyq115

This exact thing happened to my cousin...well similar...she had horrible in laws ...she and her husband paid for the entire wedding and neither side gave any money..(and her husband would not stand up to them at all)....Her FMIL called her one day prior to the wedding and said you know...Mr So and So is really upset that his name will not be on the invitation....So she just said well if Mr and So and So would like to cut me at check for $42,000 ..Then I will gladly put his name on the invite!

Stand your ground JEN!

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Well the thing is I have a really good relationship with them and I hope they arent upset with me. His mom just is very 'old school' about a lot of things and doesnt realize times change.

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Posted by Jen2999

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Posted by beautyq115

This exact thing happened to my cousin...well similar...she had horrible in laws ...she and her husband paid for the entire wedding and neither side gave any money..(and her husband would not stand up to them at all)....Her FMIL called her one day prior to the wedding and said you know...Mr So and So is really upset that his name will not be on the invitation....So she just said well if Mr and So and So would like to cut me at check for $42,000 ..Then I will gladly put his name on the invite!

Stand your ground JEN!

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Well the thing is I have a really good relationship with them and I hope they arent upset with me. His mom just is very 'old school' about a lot of things and doesnt realize times change.

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She didn't have a good relationship with them whatsoever......I just wanted to share that story because the punch line is so funny....

Can you explain the sitation to your MIL??

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Posted by beautyq115

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Posted by Jen2999

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Posted by beautyq115

This exact thing happened to my cousin...well similar...she had horrible in laws ...she and her husband paid for the entire wedding and neither side gave any money..(and her husband would not stand up to them at all)....Her FMIL called her one day prior to the wedding and said you know...Mr So and So is really upset that his name will not be on the invitation....So she just said well if Mr and So and So would like to cut me at check for $42,000 ..Then I will gladly put his name on the invite!

Stand your ground JEN!

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Well the thing is I have a really good relationship with them and I hope they arent upset with me. His mom just is very 'old school' about a lot of things and doesnt realize times change.

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She didn't have a good relationship with them whatsoever......I just wanted to share that story because the punch line is so funny....

Can you explain the sitation to your MIL??

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Ehhh I think I might let sleeping dogs lie for now. I dont want to make it worse ya know?

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Posted by Jen2999

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Posted by beautyq115

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Posted by Jen2999

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Posted by beautyq115

This exact thing happened to my cousin...well similar...she had horrible in laws ...she and her husband paid for the entire wedding and neither side gave any money..(and her husband would not stand up to them at all)....Her FMIL called her one day prior to the wedding and said you know...Mr So and So is really upset that his name will not be on the invitation....So she just said well if Mr and So and So would like to cut me at check for $42,000 ..Then I will gladly put his name on the invite!

Stand your ground JEN!

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Well the thing is I have a really good relationship with them and I hope they arent upset with me. His mom just is very 'old school' about a lot of things and doesnt realize times change.

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She didn't have a good relationship with them whatsoever......I just wanted to share that story because the punch line is so funny....

Can you explain the sitation to your MIL??

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Ehhh I think I might let sleeping dogs lie for now. I dont want to make it worse ya know?

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I understand..how could she not love you though

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Posted by Jen2999

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Posted by beautyq115

This exact thing happened to my cousin...well similar...she had horrible in laws ...she and her husband paid for the entire wedding and neither side gave any money..(and her husband would not stand up to them at all)....Her FMIL called her one day prior to the wedding and said you know...Mr So and So is really upset that his name will not be on the invitation....So she just said well if Mr and So and So would like to cut me at check for $42,000 ..Then I will gladly put his name on the invite!

Stand your ground JEN!

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Well the thing is I have a really good relationship with them and I hope they arent upset with me. His mom just is very 'old school' about a lot of things and doesnt realize times change.

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If his mom is really old school then she should realize HER name doesn't go on the invite. Tradition (old school) had the bride's parents as the hosts, with no mention of the groom's parents whatsoever on the invite.